Come for the danishes, stay for the espresso, become enthralled by the tea, and join a nice knitting club with the croissants. She/They loves making things but mostly world building and gaming
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
It's been 55 years since Milton Friedman – cursed be his name – published his NYT editorial, "The Social Responsibility of Business Is to Increase Its Profits," in which he invented the idea of shareholder supremacy out of whole cloth and declared it to be a universal, freestanding, inarguable truth:
Friedman's editorial railed against the idea of "corporate social responsibility," arguing that corporate managers should confine the exercise of their consciences to projects involving their own money and resources. At work, managers must harden their bleeding hearts and do nothing except increase the returns to their shareholders.
Friedman wasn't merely arguing that this would give rise to better companies – the crux of his argument was that by adopting this "fiduciary duty" standard, it would be easy to determine whether a company was being well-managed or run into the ground:
Friedman argued that "being a good person" was a squishy, undefinable standard that could never be objectively measured. But "maximizing shareholder value" was a crisp, bright-line test that could be readily evaluated by any reasonable person. "Did this manager make as much money as possible for the company's owners?" feels like the kind of question we can all agree on, while, "Did this manager behave in an ethical way?" is much harder to answer.
But even a few moments' thoughts reveal the flaw in this line of reasoning. We can all agree whether a manager made money for the shareholders – but how can we know whether the manager made as much money as possible?
Think about how much "corporate social responsibility" cashes out to performative and insincere nonsense and/or cynical marketing. Target didn't stock Pride merch because they love their LGBTQ friends. They stocked it because they thought they could sell it (same goes for BP marketing its "green" gasoline). Google supports its coders' environmental/queer/antipoverty efforts because being the "don't be evil" company lets you hire in-demand workers who might otherwise go to work for Meta, and every engineer a Silicon Valley firm hires adds an average of $1m to the company's annual bottom line.
Further: it would be absurd to hold managers to the "make as much money as possible" standard in a competitive market, because in that market, there will always be a company that comes in second. If "as much money as possible" is the standard and you're Chairman of the Board of the number two company, with $10b in profit, while the number one pulled in $11b, "as much money as possible" demands that you fire the C-suite immediately, since they objectively could have done 10% better.
So the real standard isn't "make as much money as possible," it's "try to make as much money as possible." And here again, there's no objective way to evaluate managerial performance. Target made a lot of money by selling Pride merch…until they didn't. Do we fire the Target C-suite because they failed to anticipate that 2024 would mark America's transition into the chuddocene, an era in which selling Pride tchotchkes makes you cucked and soy and, you know, gay?
Whether it's "make as much money as possible" or "try to make as much money as possible*," shareholder supremacy can only be evaluated with the aid of a crystal ball…or a time machine.
Which raises a question: what made this nonsensical shareholder supremacy standard so damned attractive to corporate leaders?
Well, what if the ambiguity of shareholder supremacy was a feature and not a bug? What if the function of shareholder supremacy was to absolve the cruelest people for indulging their most sociopathic instincts? What if this "bright line test" was actually a universal excuse, an all-purpose accountability sink that could be used to justify any cruelty or cowardice? "Why didn't I fire my college buddy when I found out that he was sexually abusing his colleagues? Well, he was the best salesman on the team, and I have an obligation to my shareholders. Sorry, my hands were tied."
"Profit" shouldn't be the primary goal of any company. Money is a tool to facilitate the trade of labor, goods, and services. On its own it is entirely worthless - a million dollars only has value because it can be exchanged for things, not because of any inherent value or usefulness of having lots of money.
That doesn't mean profit and shareholder returns should be ignored, just that it should be secondary to whatever product or service the company actually offers.
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So, the other day, when I was discussing AO3's policy on solicitation, a tumblr user came at me saying that AO3's "no monetization/solicitation" rules were "bullshit" because nexus mods allows fan created mods to get paid.
Look at me.
Look at me right now.
AO3 protects you.
AO3 protects you and your works.
It protects your works from copyright strikes and DCMA takedowns.
It protects your work from advertisers.
It protects your work from overzealous legal challenges.
It protects your right to post adult content.
AO3 is non-profit and AO3 will never try to use you or your work to make a profit for themselves and AO3 will go to bat for you if someone tries to legally challenge you or your works.
Mastercard has no reason to mess with AO3. Visa doesn't. PayPal doesn't. Stripe doesn't. There's no compensation-for-porn exchange happening. By design. BY DESIGN.
AO3's founders knew that AO3 needed to be set up to protect us from any and all avenues of attack on fanworks. They've managed it quite successfully.
All y'all who thought they didn't need to? Sit the fuck down and SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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I was so weird about lesbian sex for a long time because when I was 15 I hooked up with an older girl at bible camp and suddenly got my period during it and I was so embarassed but she didn't care so we kept going and then I suddenly got a severe nosebleed for no reason while I was on top of her kissing her and you can imagine how that went so there was my blood everywhere all over both of us and this sounds like I'm making shit up but it was insane and k i was panicking but she was like all about it so we just kept going and like it was too late, there was already blood on both of us! Like all over us. and I thought it was kind of powerful. so I let myself get blood all over the cabin. we were feverish. At first I just let my nosebleed drip on the floor and we both laughed like fuck this place yeah lets get blood everywhere. And we did. This is just what makes us girls. We had this cabin entirely to ourselves too for 3 whole nights!! They didn't check on us in there even once!!! Not even the counselors wanted to be near us- we had wanted to be alone and not participate in the religious activities so we told everyone we were sick, however the absolutely insane family who single-handedly ran the camp (the mom was rarely seen of course but the dad was this freaky cult-leader type preacher named Greg, and they had ummmm I think 15 kids or something, most of whom were adults, so they had no issue running this camp on an acreage they owned with very little outsider involvement) genuinely thought we were just posessed by demons, and in response they gave us our own cabin in order to ensure that we were kept away from the other kids there. Major oversight on their part and also sounds illegal but I could tell they were scared shitless of me (weird hair I cut and dyed myself, 3 lip piercings, septum ring, mid kandi kid phase so I had rainbow bracelets up past my elbows) and the girl (who had a jugalette tattoo and was the only black girl at the camp, I think ever)... I ended up getting banned from bible camp for other reasons... lesbian sex blood rituals aside....... (a kid saw me smoking something in a pipe and snitched, and they thought it was weed but it was so obviously just mint tea...) yeah after that I was like "was god punishing me for being a lesbian by making me bleed everywhere during sex oh god I'm going to hell forever and ever waaah" because even though I didn't believe in that shit in any real way at all I still had raging paranoia about being punished for being gay... regardless I came to the conclusion that if all that bloodshed was the price of homosexuality then I'd just have to learn to enjoy it. And I was so right for that . But yeah when I did have sex again after that I was like Ok hellooooo God where is the blood are u there God...???
With all the talk about telling people to start planting and growing crops to feed themselves and their communities during this time of crisis, I’m surprised I haven’t seen much about HOW MUCH to plant to feed people. Here’s a good article to serve as a jumping-off point, to give people an idea of when to plant and how much to plant to keep people fed. Keep in mind that unless you live on a fairly sizeable plot of land that has ideal growing conditions, you probably won’t be able to completely feed a family of four, at least with traditional gardening methods. However, you can still heavily supplement your diet with homegrown food if you plot your garden carefully.
It's time to plan the vegetable garden, but how much should you plant per person to feed your family?
Some things you can do to save space include growing plants in stackable towers rather than flat rows. Not everything can grow this way, but growing herbs or even strawberries or some kinds of tomatoes in them can save a lot of space. Bonus points if you can get some vertical vining plants like beans or tomatoes to grow up the sides of them to maximize the space used.
Hanging planters can also be used for things like tomatoes, herbs, some berries, etc. The people who grew up watching TV in the 2000s may remember ads for the topsy-turvy tomato planter. I can’t vouch for the effectiveness of them, but it may be good inspiration for creative DIY hanging planters.
Many people don’t seem to know this (to be fair, it’s not very intuitive), but small melons and gourds can be grown vertically on a trellis. You will need pantyhose or something else that can act like a sling for when the fruit gets large enough, and you’ll also want to make sure the trellis is very sturdy. Here is an example of a watermelon growing on a trellis, with squash growing in the background:
Other good options that require a bit more DIY are hydroponics towers and walls. It’s basically just a series of pipes with holes for plants to grow out of. The only downside is they will require very regular fertilization and supplementation with other micronutrients that are essential for plant growth, because the plants are typically grown in either a non-nutritious medium like coconut coir or nothing at all.
Planter walls are the next step down, basically just building shelves with pots in them to fill with soil. Put these on a wall that gets good morning sun and some afternoon sunlight for best results. These and hydroponics both also have the advantage of being able to hook up to your gutters so that rainwater will go towards watering your plants rather than just being wasted.
If you want to get really fancy, aquaponics is the next step up. With aquaponics, you create a system that circulates water between plants and a tank full of fish. The fish waste provides fertilizer for the plants, and the plants help filter out the waste so the water stays cleaner. I’ve heard they’re a bit tricky to establish, but once you find the right balance, all you’ll need to do is feed the fish. This has the added bonus of providing a source of fish for people who can’t eat things like nuts and legumes but need protein. Here is a link to an article explaining what aquaponics is, how it works, and how it differs from hydroponics.
WHAT IS AQUAPONICS? What is Aquaponics? Many definitions of aquaponics recognize the ‘ponics’ part of this word for hydroponics which is gro
I also want to add that if you don’t have the space or ability to maintain a large garden, there are other options. Find or create a group with access to enough food to supplement or completely fulfill your diet, and offer another service. If you have space for a vermicompost bin or tower, that can still help contribute to the garden. Learning other skills like soap making, cooking, sewing/knitting/crocheting, electrical skills like wiring and soldering, welding, woodworking/carpentry, etc. means you will still have valuable skills to contribute towards the group, and this will set up the basis for a larger mutual aid network within your community.
Unless you have a huge amount of land, resources, a shitload of free time and a lot of gardening skills, trying to live completely off your own garden within a year is a ridiculous idea.
Most of us can’t do it ever even if we use all our space perfectly. Some of us can do it after years of building those skills, and we might still have bad years. And in the end, what does it get us? Self-reliance is a right-wing preppers dream but it isn’t what we should be aiming for.
If we’re thinking about collective survival and we’re looking at food as part of that survival, there’s two things that work:
Start a community garden. Bring together the resources, time and skills by getting together in a big group.
Or learn to grow a few crops really well and share them with all your friends.
The last one is what I’m going for and it works great. You can chose a few crops that are perfect for your soil, shade/sun conditions, skill level, amount of time, etc. Perfect those crops so you’ll have a huge harvest, and share share share. With a couple of friends doing the same, it’s much easier to get to a point where you’re no longer relying on stores for your fruit and veg.
If you have permanent long term space but limited time? Fruit trees and berry bushes.
If you have a lot of nice soil and can do physically exhausting work? Potatoes, pumpkins, zucchini.
If you have a green house? SOOOO many tomatoes. Fruits that require warmth. etc.
Are you a gardening nerd with time and an interest in learning complicated plants? Take on the challenges like broccoli, cauliflower and depending on your needs, location and options, maybe cannabis? Or build a permaculture garden if that’s your thing.
If you have a balcony or window sill or prefer to do light work in high mobile planters due to limited space or mobility? Leafy greens, herbs, radishes, carrots, maybe a small tomato plant.
Together, we have complementary needs and abilities.
I was talking to a friend last night about how he’s closing down his garden for the winter, what worked this year and what he wants to repeat and try new next. He said squash, cucumber and beans have always worked from seed, they’re easy and good producers if you’re in a 5-8 climate.
Peppers are perennials and we talked about bucket planting for those so you can bring them inside if your winters get cold to overwinter and bring them back out in the spring.
In learning how to garden and grow produce it helps to start small and scale up year to year. Try new varieties and planters and spots in the garden, find ways to allow things to volunteer in the spring (leaving peppers, basil and other plants to cast seeds directly). You’ll learn and grow so much, even if much of it isn’t edible.
Remember to grow flowers too - not just because they are pretty but they will attract pollinators who will help your produce grow too! Sunflowers grow great in the US so don’t sleep on those babes.
I live in a city where we can’t grow produce in the ground due to industrial contamination but we’re experimenting with raised beds. This year’s attempt was a 3 sister mound and we only got a couple handfuls of green beans out of the effort but we learned SO MUCH and those green beans tasted all the sweeter because we watched them grow.
Predictions for Dungeons & Dragons under Hasbro's management in the coming years:
Uma Musume style horsegirls introduced to the Forgotten Realms; setting's lore revised so that they've always been there.
Advancement rules now stipulate per-session XP bonus based on lifetime D&D Beyond purchase history.
Compendium of exclusive feat trees for specific gender and sexual identities. Bisexuality receives no feats of its own, being mechanically implemented as "half gay"; the resulting synergies are disgusting.
Editorial error in revised Dungeon Master's Guide accidentally refers to Dungeon Masters as Hasbro's employees.
"Noble savage" coding of barbarian class walked back, refocused on European folkloric touchstones such as the Ulster Cycle; all barbarian characters become Irish stereotypes.
AI-based DM service trained exclusively on work of Ed Greenwood launched; withdrawn a week later citing "guiderail issues".
Expanded discussion of navigating player expectations frames "not showing up at all" as a valid playstyle.
Dragon-blooded sorcerer subclass revised to state that one of the character's ancestors was "very good friends" with a dragon.
Hasbro has indeed spent the last several years pushing back against dragonfucking jokes so hard that they've gone as far as to revise some of the setting lore to imply that dragons don't even fuck each other, but they haven't yet had the guts to pull the trigger on taking the option of literal dragon ancestry off the table for sorcerers.
(The 5.5E writeup for dragon-blooded sorcerers does list "making a bargain" with a dragon above the actual-ancestry option, though, which is funny as hell. Yeah, I'll bet it was a mutually beneficial exchange!)
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In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.
You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.
#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic
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Text of tweet under the cut because it is loooong.
But... Stochastic Parrots.
Timnit Gebru was fired from Google in December 2020 for refusing to retract a research paper, and every single warning that paper made about large language models has now happened at a scale the industry spent 4 years trying to make people forget about.
Her name is Timnit Gebru.
She co-led the Ethical AI team at Google. She co-wrote a paper called "On the Dangers of Stochastic Parrots" with Emily Bender at the University of Washington and two other researchers. The paper was 14 pages long. It was submitted to a top AI ethics conference. And it was the reason Google decided that one of the most senior Black women in AI research could no longer work there.
The story Google told publicly was that she resigned. The story she told, confirmed by 2,695 of her colleagues in an open letter, was that she was fired by email while on vacation because she refused to either retract the paper or remove her name from it.
The paper had not even been published yet.
Here is what she actually wrote, and why every prediction inside it has now come true.
The first warning was about scale itself. Bender and Gebru argued that training ever-larger models on ever-larger scrapes of the internet would produce systems that appeared fluent but had no actual understanding of language. They called these systems stochastic parrots because they would repeat patterns from training data with statistical confidence and zero comprehension. The paper predicted that this apparent intelligence would fool both users and developers into trusting outputs that were structurally incapable of being reliable.
This was 2020. GPT-3 had just come out. The paper predicted the hallucination problem before anyone had a word for it.
The second warning was about bias amplification. The paper documented in detail that internet-scale training data contains systematic overrepresentation of dominant viewpoints and underrepresentation of marginalized ones. The models would not just absorb this bias. They would amplify it, because the optimization process rewards confident outputs, and confidence in language patterns tracks frequency in the training set.
The prediction was that hiring tools built on these models would discriminate against women. That healthcare triage tools would underperform on Black patients. That loan approval systems would entrench inequality while presenting their decisions as neutral algorithmic judgment.
Every one of those things has now been documented in deployment.
Amazon's hiring algorithm penalized resumes that contained the word "women" in any context. Healthcare risk scoring algorithms used by major US hospitals were found to systematically underestimate the medical needs of Black patients. Apple Card's credit algorithm gave wives credit lines 10x lower than their husbands for the same financial profile.
The third warning was about environmental cost. The paper calculated that training a single large language model produced emissions equivalent to the lifetime output of 5 cars. The prediction was that the race to scale would create an environmental footprint that would eventually rival entire industries.
In 2024, Google's emissions were up 48% from 2019, and the company explicitly blamed AI infrastructure. Microsoft's were up 29%, same reason. Both companies have now quietly abandoned the climate commitments they were publicly celebrating the year Gebru was fired.
The fourth warning was about documentation. The paper argued that the training datasets being assembled were too large for anyone to actually audit. Nobody at Google, OpenAI, Meta, or any other lab could tell you with confidence what was in the data their models were trained on. This was not a temporary problem to be solved later. It was a permanent feature of the approach.
In 2023, researchers discovered that the LAION-5B dataset, used to train Stable Diffusion and other major image models, contained thousands of images of child sexual abuse material. The companies that had trained on the dataset had no way of knowing. The paper predicted that category of failure 3 years before it was found.
The fifth warning was the one Google cared about most.
Bender and Gebru argued that the deployment of these systems would centralize linguistic and cultural power in the hands of the small number of companies that could afford to train them. The internet would become a place where the dominant voice was a statistical average of dominant voices, presented as a neutral assistant. Languages underrepresented in the training data would degrade over time as more web content was generated by these systems and fed back into the next training run.
This is now happening in real time. A 2024 study found that 57% of new web content in English is AI-generated or AI-assisted. Researchers studying low-resource languages have documented active degradation in translation quality, because the synthetic content fed back into training is itself worse in those languages.
The paper Google fired her for predicted the model collapse problem before model collapse had a name.
The mechanism behind why this all happened is the part of her work that nobody quotes.
Gebru's argument was not that AI is dangerous in some abstract sci-fi sense. Her argument was that AI is dangerous in a very specific structural sense. The technology was being built by a small group of researchers who shared similar backgrounds, worked at similar companies, and were rewarded for shipping products faster than competitors. The incentive structure made it impossible for safety, ethics, and bias concerns to slow anything down. Anyone inside the system who raised those concerns was either ignored, sidelined, or removed.
She was making that argument from inside Google.
Then Google proved her right by removing her.
The team Google had built to make sure their AI was safe was dismantled in 90 days because they did the job they had been hired to do. Margaret Mitchell, the other co-lead of the Ethical AI team, was fired two months after Gebru for searching through her own emails for evidence of how Gebru had been treated.
Gebru did not stop. She founded DAIR, the Distributed AI Research Institute, in 2021. The mission is to do AI research outside the control of the companies that have a financial interest in not hearing the answers.
Every prediction in the Stochastic Parrots paper has now been validated by deployment. Hallucinations are an industry-wide problem the largest labs cannot solve. Bias amplification has been documented in hiring, healthcare, lending, and criminal justice. Environmental costs are larger than entire small countries. Training data audits remain impossible. Model collapse is an active research crisis at every major lab.
The question worth sitting with is the one almost no one in the industry will say out loud.
Every researcher with the technical credibility to call out these problems watched what happened to her in December 2020 and made a calculation about their own career. The number of people willing to speak publicly about safety and ethics issues inside the major AI labs collapsed after that firing and has not recovered.
The researcher Google fired for warning about exactly what is now happening was right.
The company that fired her is now the second-largest deployer of the technology she warned about.
And the people inside that company who agree with her are not allowed to say so.