Hello

nothing is funnier than the phrase “biological pronouns”

born with my pronouns engraved on my asscheeks like a birthmark

oh my god I cannot breathe

I literally choked at the end.

i’m in tears rn this is the funniest thing i’ve seen all year

It’s the fire alarm going off at the end that gets me every time.

We call musicals unrealistic because people randomly burst into song but I’ve been home alone for like 3 days and I start singing about what I’m doing every 5 minutes

I read that a ‘illustration of homophobes’ and was so fucking confused until I scrolled back up.

No offense but the point of Broadway and live theater is that it’s a privilege and it’s by no means a right to see live theater.

no offense but the point of theatre in general is to enjoy art and stories that storytellers choose to tell, and by saying this, you are perpetuating elitism in theatre and broadway. theatre in greek and roman times, theatre in shakespearean times, theatre in times before vaudeville and broadway was supposed to accessible to everyone. people were required in ancient greece to see plays performed. the cheapest seats for SHAKESPEARE plays could be afforded by the poorest of the poor. don’t be an asshole to people who want to experience amazing theatre and storytelling but can’t afford it, okay ? let people experience theatre in any way they can

my fucking depression is cured

I don’t mean to be dramatic but I would KILL for this dog

It’s my favorite thing when a lesbian is just like “I got extra fries with my meal, gay rights” or an enby is like “wow trans rights I just got a free gift card to the movies” or a bi dude is like “finally found a plant that won’t die, queer rights I guess.” Like that is the funniest shit I don’t care.

Even better than its negative counterpart, “it’s raining, this is homophobic,” or “real transphobia is that I can’t get past this level.”

A shark mistaking a human for a seal is like a human mistaking an oatmeal raisin cookie for chocolate chip.

With about the same reaction on the shark’s part.

just dropping in to let everyone know there are twice as many tiny roman/tiny cowboy from night at the museum fanfics as there are fanfics for james cameron’s avatar

WHO is going to have a subtextually homoerotic swordfight with me that stems from our major unresolved sexual tension

The World Health Organization is going to do what?!

REBLOG THIS VERSION TOO YOU COWARDS

peter parker in the 2002 movie is fuckin…. incredible. he gets bitten by a fuckin jacked red blue spider and he doesnt say “hey someone should take me to the hospital mayhaps?” he just goes home. then the bite swells to the size of a fuckin jawbreaker but he’s like “nah i just need a nap.” then he wakes up the next day and discovers that he DOESN’T NEED HIS GLASSES ANYMORE and he has a fuckin six pack. does he flip his entire Fuck? no. he says, “cool.” iconic.

2002 peter parker had no health insurance