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@bakdooraccess
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Love a good schrodinger's cat!
Hopefully it makes sense, everything Simon did and accomplished happened, and at the same time this version of Simon exists and because the god(?) never actually looked at this universe and just moved him his mutations and all that blood couldn’t come with
I’m bad at science
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And also I’ve been reading this awesome fic by backdooraccess that’s Bloodymary and it’s so good I got inspired to draw Simon and Grace together… outside of the current angst fest happening.
i’m sorry for talking about wanting a cock in my mouth so much. you can make me shut up with your cock. in my mouth
From Lost In Translation by @quekerahkerah (which is so fun, go read it rn!!!)
The crossover to end all crossovers. Or to save humanity? Idk lock these freaks in their respective boxes
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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if I had a nickel for every mentally ill man I've been obsessed with who has long dark hair and ptsd and a missing arm and was basically used as a killing machine for years and who is deeply and insanely in love with some blond nerd who saved the world and was in a coma for a really long time id have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's making me laugh that there's two of them
scientist ryland + engineer rocky + pilot simon propaganda be upon ye
there are two wolves inside you. One is aroace. The other is madly hot for markiplier
Yes, more bloodymary… this time it’s a scene from where nothing bleeds by interstellarisms
i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it
Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”
Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”
@sineala
#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan
“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”
*prolonged silence* “oh my…”
“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”
*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.
actual footage of first contact makeouts
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)
Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture
Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job
This is my favourite Star Trek post, complete with headcanons, corrections, the truth coming out of her well to shame Spock even. Seriously perfect fandom work.
They could have explained none of it and responded to the offered hand with a polite bow. First contact was gonna be with the guy who proved they were technologically ready for it but any human aware of Japan and China would recognise that
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so! *claps hands together*
Since I'm awake anyway, I thought it would be fun to make a sort of rec list? Never made one before but I love them, so I thought I'd take a crack at it. This will be a double list, Simon/Grace to start and then Grace/Rocky to finish off. I'm a versatile man, I can appreciate all the wonders of how one Ryland Grace gets fucked
Part one! Grace/Simon fics
Some sketches from Olive Branches by bakdooraccess because I'm still living in chapter 9 where everything's good and they're all ok
I’ve seen a couple “Simon assumes Grace will want sex in exchange for his food/shelter/medical care/access to his resources” but I have yet to see a single “Simon goes through with making sexual advances on Grace as a result, which Grace believes are genuine and responds to in kind, resulting in Simon being under the impression that this is transactional and Grace being under the impression that this is mutual but purely physical and then Simon starts to realize he misunderstood Grace’s intentions but by then he’s caught feelings and doesn’t want to risk losing these scraps of intimacy he’s managed to steal for himself and Grace meanwhile has had feelings since the early days resulting in tortured mutual pining while fucking until something makes Grace figure out the misunderstanding and he’s horrified at thinking he took advantage of Simon and he’s the one to break things off and Simon doesn’t know how to explain that yeah it maybe did start off that way but he wasn’t upset about it at the time and anyway it didn’t. Stay that way for long, but he can’t say that without feeling like a creep because now he’s realizing that HE was the one taking advantage of GRACE and they stop sleeping together and get pathetic and mopey and angsty about it until Rocky and Adrian like idk lock them in a closet until they talk it out or something.”
And I would just like to say. Please.
I might have to write this when The Butcher and the Lamb is finished
Welcome back, Butcher.
[From Olive Branches by bakdooraccess on ao3]
Remember when I did some cute lil sketches from when everything was ok? Yeah. They're covered in blood now :)
