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Imagine finding out you have 90 minutes to tie up a love story that's developed over thousands of years. You create something beautifully in character and completely on point for the plot. You pay homage to the original writer's legacy in a fitting and poetic way and create an ending that not only shows the depth of two people's love for each other but the wider love they have for the thing that brought them together in the first place.

And then you go online to find the loudest outcry is that everyone hates it and "THEY DIDN'T EVEN KISS!"

Aziraphale and Crowley, who spent over 6000 years learning to love each other and themselves and humanity, straight up don’t exist anymore. The people that exist in their place are barely even husks of who they were.

The writing was so horribly paced, because it’s clear that they smushed 6 episodes together instead of treating this like a feature film instead of a last-ditch effort to get a finale. Jesus was practically inconsequential to the plot. The resolution and debate about free will is harping on things that were wrapped up in previous seasons,. They had so many ideas that went nowhere (the card game and the new book of life that Aziraphale started writing). The lore was inconsistent (if everything was erased, why does the devil still exist?). There’s SO much to talk about

But focusing on the ineffable husbands of it all— the whole point of the characters is that they love humanity because of their centuries of living amongst them. The ‘choice’ they made was the worst possible option, there were a million other ways they could ask for things that actually made sense. The new versions of who they are don’t have the same appreciation for any of it— the food, the books, space, ANYTHING. They exist only as mortals, rendering EVERYTHING that happened in seasons 1 and 2 and outside of the show utterly pointless

It’s possible to tie up everything in 90 minutes. They almost did it. (Not very well, mind you, but it almost worked), and then they went and spoiled it all by doing that thing.

That thing, of course, being ending the series on a wish. Wish-granting is the laziest way to wrap up a story, second only to “and then they woke up.” I know it wasn’t really a wish, and that they were having a dialogue with god, but ultimately it came down to god granting them a request, and to wish for a world without heaven and hell shouldn’t be possible in that universe. It metatextually changes everything, and it’s too easy of a win. Essentially they asked “we wish everything ended happily,” and then didn’t have to solve anything themselves.

#OP talking about “paying homage to the original writer's legacy” made me laugh because like. that's the opposite of what S3 did#S1 already established humans have free will (see Adam picking humanity over fulfilling his destiny)#and I doubt Pratchett would like the idea of nuking the whole entire world because it's imperfect and we might as well start from scratch#the whole point is embracing humanity#“let's make every single person's life as they knew it end without a say in the matter” is not exactly a humanist message about free will

I think it's quite telling that criticism of the finale is often reduced to "just people being mad they didn't kiss"; because I truly believe the only way to enjoy this finale is to not care about Good Omen's narrative and themes beyond Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship.

Because on a surface level reading of the plot, if you're seeing Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship as the sole focus of the series, the finale is fine. They get to spend their life together in another universe, falling in love and growing old without having to hide their feelings for one another.

(And there is a point to be made—like prev does—about how those aren't the real Crowley and Aziraphale, because everything that made them who they were—their memories and their experiences—was lost. And I agree with that analysis, but it's beyond the point I'm trying to make here)

However, if you consider what it means for the broader Good Omens universe, the finale is straight up a betrayal of the ideas expressed by Pratchett in the original material. Good Omens has always been a story about larger than life supernatural beings falling in love with humanity, but one in which ordinary people are just as prominently featured as angels and demons. Crowley and Aziraphale are not the true protagonist of the story, humanity is. This is why the story culminates in Adam refusing to take part in the Divine Plan and choosing humanity instead. The S1 ending is both about how humanity is worth preserving and about human agency. No one, on either sides, expected Adam to oppose the divine plan. Because they didn't understand Adam would have agency over his life and what he wanted to do with it. They didn't even consider he could choose humanity.

The S3 finale expresses the exact opposite message. The fate of humanity is not dictated by humanity itself, but rather sealed by a handful of divine beings that treat their lives as an afterthought. Crowley and Aziraphale are incredibly OoC throughout the whole fianle, but their final wish to god is particularly aggravating. The original material expressed several times that the idea of giving up on people and create "new ones" is not an option, so the idea of the two of them suddenly deciding it's the right thing to do is extremely poor writing. It's justified as a way to give humans "free will", but it was already established in S1 that they did, so that doesn't even hold up. And I know that them asking to just bring everyone back would have been (rightfully) criticized as bad writing, but the solution here would have been to just.. not write themselves into a corner in the first place.

I distanced myself from the Good Omens fandom lately, and i’m sure this is not a surprise to many of you reading this post. i want to be very clear: neil gaiman had a lot to do with it. I didn’t want to show my support for a show made by an abuser. And yes, i see and hear people claiming Good Omens belonged to the people and the fans, but realistically the rights and royalties belong to ng, and participating in the promotion of it all just felt wrong to me. So, my choice was to love my favorite characters of all time from afar, and for free: reading and writing and engaging with fanworks.

That being said: I really fucking hated the fuckass movie. I wish i didn’t see it, i wish the show stopped at season 1, and if you liked it, good for you. I did not, and I want to tell you why. Feel free to ignore me.

Is that a hole in your plot?

The writing was bad. Content aside, what I wanted for this characters aside, my feelings on ng and the other writers begrudgingly aside, it was a badly written piece of television. I counted too many plot holes in the first thirty minutes aside, but i will point out what felt the biggest to me.

The opening flashback: it was hot, and that was it. Where does it fit in the timeline we already know about? It doesn’t fit with their first meeting as angels, nor with their first meeting on the wall. Why keep rewriting the first time they met? We already know how they met, twice, and besides the sexual tension, what did this new flashback bring to the story? Arguably, nothing; another case of bad wigs, maybe, nothing more. Perhaps, another instance of contradicting the book and the first ever episode: “it starts, as it will end, with a garden.” Well, apparently not.

Skipping all that nonsense in the middle (Aziraphale leaving crowley in the alley? Jesus having two lines after being promoted as the main focus of the season? The book of life burning not immediately snapping aziraphale and crowley away? Crowley having no reaction to Aziraphale confessing undying devotion to him?) let’s get to the very end. The decision the main characters come to is to erase themselves and all traces of their universe to create a new, fresh universe where angels and demons do not exist, and free will reigns above all. Two minutes after, the movie presents us two human versions of said characters meeting again, 13 something billion of years later, falling in love and all that good stuff. What we are supposed to take away from this is: they were destined to meet and fall in love in every universe, no matter the circumstances. Where is the free will in a soulmate trope? Where is the free will in this condoning of predeterminism? If they were meant to be, then free will isn’t ruling this universe. Fate is. Was it all for nothing then?

Who are these characters?

The characters fell flat. The side characters were useless at best, annoying at worst. Michael going rogue was predictable, Jesus was a nothingburger, the entire Whickber Street ensemble was just… not relevant. And the main characters were subjected to the worst character assasination my eyes have ever seen. The worst of it? That entire scene with God and Satan: Crowley never once looking at Aziraphale, not even at the most heartwrenching confession; Aziraphale talking about Crowley being amazing in the past tense; Crowley choosing something that’s not Aziraphale, after his whole entire monologue and character arc in season 2; Aziraphale accepting complete erasure after fighting 3 years in heaven against it, just because lobotomized Crowley wanted it. What the fuck?

Also, Asa and Anthony. They were cute. Adorable, really. Two cute old men (with bad hair, but i’m willing to move past this) falling in love and getting married. Cute cute cute. Who the fuck were they? They were not Aziraphale and Crowley: they were an English librarian and a Scottish professor, not the angel and demon I loved and yearned and was obsessed with for years. And again, if it were them, why weren’t they recognizable at all? In all the human AUs i enjoyed the characters were perfectly recognizable: Crowley was still moody and a bit rough around the edges, yet soft and almost overwhelming in his loveliness; Aziraphale was still witty and smart and a bit (or a lot) of a snob, yet kind and warm and loving to a fault. These two human beings were cute, but they weren’t them. Who are these characters?

The winner takes it all, the loser has to fall

The loser, in this case, being queer people everywhere. Put your daggers down and let me tell you this: it is not acephobic to think a kiss was needed in this finale.

You’re right when you say that physicality is not needed to show love and connection; in this case, however, physicality between them was already a given – they already kissed. Out of desperation, out of despair, out of sadness, but they kissed. They crossed that bridge and their relationship jumped to the other side of strictly platonic and now, for a simple rule of balance and equity in pieces of media, the ‘ugly kiss’ desperately (pardon the repetition) needed a ‘good kiss’. The finger thing could have been cute, but it lacked the depth and emotional weight to carry the conclusion of a third act.

If that was all the goobye we are going to get, it is simply not enough: they wrapped up 6000 years of history (a history they previously spend two seasons fighting tooth and nail to not erase, mind you) with a finger kiss and an awkward smile. Am i supposed to say it was good?

Also, implying that people wanted some physical intimacy between two queer characters (after it was already established) just to satisfy some sort of fetish is too disrespectful to even comment about.

A straight couple would have gotten a teary goodbye, an explicit I love you and a kiss before turning to dust. The gays get buried — or erased from existence, in this case.

Human incarnate, or the lack of it

All in all, the finale felt cheap, flat, soulless. A comedy desperately grasping onto the physycality of it but not really committing to the bit, a love story relying on the chemistry between the mains without letting them have a single meaningful conversation, a show about humanity reducing human beings to comedic reliefs, over-the-top antagonists and afterthoughts easy to erase with a snap of two fingers.

And no, no one got a second chance: Adam rewrote the universe for nothing, Aziraphale tried to fix Heaven for nothing, Crowley asked questions for nothing. It was all erased anyway, and the ones who get to live simply aren’t them. Some version of them that was paradoxically destined to meet, going against the free will they gave up everything for.

Good Omens was always about knowing your fate, and choosing your own anyway. Loving despite, loving because of, loving even if. The love between to immortal beings being what kept everything together. The characters I knew and loved would have kept choosing each other and their world, not another new one, despite everything, because of history, and even if it was the hardest thing.

They loved their world, their Earth, and deserved to live in it. On their own side. Just the two of them.

So I really didn’t like the movie, and the message it sent. I did not find it bittersweet, just bleak. And this is why.

Going forward, I’ll finish every fic I started. After, I don’t know. It may take me a while.

I know we only had 1 episode and whole plotlines were scrapped but I was just left feeling so empty after the finale given how powerful and moving and profound the themes of season 1/the book were. So buckle up for a long ride let's talk about it

Theme 1: Human Incarnate

The book and the show established that humanity is unique because it is neither purely good or purely bad. From the book: "Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people." This Aziraphale describes as "much better" than either Heaven or Hell

This is one of my favorite sequences in the whole show. And the music is soaring and gorgeous. Adam recalls the things in his life he has come to know and love; his parents, his friends, his dog, his home. He makes it have nice weather all year. Aziraphale could feel that love at the Tadfield Manor. Heaven and Hell tried to create an instrument of destruction. But by putting that inside a human boy, they didn't realize the strength of one boy's love would be strong enough to literally burn the hell out of him. He told Satan himself to shove it and rewrote reality to have the dad he truly loved. The power of humanity's love is stronger than any immortal power could ever be.

This is the idea that would have been so cool for the finale but unfortunately never paid off. As the second coming prepares to destroy Earth again, Aziraphale and Crowley could have teamed up with the power of humanity to reshape heaven and hell for good. Adam and Jesus as the antichrist and christ born to end the world and instead used their humanity to save it. Instead we got the book-of-life arc and humans were literally left to dust

Theme 2: Free Will

Next good omens establishes that angels and demons are just puppets but humans are the ones with real free will because they have the ability to be good or bad. Even with heaven and hell, the humans on Earth always have a choice. In season 2, they agree on this, but Crowley's main grievance is the inequity of it all. Humans have free will but it still isn't fair.

God made angels and demons and humans but the humans never had to follow her 'plan.' Free will and the ability to recognize what is truly right outside the propaganda of good vs evil is what saves the world.

Humans always had free will, even if God was around to kill a bunch of them with floods or take their stuff to win bets or something. Creating a new universe without God wouldn't change that. They would still have free will, just less threats from above/below, I guess. What Crowley's established character really should have wanted here was to fix the inequity inherent in human society. That's what is truly holding them back, not a lack of will. Removing God from the universe doesn't actually solve the root problem here

Theme 3: Our Own Side

This is something Crowley learned very early and spends the whole show trying to teach Aziraphale. That good must be separated from heaven and bad must be separated from hell.

Heaven can do some truly appalling horrors and demons, at least Crowley (and somewhat Beelzebub I guess) have the potential to be kind. 'Their own side' is one where they have the freedom of humanity, to do what is truly right. Aziraphale and Crowley sort of found their way there in the finale, but it was all rushed and Aziraphale never really turned his back on heaven, it sort of just became irrelevant when everything started disappearing. What a beautifully flawed and nice world they could have created together

Theme 4: Love Conquers all

What was it all for? Love. God made Aziraphale and Crowley for each other because she liked to smile at the silliness of their love. The literal only constant in the entire universe. Their love for the world and each other saved it. I think the decision to turn Aziraphale and Crowley's queer love story into a tragedy was the biggest mistake of seasons 2/3. Forcing the soft and romantic comedy of good omens into a queer tragedy was the instant it all crashed and burned. Now everything is tainted leading up to the pain and destruction of it all and the whimsy and lightness is gone. There were moments of it, but it was all leading toward the end. And queer love deserves to not be a tragedy. We have far too much tragic queer love in our society. Yes we got the south downs, but Aziraphale and Crowley never got to experience that freedom. They finally came together just to instantly be destroyed. We deserve happy and fulfilling queer love that is sweet without the bitter parts. Good omens was intended to be a comedy, not a tragedy

And then this was SUCH A COOL IDEA they introduced. Perhaps the first time ever an angel and a demon performed a miracle together. The power of their love could create magic stronger than anything heaven or hell had ever seen. I was so excited to see the wonders they were going to create, they ways in which they could have rebuilt the world better using that love. If they had this kind of power doing a tiny miracle, what could they have accomplished if they really put their minds to it? God herself couldn't have stopped them. And instead, the finale literally revoked Crowley's magic for the entire episode. They sacrifice themselves for a new earth and people that didn’t even exist yet instead of using any of their power to change it. The god awful execution of this theme is probably the biggest letdown of the entire finale imo

Theme 5: Fix It, Don't Replace It

This is so obviously established in seasons 1/2 I cannot believe how badly they missed the mark with this one

Literally shows us the horror of replacing the Earth with all new people. Even children can recognize that just because something is broken, it doesn't mean you throw it away and start all over. They loved the world enough to want to save it. The world is inherently worth saving, flaws and all. If you love something, you don't abandon it. The ENTIRE PLOT of season 1 explores the horrors of humanity and yet humans, Aziraphale and Crowley do everything in their power to save it.

It absolutely blows my mind how directly this scene contradicts the entire message of the finale. Job didn't want new children, he quite liked the old ones. Aziraphale and Crowley didn't want the antichrist's new Earth, they quite liked the old one. We didn't want new human versions of Aziraphale and Crowley, we QUITE LIKED THE OLD ONES. Where the hell did that mentality go when they told God to create an entirely new universe????????????? Season 1 said the world is flawed but it deserves saving exactly as it is. Season 1 said an angel and a demon go off to the ritz together, exactly as they are. The finale said the world is too broken, we have to make it disappear and start over. The finale said Aziraphale and Crowley have too many issues/traumas to be happy, we have to destroy them and start over. That's why as cute as Asa and Anthony's love is, we quite liked them exactly as they were, angel/demon trauma + history and all. They deserved saving too.

"Oh yes, Professor Crowley, I have just the book for you. 🤭"

After everything they'd gone through together, all their history, their love spanning 6000 years, they literally vanished into dust.

Their "human versions" are not them. They met each other in their 50s? 60s? and will get like 30 or so years together.

No sticking together for centuries despite being from opposite factions in an eternal conflict, no developing their rivalry, friendship, and eventually love throughout the ages, no having each other's back despite the dangers of doing so, no bickering, no rescuing each other, no "you go too fast for me, Crowley", no 'our' Bentley, no "angel" as a pet name, NO THEM. At all.

Please keep writing.

Please keep drawing.

Please keep creating and nurturing our community.

Don't let this be the end.

Crowley and Aziraphale didn’t deserve the “Season 3” Good Omens Finale. Neither did the world. The duo finds a way through the Garden and Book of Life to a happy ending.

May it bring comfort to the afflicted.

(Or, an in-character fix-it in less than 2,000 words; canon-compliant until 01:26:00 of S3.)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/84808871

———

“Did I say the wrong thing,” Crowley asked, utterly wrung out.

“No,” Aziraphale said gently. “You’re you. I don’t think you can say, or do, the wrong thing. And we don’t have much to work with,” he added. “One God, one Satan, one bookshop, and the two of us… and no more eternity." Aziraphale leveled his gaze.

This summer will be the same as the last one: me under a train for those dumbasses

how do you like them apples?

Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley (Rated E, 4.9K)

Aziraphale has the gall to laugh between all those maddening groans of his, kicking his hips forward pointedly, his index finger twirling around a lock of Crowley’s hair. “Darling, please.” “Working on it,” Crowley growls. Buttons have become the bane of his existence in their retirement. Trousers. Waistcoats. Various collared shirts, fastenings running down the front and taunting him from their snug place at the wrist. Tortoiseshell, mother-of-pearl, fabric-covered—all of them are Crowley's arch nemeses. Aziraphale would probably don undergarments with a hundred fussy little buttons if he could get away with it, like… like some kind of chastity belt designed specifically to fuck with Crowley's welfare. The final button successfully freed, Crowley practically hoots with triumph. That's when something hits him square on the crown of his head, bouncing off to land on the ground next to him—an apple, glossy and red.

Aziraphale and Crowley adjust to a new arrival at their cottage.

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Features: meddlesome buttons, an even more meddlesome apple tree, Crowley getting manhandled (funny), and Crowley getting manhandled (sexy).

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🍎 a gift for @carry-the-sky as part of the nice & accurate atelier discord server holiday exchange 🍎

🌳 thank you to @eefaevie and @gingiekittycat for beta reading 🌳