#our side

Or does Crowley just say it for Shax’s benefit. Not a demon anymore as in holy water can’t hurt me. (“He isn’t one of us anymore”)

Crowley doesn’t want to be a demon right? He never wanted to be. Does he just choose not to be? Like the same way he chose a new name?

He isn’t one of the bad guys. He didn’t want to be before, but he had to pretend at least (“I go along with hell as far as I can”). Now he just is his own thing. Not a demon. Not an angel. Crowley.

Was Aziraphale happy to have Armageddon coming? No. They tried to influence the Antichrist. But had the wrong boy. Then they tried to think of how to find the real one and in that short time - what? Kill him? Talk to him? They had no idea what the kid is like (WE DID). What powers he has, what worldviews. What personality.

The Great Plan. It is coming to its fulfilment. It is written. The War is about to begin. Heaven and Hell. The big one. They both know this. It's not something they can just stop believing in. They had their Arrangement, their side (sort of), and they managed not to get caught. But now? Now Aziraphale is right here. There is no OUR SIDE, NOT ANYMORE. There might have been a moment in their existence on Earth (about 12 hundred years?) when they could feel like/pretend they are having their own side. That it does not matter whether they are an angel or a demon. But now the full reality of their existence is back. What there is, is Heaven and Hell and they are preparing for War. They have no interest in Earth. Aziraphale and Crowley are tiny pawns in a very big picture. They both belong to their respective sides. They always have. Even when they found ways to work together. (Mostly cos their sides are conceited bunch of idiots, both.)

And so Aziraphale decided for one more desperate attempt to get God to see how the whole thing can be avoided. After all, so did Crowley. He too tried to talk to her. Does Aziraphale think She might understand? We don't know. Does he look full of hope as he walks back to his shop? He doesn't.

He gets broken up with again by Crowley who nonsensically (and yes, romantically, sure) wants to go to another star - to do what? Wait till the end of universe reaches them? (Why is everybody always defending Crowley? And act like he's being reasonable there? And blame Aziraphale for hurting him?) And then Aziraphale gets punched in the stomach. By a fellow angel. And told by Metatron to not be a bloody fool and report for service as the good angel he surely is.

And he gets discorporated. Which looks like it really sucks.

And then he DESERTS the War AND Heaven (that he apparently still has faith in etc etc...) and goes on a limb to find the boy and just see if he can come up with something. Anything. Thinking Crowley is gone. Packed his stuff and left.

Because Aziraphale feels the War and ending of the world is an injustice. Written or not. Great Plan or not. Maybe he didn't think at first he could make any difference but Crowley showed him it's worth considering it. Crowley is always showing Aziraphale that things can be questioned. Whether they can be changed is up in the air, but questioned, sure. It didn't take Aziraphale long at all to reconsider letting things just play out as they were written, and instead fight to the last breath he doesn't need, for Earth instead. The conditioning he needs to fight isn't that Heaven is good and right. The conditioning he needs to fight is that things can't be changed. That it is all written out. That he is a nobody and can't influence anything. Aziraphale's biggest fight and learning curve is in having faith in himself. So. Much like he felt it was unfair to leave the first humans unprotected and how he felt killing Job's kids was cruel, he disobeys and does his own thing again. He learns he can. But all this comes at a cost. To himself (thinking he will Fall for these things) but also to his beloved - and THAT is much harder for him. He would never want to put Crowley in danger. And he does. Every time they meet. The guilt he must feel for this.

Aziraphale lives between two sides. And they are both awful. And he is often misunderstood for just acknowledging this as reality he and everything else exists in.

I think his view of his reality is pretty accurate. There is no our side. They wanted one. But they can't leave their sides. Even after S1 they couldn't. Not really. And they both knew it. They were still afraid, still on edge. And no, he is not in clutches of Heaven or sometimes reverts to their indoctrination or anything like that. He goes along with Heaven as far as he MUST. And SO DOES CROWLEY. Aziraphale's life alongside his demon, however tentative, was always precious to him. But.

Crowley who showed him how to keep questioning things, try to make them better, didn't see it his way and left.

Aziraphale has to do the best he can and just do something. Anything. He can not just do nothing. He can not, not try and run. Or hide. Or wait some more. Crowley showed him that things can be different and Aziraphale had to do everything to try and make it better. And he will. And Crowley will help. He always does.

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Slow Dancing, Romantic Fluff, they are alive, Idiots in Love, Post-Canon Fix-It, im trying to help, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens) Summary:

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