¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

I disrespect the grind tbh

sex position: you, sitting on your throne. me, standing behind you, resting my arm on the back of your throne and sniling so sneetly at your ministers like i have any right to be there

so who’s ready for loser queer summer

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

"codify" is such a fun word. lawmakers! turn this into a fish

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

"scroll back up!" and it's a painting which you clocked as a painting immediately

scroll 📜 back up! 🆙☝️ there's onion 🧅 and garlic 🧄 in the car seat 🚗💺

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

i want you on my team holy shit