Eliza Vance

(💝 = fluff, ❤️‍🔥 = spicy (levels vary, read CW), ❤️‍🩹 = angst)

Series:

We'll Try Again (Noah Sebastian): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

When I Wake Up (guitarist!Noah x rockstar!reader) (collab fic with @/r3prise): TBA

One-shots:

Camera Roll (Noah wants to film something on his new camera) 💝❤️‍🔥

Bridge Proposal (nervous boyfriend!Noah attempts to propose) (TBA) 💝

An Angel Once, Now A Ghost Of You (Church outcast!Noah x Good Girl Gone Bad!reader) (TBA/may become series) ❤️‍🩹 ❤️‍🔥

Hey yal, just wanted to make a fanfic appreciation post for all the talented authors on here, you guys have inspired me to get back into writing & reading and I love seeing yal pop up on my feed <3

(warning: some fics are fluffy, some are angsty, and some/most are spicy, so please make sure to check the content warnings!)

@runningincircl3s: Hedonist (mechanic!Noah) [WIP] Velvet (sugar daddy!Noah) [WIP] Post-show sex with Noah [one-shot]

@concretejunglefm: Don't kill me Mr. Ghostface (Noah x reader x Ruffilo) [one-shot] Dealer!Noah (need this to be a series fr) [one-shot] Poltergeists [series] (still reading this one rn but it's soooo good) Mutual Mast. (bestfriend!Noah, this is part 1 but there are 4 total parts) [thot series]

@r3prise: The Psychological Experiment [series] Sanctify Me [not yet posted but this is the prologue, I'm so fkn excited for it] My Strange Addiction [one-shot]

@nefugus: Bestfriend!Folio [one-shot] Phone sex [one-shot] Kitten!reader x BO guys [thots, but there are other one-shots to the series]

@ami-gami: That's My Spot (Noah) [one-shot] Relax For Me (Noah x reader on period) [one-shot] Sweet Thing (Jolly x virgin!reader) [one-shot] (I'M SO OBSESSED WITH THIS ONE, THIS ONE LOW-KEY CONVERTED ME INTO A JOLLY GIRLIE) The Way You Taste (Folio) [one-shot]

Other one-shots/series: Worth The Wait - @justmynotebook Once I've Sunk My Teeth In [WIP, this is part 1]- @fanginghorror Stressed Out - @takeme1st

This list will grow as time goes on and I discover more of yal or remember more fics I've previously read, but these are some of the more recent ones I've come across that I fell in love with! Love yal and this community so freaking much, keep up the writing and never stop driving this place mad with your words <3

Camera Roll

Summary: You buy Noah a new camera and he wants to try it out... CW: Light smut (unprotected p in v), nothing graphically detailed Word count: 1.7k A.N.: Hey y'all! I was inspired by @badomensspecter's camera one-shot to write this one. I had initially planned to make this longer and make it go a little dark and kinda sad and be really tragic and shit (almost had some leaked sex tape drama), but since I started it super sweet and this is my first time writing and publishing smut, I figured I'd stop while I was ahead and give y'all a (hopefully) feel-good baby one-shot. (I apologize if it seems as though I stole this idea, I promise this was not the intention given the initial plot I had for this. I have respect for the author of the fic that inspired this one would never steal another author's idea.) Enjoyyyyyy <3

"Put the camera away!"

You laughed as you swatted Noah's camera away from your face, your cheeks tinted red and your eyes shut.

"Oh c'mon, don't be shy. You look so pretty on camera."

He leaned forward in the bed, partially hovering over you now. You drew the blanket up over your head, laughing from beneath the beige sheets.

"I don't even have any make-up on and my hair is a mess," you said, your voice so muffled that the camera probably didn't catch it.

"Don't give me that bullshit," Noah said. "You know damn well you're gorgeous without any of that crap."

You smiled, not that he could see, but you knew that he could tell you were getting closer to giving in.

Noah gripped the edge of the sheets and pulled them off of you in one swift motion, revealing not only your face but your entire body to the camera. You weren't naked, rather wearing a white silk robe with matching lingerie beneath, but you couldn't help but feel exposed to the lens in your boyfriend's hands. You quickly threw your hands over your face, laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of Noah wanting to record you so badly.

"There she is, my beautiful girlfriend," he said, the widest smile playing across his lips. "C'mon babe, I know you're smiling more than I am right now. Let me see it."

His hand came in frame as he reached for you, his fingers caressing your side before going into attack mode, tickling you until you started squirming.

"Oh my gosh, you are not playing fair!" you squealed, your hands moving to try and push his away.

His large hand captured your two small ones mid-defense, quickly pinning them above your head. "I win," he said smugly, making you roll your eyes.

You stared right into the camera as you attempted to catch your breath. "Hello little camera that I regret buying for my little boyfriend." You looked at him next. "Satisfied?"

"Little boyfriend?" He raised an eyebrow, giving your hands a quick squeeze. "Little?"

"Well I mean, you're acting like a little kid who just got a new toy on Christmas. So yes, little."

Noah drew his eyes away from you and looked into the camera lens, smirking. "Man, you should see how good you look like this. Such a beautiful sight." He leaned back on his knees, fully capturing you sprawled out beneath him, arms still above your head and your robe now opened, showing your lingerie set.

The sight of him filming you like this made your body feel weak beneath him. You couldn't tell if it was shyness still or something else entirely, but it was starting to make you feel good. Excited, even.

Your eyes dropped to his lower half, where only boxers and the edge of his shirt acted to hide the thoughts you knew were growing in his mind. "You know I'm not one to assume, but I'm starting to think you're getting some ideas."

He scoffed, trying poorly to act innocent now. "What? What gave you that idea?"

You smirked, slowly bending your knees and planting your feet on the mattress. "I don't know, perhaps a hunch."

Noah cursed under his breath, he knew what you were doing now, and it made him shift to fix his boxers. "You know, I didn't intend to do this, I just wanted to get some cute videos before we went to bed," he said, letting go of your hands and getting off of the bed. "But you look so fucking hot tonight, it'd be a shame not to document this."

You sat up now, propping yourself onto your elbows. "My first ever sex tape, I hope I'm dressed well for the occasion," you joked, eyeing the camera as Noah placed it onto the dresser across the room.

Noah just laughed, shaking his head as he climbed onto the bed and hovered over you. "You are something else, you know that?"

You smirked, but before you could say anything, Noah leaned down and kissed you. The kiss was slow to start, allowing him to melt perfectly into you as you relaxed beneath him. But the moment he felt your hands pulling his shirt off of him, the gentleness became desperation in seconds.

Noah pushed the robe off of your shoulders, and you assisted each other in removing your undergarments. Bare against one another now, your lips connected once more, this time moving in a desperate rhythm. Your one hand snaked into his hair, the strands sliding between your fingers, while your other hand worked to gently scratch his back.

He groaned at the contact, knowing that teasing action you did when you wanted him to let go. He pulled away from your lips, now pressing desperate kisses to your collarbone, then up your neck, then to that spot beneath your ear that always made your head spin.

"I know what you're doing," he whispered into your ear before gently biting your earlobe.

You bit your lip at the small but pleasurable sting. "And it seems to be working," you whispered back, adding more pressure to your scratches. The hand in his hair gently pulled at his locks, and by the small noise that escaped his throat at that, you knew you had him right where you wanted him.

"I was trying to be gentle," he whispered again, his hot breath sending goosebumps up your neck.

You let out a soft chuckle. "Really? You were going to get all soft and gentle for your video? There's a world of opportunities and you picked the safest bet?"

He pulled back to look at you. "You're making this hard, you know."

"Oh, I can tell," you said, rocking your hips against him to spur a reaction.

"That's not what I meant." He rocked back against you, the harder action causing you to gasp.

"C'mon Noah, I want you to give it your all. Go crazy. Make me regret teasing you about this."

You could tell by the look in his eyes that your words were getting him worked up, and it didn't take long for him to finally give in to the teasing.

He leaned down to whisper to you again. "Fine, you want crazy? I'll give you crazy. But when you can't walk tomorrow, remember that you did this to yourself."

You smirked. "Bring it on."

Noah looked back at the camera on the dresser. "Just to set the record straight, she asked for this. Live proof right here."

Your hand pulled his head back down to yours, and before you knew it, your lips were locked again, and your bodies were further intertwined.

Your fingers tightened in his hair when he inserted himself, the initial sting making you wince. But once he fell into a steady rhythm, your head fell back against the pillow as the waves of pleasure washed over you. Your lips parted as small soft moans slipped out, your eyes falling shut. "Faster, faster," you said lowly, barely above a whisper.

Noah instead slowed, speaking directly into your ear. "You're gonna need to say that a little louder."

You groaned. "Go faster, dammit."

Noah clicked his tongue. "That's not very respectful for someone who's at my mercy right now." To prove his point, he slowed further, almost no motion coming from him.

"Asshole," you whispered.

"Please is just one word," he whispered back.

You sighed. "Please, go faster."

"That's better."

With that, he picked the pace back up again, and before you knew it, you could feel the mattress shaking beneath you, the bedframe gently rattling.

You opened your eyes to see the camera again, locking hazy eyes onto it as you felt more waves wash over you, the pleasure building up faster and faster. There was something about recording this that seemed to turn you on more by the second, and by the way Noah was moving above you, you could tell it did something to him too.

"Almost there," you breathed, your mind beginning to spin as you felt yourself reaching your peak.

"Me too," he whispered, his movements falling into an unsteady, desperate rhythm now.

You felt his hand slide between your thighs, providing the last bits of pleasure you needed to drive you over the edge. With your hands gripping his shoulders, you felt your body finally let go, sending your mind into a full haze as you cried out in pleasure. The waves that washed over you made your back arched beneath him and your hips buck upward, chasing every ounce of your high that you could before you had to come down.

It wasn't long before Noah followed your actions, letting out a low guttral noise as he stilled and buried his face into your neck. The last of the aftershocks left your bodies as you became limp against each other, your fingers now gently combing through his hair. He leaned up just enough to plant soft kisses to your neck and the shell of your ear, his whispers unintelligible at first until he finally collected himself.

"Incredible, so fucking incredible. I never expect anything less from you," he said, a lazy smile spreading across his lips. "So fucking beautiful, I love you so much."

"You were incredible too. You always are," you whispered back. When you finally opened your eyes again, you gave the camera one last sex-drunk glare. "First ever sex tape, completed."

Noah lifted his head and looked back, shaking his head at your comment. "I forgot that damn thing was still on."

"Oh, so you weren't doing and saying all that for the camera?" you teased.

Noah glared at you. "I'm too worn out for any more teasing from you tonight," he said, rolling off of you and pulling you against his chest. He rested his chin on your head, sighing as his arms tightened around you.

"Aren't you going to turn it off?" you asked, though really you weren't ready for him to get up yet.

He shook his head, pulling you closer. "When we get up, I will. But I'm not moving just yet."

You smiled at that, tucking yourself further against him. You let out a content sigh, the comfort of the moment allowing you to close your eyes just for a second and bask in it.

We'll Try Again: A Bad Omens Fanfic (Part 2)

CW: none apart from mild explicit language Word count: 2.5k A.N.: Hey y'all, Hannah V. again. I know at some point I gotta write a summary for this series, but I honestly don't know how to describe it right now. I don't even know how this is going to end lol. Enjoy nonetheless <3 (Divider was made by me btw, if y'all wanna use it for your own fics, please tag me. Thank uuuu <3 ) Masterlist

"So," Leah began, pacing circles in your living room, "you wanna tell me where you were last night?"

"You wanna stop interrogating me like I broke the law?" you bit back.

She shook her head. "You said you were 15 minutes out, 15 minutes came and you didn't show up, so I thought 'oh, maybe she got stuck in traffic, she'll be here at any minute!' And you know what happened?"

"Leah, can we not-"

"I stood outside the club for half an hour and you never showed up. You didn't answer my calls, you didn't read my texts, you completely ghosted me!"

You sighed, leaning back and sinking lower into the couch. "Who needs dating when I have a best friend who acts like a possessive boyfriend?"

She stared at you so intensely she could have burned a hole through you. "I'm just trying to figure out what happened, okay? We had plans, you were going to finally get out of the house, and then you disappeared."

You toyed with the drawstrings of your hoodie, the one you stole from Noah only weeks before you broke up. You didn't tell Leah it was his, much like you didn't tell her you still wore the necklace he bought you.

"I went to get coffee," you said. "I wasn't feeling too good on the way there and needed to go home. Figured I'd at least get a coffee first beforehand."

Leah sighed. "Y/N, I swear you gotta get better at communication. You had me worried sick." She sat down beside you on the couch.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." Your phone buzzed suddenly, a call coming through. You picked it up and groaned. "I'm sorry, I gotta take this. It's my mom."

Leah stood up. "No need to be sorry, I got somewhere to be too. I'll talk to you later?"

You nodded as you answered the phone, stepping into the next room while Leah left.

"Hey mom, what's up?"

Your heard your mom talking to someone else on the other end. She didn't hear you pick up.

"Mom." Silence again. "Hello? Mom!"

You heard her gasp and excuse herself to the person she was talking to. "Y/N, hi, I am so sorry, I didn't realize you picked up."

Of course you didn't.

"It's fine, mom. What's up?"

She cleared her throat. "I was just calling to let you know that your dad was doing alright. He's been discharged and is on bed rest for the next few days, but the doctors said that he was going to be alright."

You nodded along to her words. Your dad had been diagnosed with MS a couple months earlier, finally giving your family an answer to his rapidly declining motor skills. Last time you spoke to your mom about him, he had taken a bad fall and had to be rushed to the hospital.

"I'm glad to hear he's doing fine," you said, plopping down on your bed with a soft thud.

"Yeah," your mom quickly said. "Anyway, how have you been? Did you get that job you were telling me about?"

"Yeah, they hired me about a week ago. It's been bliss. I'll never work an in-person job again."

"And have you met anyone new?"

You rolled your eyes, grateful she wasn't there to see. "Not yet, mom. I promise, you'll be the first to know when I do. I'm just focused on this new job right now."

You heard distant voices from the other end of your phone, a sudden conversation your mom started to participate in. You started to wonder why she called you to begin with.

"Okay, bye mom. Say hi to dad for me."

Silence. As always.

"I'm hanging up now." Distant chatter. "Going to go now." Outside conversation. "Why do I even bother?"

You hung up without another attempt at saying goodbye. You never had the best relationship with your family. But you'd hoped that now that you were older, an active self-efficent adult with a more than decent life, that it'd be easier to get along with them. Unfortunately, you couldn't have been more wrong.

The moment you pulled your phone away from your ear, you received an email from Ticketmaster.

Shit, the concert.

The concert you almost completely forgot you bought tickets for.

Your ex-boyfriend's band's concert.

You looked at the time, then checked when the show started. You cursed when you realized you didn't have much time to get ready and get there with time to park, find your seat, or anything else. Quickly, you put together an outfit worthy of a metal show, did your make-up and hair, grabbed something to eat on the way, and rushed out the door. You still hadn't figured out why you chose to go to this concert, why it was going to be worth reopening the wound and undoing 3 years of healing, why any of this seemed like a good idea. But alas, you were committed, and unless Leah somehow found out what you were doing, nothing was going to stop you.

"Hi!" you squeaked when you first met Noah. You had bought VIP meet & greet tickets with your best friend at the time, Rachel. You had hoped to have more confidence finally standing face to face with the man you'd been following on social media for years, watched every Twitch stream, and even got noticed in the chat by him once or twice.

Noah put his hand out for yours to shake. "Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Noah. I mean, obviously, you know that." It was cute, how nervous he was to talk to you. You had figured he was pretty shy, you'd seen enough interviews on YouTube of him stuttering and fumbling over words at these things.

"I'm Y/N, and this is my friend Rachel. Your set was incredible, one of my favorites I've seen from you guys by far."

"Favorites? This ain't your first time coming out to see us?"

You shook your head. "I've seen you guys about 2 or 3 other times before tonight? I know one of the sets was for a festival, I'm forgetting which one."

Warped Tour. You didn't forget that, but you didn't want to sound too crazy to Noah right off the bat.

He nodded, smiling at that. "Well, I appreciate you coming out to see us so many times. The support means a lot."

You could have stood there forever talking to him, he made it feel so easy to do so. But when the line behind you started to grow, you knew your time was up. Or so you thought.

You and Rachel didn't get very far before a hand tapped your shoulder. You turned back to see one of the band's crew mates.

"Y/N, right?" he asked, smiling a bit.

You nodded, confused.

"Noah wanted me to catch you before you got too far. He wants to talk to you when this wraps up, assuming you don't have anywhere to be."

You never shook your head faster. "Oh, no, don't have anywhere else to be at all. I'm all yours, Noah's, I mean."

He laughed at your excitement. "Alright, if you don't mind following me, he wanted you to wait with the band so you didn't get lost in the crowd of people over here."

You followed him away from the crowd, away from Rachel while she headed to the car to wait for you. You kept pinching yourself, this didn't feel real. Noah Sebastian, the lead singer of your favorite band, wanted to talk to you? He wanted you to wait with his band for him? Either you were dreaming, or you had manifested something you always thought to be impossible.

"I'm Bryan, by the way. Band's photographer. Not nearly as cool as everyone else, but someone's gotta do the boring off-stage stuff."

You laughed, your nervousness apparent. It didn't take long before the meet & greet concluded and everyone was in the backstage area, including you. You never felt more out of place, like at any moment someone would assume you snuck back there and would kick you out. Instead, Noah found you before anyone else noticed. He was smiling, trying hard to keep his composure.

"We meet again," he said, his confidence forced.

"Uh, yeah, yes, we do, we meet again," you fumbled over your words.

After a moment of awkward silence and standing in place, Noah finally spoke up.

"Would you want to maybe quite possibly go out with me? On like a date? Or to get food or something, doesn't have to be a date. Unless you have a boyfriend, I should have asked that first." He ran a nervous hand through his hair.

Your heart pounded in your chest, and you couldn't contain your smile. "Um, no, I don't have a boyfriend. And yes, I'd love to go on a date with you."

You never thought you'd ever say those words to Noah.

You never thought he'd be so excited to hear you say them.

You also never thought it would lead into what it eventually became.

Bad Omens had been touring and performing for years. From audiences of 5 to full arenas, they'd played everything, nearly everywhere. Tonight was the first time the band played a show in Chicago since their very first tour, when they were nothing more than a supporting act for a band that's since faded into obscurity. Noah swore off the city, never hating a tour spot more than there. Every tour the band had since, Noah tried to avoid Chicago like the plague. But for this tour, the band finally convinced him that it wouldn't be so bad. And it shouldn't have been, why would it be? It was nothing more than a city Noah hated playing in because of one time years ago. Surely it'd only make sense for him to hate the place if something else happened to give him an actual valid reason.

Which is why when Bryan told everyone about his city endeavors the night before, Noah finally had reason to hate for more than just a bad show.

"You guys would never guess who I ran into at this coffee shop," Noah heard Bryan telling Ruffilo and Folio. "Noah's ex apparently moved out here, don't know how long ago. But what are the odds that she'd be here, right?"

"Which ex?" Noah asked as he approached the group.

Bryan lined his lips, he hadn't realized Noah was nearby. "You want me to tell you, or do you wanna guess?"

Noah glared at him. "Not in the mood for games tonight, dude. I'm just wanting to know."

"Let me take a guess," Folio chimed in. "Amy?"

Bryan shook his head.

"Tamara? Erica? Wendy?"

"Wendy doesn't count, she and Noah lasted less than a week,* Ruffilo said. "And the other two are still in Virginia, I know this cuz their moms and my mom are friends and my mom gives me weekly updates about everyone in the state for some reason."

Jolly walked past the four of them, tuning his guitar. "It's Y/N, isn't it?" he asked, never looking up from his instrument.

Bryan stared at him. "Where did you come from? I thought you were still on the bus?"

Jolly shrugged. "I got off the bus."

Before the guys got a chance to say anything else, the band was told that it was almost their turn on stage. Bryan disappeared instantly, the band focused on getting their instruments and gear ready, and Noah did some last minute warm-ups. Normally he didn't need to warm up this much, but that conversation with Bryan about his ex, likely the one he dreaded being here the most, left his mind spiraling and his throat suddenly got dry. He cursed the lack of time he had to reverse the effects of his sudden situation, each step he took towards the stage feeling sluggish and heavy. For a woman he hadn't seen in 3 years, the mere mention of your name had him fucked up in a way he hadn't been in a while.

As the show went on, he slowly forgot the conversation backstage, slipping into the performer mindset he needed to provide for the audience the exact show they paid for. From singing higher notes and screaming his lungs out to talking with the audience in between songs, Noah eventually forgot that he had even began spiraling earlier. But as soon as the band finished the final song of the set, the encore Dethrone, the poor whispers from Folio and Ruffilo quickly snapped him back to a dry throat and a spinning mind.

Folio tapped Ruffilo's shoulder. "Yo, is that me, or does that look like Y/N?"

Ruffilo squinted his eyes where Folio pointed. "Oh my gosh, it does. You don't think it's her though, right? Why would it be?"

Against his better judgement, Noah walked over to the two of them and looked where Folio was pointing. It didn't take long for Noah to spot you, standing there in his hoodie, the necklace glimmering in the ribbon of light that'd been shining on you. His heart thudded so hard, he swore he broke a rib.

"Why is she here?" he asked, speaking louder than intended, his voice almost raspy.

Folio laughed while Ruffilo rubbed his head. "Dude, Jolly was right. It was Y/N! Oh man, I didn't think she'd have the balls to show up."

"You speak for the both of us, Folio," Noah said as he rushed off stage, leaving the two Nicks alone again.

Backstage, Noah found a bottle of water and downed it in less than 4 large gulps. He walked in circles, rubbing his eyes and telling himself he had to have been seeing things. No, it didn't make sense to him. Why would you be here, when you were the one who left to begin with? The one who left his house on that fateful night 3 years earlier, the one who ran away from California to get away from him.

"Noah!" Bryan's voice cut through the air.

He turned to him, a hand still in his hair.

"Yo, dude, are you good? What happened?"

Noah blinked, trying to understand himself what happened. "Y/N. She's here."

Bryan raised an eyebrow. "You sure? She looked like she was going to have a heart attack at the mere mention of you last night."

He shrugged. "She thought she was sly standing off to the side of the arena where I never look. Ask the guys, they were the first to see her."

Bryan laughed, evidently surprised. "Oh wow. That wasn't expected."

Noah folded his arms against the wall and hung his head. The thoughts that were surging through his brain weren't sorting properly, and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

Without warning, Noah snapped his head up and turned to Bryan once again. "You remember that show from the 2019 tour where I had you find her before the meet & greet ended?"

Bryan nodded, hesitantly.

"Find her for me and bring her back here, please. She's not leaving until I know why she showed up to begin with."

We'll Try Again A Bad Omens fanfic

CW: flashbacks of arguments, mild sexual & explicit language Word count: 2.8k A.N.: Hey y'all, it's Hannah V. I've decided to upload all three of the current parts of this fic from my other blog to here. It's gonna take me some time to get everything fic-related transferred cuz I'm also going to be formatting them and removing any mentions of Matt, but fingers crossed I'll have everything here by the weekend. For now, enjoy <3 (Divider was made by me btw, if y'all wanna use it for your own fics, please tag me. Thank uuuu <3 ) Masterlist

The last words you screamed at him echoed in your mind.

"You promised, and you lied!"

You remember the way the door flew out of your hand when you walked out of his house, the way the rain pelted your bare shoulders after you threw off Noah's jacket and left it on the lawn, the way your hands shook as you stuck your key into the ignition to leave.

The way his voice echoed when he ran out of the house and called out for you to come back.

The way the tears streamed down his face as he stood in the middle of the road, clothes soaked and hair dripping.

A violent shake to your shoulder broke your train of thought.

"Hello? Earth to Y/N?"

You looked up to see your best friend Leah standing there. By the look she was giving you, you knew she had to have been trying to get your attention for a pretty while.

"Huh?"

She sighed and shook her head. "I was in the middle of telling you about Derek and then you spaced out. I thought I was gonna have to slap you to bring you back."

You rubbed your forehead, your palm now noticably sweaty. "Sorry, just, didn't get much sleep last night."

Her eyes narrowed. She always knew when you were lying, but she knew it was pointless trying to get you to come clean. She'd always wait for you to tell the truth on your own, and normally you would. But you also knew she'd probably hit you with something if you told her you were thinking about Noah again.

It had been 3 years since the break-up. Surely you should have been over him by now. That's what Leah always told you whenever you talked about him, at least. But the dreams you had about him every night, the song he wrote about you and recorded with his band still on your playlist, the necklace he bought you always on you but tucked into your shirt so Leah wouldn't rip it off and throw it out. She told you that you needed to move on, that he wasn't worth your time anymore.

She didn't know him like you did, though.

Leah pulled out her phone, checking the time. "Well, you gotta wake up or something. We're supposed to be going out tonight, remember?"

You groaned, you completely forgot you agreed to go out tonight. "Any chance we could reschedule? I'm not feeling like going out and getting hit on by creeps tonight."

She scoffed. "No, Y/N, you don't get to reschedule tonight. We've had this night planned all week, and you need to get out of the house. Ever since you got this job, you stay inside all the damn time."

"That's kinda the point of getting a work-from-home job," you retorted. "And besides, you know I have at least a hundred other things I'd rather be doing on a Friday night than clubbing."

"I cannot believe this," she said, folding her arms and starting to walk circles around the room. "You used to be so out-going and willing to do literally anything and everything. Now I can't even get you to hang out on a Friday night."

You didn't say anything, instead you watched as she grabbed her jacket off of your couch and slid her shoes back on.

"I'm not giving you a choice," she declared. "We're going out tonight, you're going to live a little and maybe meet a man, and you are going to get back to being your old self in no time. Because I refuse to let my best friend continue to rot in her apartment, working a boring computer job, and still sulking over her douchebag of an ex-boyfriend whose music literally isn't even that good."

You went to speak, but she shushed you.

"I don't even wanna hear it. None of it. I'm getting my best friend back, whether she wants to come back or not."

She grabbed her purse from your coffee table and walked to the door, turning back to you one more time.

"I'll see you at 8. Wear that silver dress I lended you a couple months ago."

"You mean the one that practically shows my whole ass and tits?" you said, grimacing.

She rolled her eyes. "No, the one I gave you for church." A pause. "Obviously that one!"

You shook your head as she walked out the door. You loved Leah, she was your best friend in this entire world. But you would be damned if she didn't always have a way of pushing you out of your shell in the most forceful way. Sometimes it was a good thing; you could use her attitude at times. But on days like today, where the "miss-you" feeling was stronger than ever for Noah, you couldn't stand being told to do anything but sit in your feelings until it went away.

"I have tried telling you so many times," Noah said, furious. "I tried, I warned you, and you told me that you didn't care and that you could handle it."

"This isn't about me not being able to handle it," you bit back. "I said that I didn't care because I actually wanted to try. I actually wanted to make an effort. I actually wanted this."

"Did you think I didn't want this too?" He asked, almost hurt.

You sighed irritably. "I never said that. I'm just saying that I knew what I was getting into, and I didn't care because I wanted you. Not the money, not the fame, not anything else. You. And you said that no matter what, we would make it work. And I would like to think that I didn't waste 2 years of my life on this."

He ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head. "You know what, maybe you did. Maybe this was all just a big mistake. Maybe you should have never stopped by after the band's set. Maybe you should have told me to go to hell when I asked you out. Maybe you should have realized this sooner."

A tear ran down your cheek, but you quickly wiped it away. "I have done nothing but care about you, fight for you, stood by you, done everything in my power to show you that I loved you. And now you're telling me that it was all just a waste after all? Did you even love me, or was I just another fangirl you could bring on tour and bang when you wanted?"

He let out a frustrated breath. "Y/N, you know I am not like that."

You raised an eyebrow. "Do I? Because up until tonight, I thought I knew a lot about you. And now, I don't even know if I know you at all."

He growled. "Don't say shit like that. You know who the fuck I am!" he yelled, starling you. Regret instantly flashed in his eyes when he saw yours begin to water.

You stared at him, shaking your head. "Fuck you."

You grabbed your keys and headed for the door.

"Baby, wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No!" you shouted back. "You promised you'd never yell at me. You promised you'd never make me feel less than worthy. You promised you'd never make me feel like I was the only one fighting for this. You promised so much, so fucking much. You promised, and you lied!"

Your phone rang as you sat in traffic, wearing that uncomfortable silver dress that reflected the red from the street light as you waited to go. You glanced over, Leah's contact showing up as the caller. Even though you told her you had just left not even 5 minutes earlier, she couldn't resist blowing up your phone to make sure you were actually on your way.

Reluctantly you grabbed your phone from the passenger seat and answered, putting it on speaker.

"Hello Leah. Yes Leah, I am out of the house and in my car. Yes Leah, I'm wearing the silver hooker dress you wanted me to wear. Yes Leah, I am on my way."

You could hear her click her tongue. "Okay, first off, that is not a hooker dress. And second, I was just making sure you weren't rotting in bed scrolling through your phone instead of procrastinating getting ready."

You looked at the time on your car's clock, reading 7:45. "I'm 15 minutes out from the club. I'll see you there." You hung up before she could say anything else. You were already dreading going out tonight. The last thing you needed was Leah harassing you during the last minutes you had to yourself before you had to pretend to be enjoying being anywhere but home.

You flipped through radio stations as you drove, struggling to find any song worth listening to. If it wasn't the same 5 pop songs on rotation across the board, it was commercial after commercial, your faith in the radio fading by the second.

You flipped to the rock station, the one that always played commercials. You knew if nothing else, you could at least tolerate the commercials they ran on there. As you brought up the volume, your fingers frozed on the toggle as a familiar tune played through your car.

Bad Omens.

Noah's band.

You weren't a stranger to the fact that their last record blew up. It happened right after the two of you broke up. You also weren't unfamiliar with the songs that became most popular from the record. You had to uninstall TikTok because you couldn't escape Just Pretend, the song that was playing right now.

"We'll try again, when we're not so different..."

You should have changed the station the moment you heard his voice. Instead you stayed.

"We will make amends. Till then I'll just pretend."

Would you make amends? Was that even possible? You asked yourself that question every night since you first heard the song.

The car behind you honked, you hadn't realized the light turned green already.

"Sorry!" you shouted, like they could hear you.

You violently hit the power button on the radio as you drove, your hands now shaking. You didn't realize until you looked in the rearview mirror that your make-up started running, mascara teardrops stained on your cheeks. Damnit, even without being there, he still found a way to bring out the emotions you hated to confront.

"I'm not going to the club," you spoke aloud. You knew in your now emotional state, forcing yourself to look happy around Leah would be near impossible. You knew the moment she'd see your ruined make-up, she'd know you were thinking about Noah again.

Without hesitation, you switched lanes and started driving away from the club. You knew Leah would give you hell for this, but right now, you couldn't care less about what she'd have to say.

You drove until you spotted your favorite coffee shop. If you were going to spend your Friday night out, it might as well have been somewhere you actually enjoyed. When you parked, you searched your backseat for anything you could change into or at least throw over your dress. You found the hoodie you just bought the day before, still in the bag, realizing now that you forgot to bring it with the other bags. It would have to do for now, it's not like you had any other options.

Sporting your new hoodie and pulling your dress down to cover up more than it did before, you headed into the coffee shop. After you placed your order - a toasted marshmallow latte with white chocolate sauce - you went to the bathroom and cleaned up your make-up. Leah told you to wear more expressive make-up, add more glitter, do some bold eyeliner. But now it was gone, remaining only on thin toilet paper squares and in black puddles of water in the sink.

You threw away your trash, washed your hands and face one last time for good measure, and stepped out in time to catch your order. As you stepped over to a table, you felt a hand tap your shoulder. It was a familiar hand, and it made your blood run cold for a moment.

He shouldn't be here. Why is he here?

"Y/N?"

The voice was also familiar, but thankfully, it wasn't the one you expected to hear.

You turned around, the shock having to be evident on your face. It was Bryan, the tour photographer for Bad Omens, and one of Noah's best friends.

"Oh my gosh, Bryan, it's been forever since I've seen you."

The two of you shared a brief hug, then he followed you to the table you were walking to.

"I saw your drink sitting up there and remembered that Noah used to order that exact one for you all the time. Figured it couldn't be a coincidence that you happened to be here." He examined your makeshift outfit as you sat down. "Just got back from clubbing or something?"

You let out a small laugh. "Sorta. I was meeting a friend but I changed my mind and came here. You know I've never been the biggest on partying." You took a sip of your drink. "What are you doing out here?"

He took a sip of his drink as well. "Band's on tour, headlining for the first time. They're playing here tomorrow night. Gosh, I've been so sleep-deprived all tour. Thankfully there are only 4 stops left after this, then I can maybe catch up on some sleep."

You froze. If Bad Omens was on tour here, then that meant that Noah was here too. You had moved from California out here to Chicago after the break-up because you knew he'd never be here. He always talked about how much he hated this city. You thought you'd be spared from unfortunate chance encounters.

"I-is the band around?" you stuttered. "I mean, like, are they coming in and getting coffee too, or just you?"

He almost laughed at the fear that flashed in your eyes. "Relax, it's just me. Everyone else crashed early at the hotel. I wouldn't be sitting here if I knew Noah could walk up at any moment; I wouldn't want to be in the middle of that reunion."

You let out a shaky laugh, letting out a relieved sigh. Then, without thinking, you asked, "How has he been?"

Bryan shrugged. "He seems to be well. He's really happy about the record getting as big as it did. Not so much the part where he had to delete his socials. Bro started to get stalkers and everything after Just Pretend blew up, it was insane."

"Oh my gosh," you said. "I'm so sorry to hear that happened."

He finished his drink and toyed with the cup in his hand. "Don't be. The dude hasn't been happier since. I mean..." he trailed off, his phone suddenly ringing. You didn't mean to, but you glanced over as he pulled it out of your pocket. Noah's contact was on the screen. You almost didn't recognize him in the picture Bryan used. His hair was shorter, he looked more mature, and he definitely didn't look like the man you were once in love with.

Bryan took and ended the call all in a matter of seconds, then looked back at you. "I gotta go, but it was nice seeing you again. Hope you're doing well."

He stood up, and so did you, drink in hand still. "Yeah, great catching up. Hope tomorrow's show is a blast."

With another brief hug, the two of you parted, and a little while later, you headed out to your car. Leah had been blowing up your phone with messages, wondering where you were and why you weren't answering her calls. You decided not to bother answering her, instead you headed home, took a shower, and hopped into bed.

You tossed and turned, as you always did, but this time you were more restless. You couldn't get that picture of Noah out of your head, nor could you get the conversation with Bryan about him to stop echoing in your ears. The more you tried to fight it, the stronger it got.

"We'll try again, when we're not so different."

You rolled over to your nightstand and unplugged your phone. You clicked onto Google, searched the current tour dates for Bad Omens, and found Chicago's date.

"We will make amends."

You went to Ticketmaster and checked the prices of tickets. You were surprised there were any left.

"Till then, I'll just pretend."

With a few clicks and $198 gone, you purchased a ticket for the show tomorrow night, then put your phone back on your nightstand.

"Why the fuck did I just do that?"

You asked yourself that as you tossed and turned again, until your mind finally quieted down and your body exhausted itself.

You didn't know what your plan was, if there was any plan at all, but if there's one thing you did know, it was that you weren't telling Leah that you did this. Weren't telling her at all.