Well here we go and I am setting up my masterlist.
Not that I have written that much but for th story I am posting at the moment it might be a good idea.
Series
Light can only shine in the darkness
*One* - *Two* - *Three* - *Four* - *Five* - *Six* - *Seven* - *Eight* - *Nine* - *Ten* - *Eleven*
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The body is a weird thing.
The way it protects itself is strange and amazing.
Let´s say my bloodpressure, for some fucked reason, dropped for no reason and I remember being in the bathroom thinking "I should get on the floor"
Next thing I remember is thinking how nice and cool the floor it.
Nothing happend, no bruises so yeah but that was so weird especially at 1 am when all you wanted to do was use the bathroom-
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Your best friendâ whom you are helplessly in love withâ celebrating his 3rd anniversary with his girlfriend takes an unexpected turn, making you realize that loving someone is not the same as building a life with them.
Best friend!Noah x F!reader
Content warning: reader is stupidly blind, a lil bit of smut, slight dubcon (there is consent, but again, reader is stupid :/), alcohol intoxication, unrequited love, hurt/no comfort, just another crappy attempt at angst
Word count: 5.5k
A/N: Here's my belated birthday fic. This story is loosely inspired by an 'imagine' on TwitLonger (lmao) that I read back in 2011/12. It was one of the first fics that made my then-innocent teenage heart hurt, and I still think about it from time to time. So I hope this one hurts like I intended it to. âđź And please don't be stupid like reader here. :>
'you do make me hard, but she makes me weak' / The 1975
You
Dude how did it go??
Sent 21:46
Everything alright?
Sent 23:05
Call me when you get this
Sent 23:29
Donât tell me youâre already sleeping!!
Sent 00:47
Bitch stop ignoring me :(
Sent 00:49
Itâs past one in the morning, yet you were still on edge, pacing around your dimly lit living room as you stared at the series of messages you sent to your best friend.Â
Your anxiety was already through the roof tonight, and Noah ignoring youâ when you repeatedly told him earlier to keep you postedâ was not helping your nerves in any way. You couldâve sworn you already started to taste blood from chewing hard on your lower lip.
Noah Sebastian Davis was on a special dinner date with his girlfriend. He had promised to tell you how it would go, but to your dismay, not even one of your countless texts or calls was noticed by the guy you called your best friend since grade school. You had tried asking the rest of the boys if they had heard from him, but all of them were as lost as you, though Nicholas reminded you not to worry too much.Â
On regular days, you would not be this insistent on hearing from the guyâ heâs a grown man with his own life after allâ but tonight was a special case.Â
Noah and his girlfriend were celebrating their third anniversary.Â
With your help as his bestest friend, the lovestruck rockstar had organized an intimate dinner for the âlove of his lifeâ in his apartment. He had wanted their date to be simple yet very romantic, and when you had wiggled your brows to tease him, his straightforward answer had instantly faded the smile off your face, the words he uttered sending a direct blow right to your chest.
âIâm proposing.â
Two words that had made your stomach drop.
Two simple words that had instantly become so powerful when they rolled off his very own tongue that it made your world stop.
It was the one thing you had been dreading to hear ever since Noah got into a serious relationship.Â
It was the only news you had never wanted him to break to you when he decided to focus his eyes on one girl.
Someone who was finally not you.
With your heart pounding and hands going cold, all you could do then was stare at him through the tears that had started to blur your sight. You had slowly blinked them back, faking a smile as your eyes trailed through his beaming face. And the world had gone in slow motion when you watched him pluck out the diamond ring from his pocket, the stupid little freckles showing against his flushed cheeksâ the same cheeks that you had secretly been wishing to lovingly caress for over a decade now.
For so long, you had been trying to deny your feelings for your best friend, but one day your heart had had enough. Those little flutters you had been trying to suppress every damn time Noah Sebastian was near you had become so unbearable that you had finally allowed yourself to at least acknowledge their existence.
It had all started when he hit pubertyâ when he transformed into an attractive, lanky goof whose wolf-cut hair and playful eyes made girls on campus squeal like maniacs. It surely did not help that he and the guys had started a garage band, always present at weekend gigs where girls had freely fawned over them. You didnât care for it at first; you only saw Noah as âone of the boysâ. You had been so accustomed to his dorky face since you were seven, so you just did not get the fuss.
Not until one day, when all of a sudden his simple touches, which you had been so used to, started to make you feel unusually⌠weird.Â
His noodle arm around your shoulder when the two of you would walk together; his hands squeezing your face and fingers pinching your cheeks when heâd tease you; knuckles playfully punching your arm every time heâd get excitedâ these had been all part of Noahâs normal friendly gestures but now the mere graze of his fingertips on your skin had started to make your cheeks blush and your stomach do somersaults.Â
For the sake of your friendship, you had wanted to avoid this feeling so badly. But as an equally hormonal teenager back then, you had found yourself giving in, allowing the attraction to blossom as the two of you got older and navigated life together.Â
All of this despite knowing that you would never have the guts to tell your lanky best friend about it, so youâd for sure end up hurting on the sidelines. And even if you mustered up the courage to do so, you knew your feelings would remain unrequited.Â
You had always been his best friendâ his âbroâ, his confidante. Nothing more, nothing less.
From the tail end of high school and throughout college, you had witnessed Noahâs dating escapades in the front row. Several girls had come and gone; most of them did not last more than three months, and you actually thought he was not capable of settling down with one woman.Â
That was until Alexis came into his life.Â
Tall, blonde, athletic, outgoing, popular. From the moment you had laid your eyes on her, you knew she was the girl you would never be able to compete with.Â
How could you, anyway, when you had seen how your best friendâs eyes sparkled every single time he looked at her? When he would smile and laugh differently every damn time he was around her? When he had always dropped everything for her, no matter the consequences?
How could you, really, when she already had his heart wrapped around those soft, well-manicured fingers right at the beginning?
âIt was love at first sight,â Noah had animatedly narrated to you when Alexis accidentally stumbled into your giraffe best friend one day at the school gymnasium. As a natural flirt, he had shamelessly asked for her number and asked her out right then and there. Months after college graduation, they had made it official, and here they were, three years into their relationship, and Mr. Davis had gotten so helplessly in love that he had finally decided to tie his woman legally to him.
And as his best friend, you just hoped she also felt the same way for himâ that she would make him genuinely happy, the way he deserved it⌠the way you had always wanted.
NoahđŚDavis callingâŚ
Your phone vibrating startled you, snapping you back to reality. A heavy sigh of relief escaped your mouth when your phone screen finally lit up with your best friendâs silly contact photo.
For a second, you snorted. It was that bathroom selfie of him pouting that he sent you five years ago, when he randomly texted you, âIâm pooping right now, wanna FaceTime?âÂ
Yep, thatâs how close you two were.
âOh my god, Noah!â Picking up the call you had been waiting for all night, you greeted him with your exasperated âmomâ voice, as he would always call it. Worry started to lift off your chest; you were just glad your stupid best friend was still breathing, at least. âDude, what the fuck happened to you!?â
With eyebrows still as furrowed as before, you waited for Noah to talk on the other end, but all you could hear were his heavy breaths and muffled giggles.
What was wrong with him?
âHello? Noah Sebastian??â You raised your voice to tell him to quit playing around.Â
Your best friend let out a faint breath of your name before giggling again. This time, much louder as if to purposely annoy you.
âDude, I swearââ
âS-shit⌠âm so fuckinâ stupid.â Words slurred, he carried on with his annoying giggles, and thatâs when you questioned his current state.
âHey, are you drunk?â
âNoooo⌠Iâm Noah, you dimwit!â He was now laughing obnoxiously, making you roll your eyes and rub your forehead at his confirmation. You had been waiting for him to break some important news to you for the last few hours, and all you got was this stupid drunk call.
Who wouldâve thought youâd get this close to being awarded the Most Patient Best Friend of the Century?
âNoah Sebastian Davis!âÂ
âYup, baby, thatâs me!â He continued to laugh on the other line.
âHey, asshole, where are you right now? Are you in your apartment?â
âYup!â He giggled once again. âWanna come over?â
âWhy, are you alone?â You pried.
âYup!â He obnoxiously repeated, seemingly enjoying the sound of the âPâ popping from his lips.
âWhereâs Lexi?â
âYup!â
âNoah, for fuckâs sakeââ
âYup!â
Heaving out a sigh, you realized there was no talking sense into him at this moment. âIâll be there in 10. You better not move a muscle or I will kill you.â
âYup!â
And then it was like a reflex.Â
As soon as you dropped the call, you hurriedly grabbed your jacket and keys and drove to his place. It was almost two in the morning, and the weather hadnât been nice since the day before, as if mirroring the somber state of your non-existent love life. You knew, one way or another, that unpleasant news was waiting for you at Noahâs. But being the devoted, doting best friend that you were, you chose not to care.Â
Like you always did.
â
âNoah?â You quietly called for him as you pushed the door open to his apartment. The glow from the kitchen allowed you to scan your best friendâs dim living room. Aside from one pillow strewn on the carpeted floor, everything looked completely normal.
After carelessly throwing your jacket on the couch, you headed straight to the dining area, thinking your best friend would be there. But as you took a turn and squinted your eyes, the scenario that greeted you made you freeze in your spot.Â
Your mouth went dry as you felt the heavy weight you had been carrying the whole day drop from your chest to the pit of your stomach.Â
Eyes slowly blinking, you swallowed a lump in your throat, trying to convince yourself you were just dreaming.
Noahâs dining table looked exactly the same as when you set it up this afternoon, save for an empty bottle of wine and a missing glass. All of the plates were clean, and the food you had prepared remained intact, but now looked dry, cold, and untouched. The candles were unlit while the bouquet of red roses you ordered on your best friendâs behalf remained sitting on one of the chairs.Â
And it was impossible to miss the black velvet ring box lying upside down beside the bowl of your homemade lobster ravioli.
You did your best to be emotionally prepared for Noah getting engaged tonight, but what appeared in front of you was a whole different thing. No amount of pep talks from Nicholas and emo music from Folioâs cheesy playlist could have readied you for this.
Did they get into a fight?
Did she reject his proposal?Â
Did she stand him up?
Even thinking about any of the possible scenarios made your stomach churn. You were 100% ready to have your heart broken tonight, but you did not want it to be this way. Never this way.Â
You had witnessed Noahâs struggles growing up. Back in the day, you had fought other kids on his behalf every time they called him âstring beanâ. When some hippies from high school had badmouthed their garage band, you were the one who had retaliated for themâ for him.
And now that youâre all grown up, you certainly wished you could also protect him from the heartbreaks that came along with romantic relationships, the same way you would with his bullies back then.Â
Unfortunately, there was only so much you could do when it came to matters involving his heart, especially when it had always been out of your reach from the very start.
âNoah?â Your voice croaked as you turned back to the dim hallway to search for him. âNoah, where are you?â
It only took you a couple of steps, though, before a pair of strong, familiar arms grabbed and lightly pushed you against the wall.
âHey, are you okay?â You cooed, eyes softening at your best friendâs silhouette towering over you. While you couldnât make out his face clearly, you could see that heâd changed into one of his muscle tees, his arm tattoos now on full display. âW-what happenedââ
âWhat took you so long?â Noah grumbled, not letting you finish. Reeking of alcohol and weed, his hot breath hit your forehead as he slowly pressed his body against you, moving his large hands to your bare arms. You swallowed nervously at how the warmth of his palms rubbed against your cold, exposed skin.Â
âHave you had dinner?â You inquired, hands gently squeezing his forearms.
âWhat took you so fucking long?â He repeated, this time the words rolled off his tongue through gritted teeth.Â
Noah slowly caged your body against the wall as he crouched down to rest his forehead against yoursâ the gesture making your eyes go wide. His knitted eyebrows and bloodshot eyes were now visible.
âN-Noah, are you okââ
âWhy canât you answer me, huh?â He sneered, cutting you off once again. âI fucking waited for five hours.âÂ
Your heartbeat had found an abnormal pace when his face inched closer and closer to yours, his hot breath fanning your cheek while one of his hands crawled down to grip your hip.
âI came here as fast as I could when youââ
âYou couldnât evenâŚâ He did not bother to hear you explain, letting out a heavy breath as he squeezed his eyes shut before his voice started to crack. âYou couldnât even fucking tell me.âÂ
Tell him what?
Now puzzled, you slightly pushed your drunk best friendâs shoulder away from you; your other hand went up to cup his cheek as you tried searching for his now glossy eyes.
âHey, hey, youâre drunk. Letâs get you to bed, big guy,â you whispered as your thumb started stroking his cheekbone.Â
âGoddammit, what the fuck took you so long!?âÂ
You flinched at his sudden snap, your reflex making you pull away from him despite the nonexistent space he put between you.Â
This was a version of your best friend you hadnât met before. You had seen Noah get angry and annoyed countless times, but never in your whole life did he ever raise his voice at you.Â
Not even when you had accidentally broken the old acoustic guitar that his grandpa gave him when he was 13.
Noah was breathing heavily as you felt him squeeze your hip tighter than usual. His sudden outburst made your eyes well up, your lips starting to quiver like a little kid scolded by her parent.Â
âNoah, I-I donât understandâŚâ
âShh, baby,â he cut you off once more by placing his index finger against your lips, proceeding to brush some hair away from your face.Â
You swallowed hard, blinking back tears. Your gaze followed his every move nervously as you noticed his demeanor shifting. His lazy eyes scanned your face while his hand gently cupped your cheek, inked fingers caressing your skin as if to say sorry for yelling.Â
And it was as if his touch were hypnotic, because soon enough, you found your breath evening as you closed your eyes to savor the warmth his big palm afforded. A selfish part of you wanted to enjoy this moment with the love of your life, not giving a damn about his current drunken state and apparent mood swing.Â
This was the guy you wanted your whole life after allâ the guy youâd be willing to sell your soul to the devil if he asked you to.Â
How others could easily take him for granted was beyond you. Â
But the rational best friend in you knew this was wrong.Â
You heaved out a sigh, eyelids fluttering as you met his gaze again.Â
Your brain was telling you to push him away and talk some sense into him, but your thoughts were easily cut off by Noah tucking your hair behind your ear. With your eyes going wide, he dipped his head lower, making you gasp as his lips brushed lightly against the side of your mouth.Â
You went stiff as you felt him pull you closer, one hand pressing against the small of your back, as he moved down to place feather-light kisses along your jaw.Â
Now your face started burning, your legs turning to jelly as panic started creeping in.Â
All your life, Noah had only kissed you on the head in nothing but a friendly manner.Â
Why the fuck was he kissing your face like you were his long-time girlfriend? Like it was you whom he was proposing to tonight?
Then it finally dawned on you.Â
He had always been an impulsive and forgetful drunk, and tonight was no exception. In his inebriated state, the chances of his mistaking you for someone else were high enough to alarm you.
It certainly did not help that you and his girlfriend had the same build, save for the small height difference.
âIâm so glad youâre here,â Noah whispered against the skin below your ear before nibbling on it. âWhere have you been all night, hm?â
âNoah, Iâm notââ
Your best friend shut you up once again, but this time by doing that one thing you thought you would never experience with him in this lifetime.Â
Everything happened in slow motion as if you were in a fever dream.
You saw him pull his head back, smiling at you lazily before he dipped his head to close the gap between your lips.
Without a second thought.
Your breath hitched, heart thumping so fast you feared it might rip your chest open as you felt your best friendâs wet lips moving against yours.Â
The same pair of lips you had been dreaming of kissing since you were 17.
As you remained frozen in place, the thoughts in your head started to go berserk, trying to make sense of the situation you found yourself in.
Noah Davisâ that one guy who had been your constant since you learned to add and subtract; someone who unexpectedly became the only person whose heart you wanted to have your whole lifeâ was now devouring your lips like it was a normal thing to do. All while you went stiffly pressed against his huge frame.Â
His hand caressed your cheek, tilting your chin up when he slightly pulled away before diving right back into you open-mouthed, his chestnut fringe tickling your forehead and making your spine tingle.Â
His soft tongue grazed your lips, and you found yourself slowly parting them as you welcomed the taste of alcohol and nicotine⌠of the kiss you had been wishing for god knows how long.
Your heart wanted to reciprocate so so badlyâ to have your hand gently caress his warm cheeks, to press your bodies togetherâ but your brain was telling you otherwise. The logical side of you wanted to break away and perhaps slap some sense into your best friendâs head.
This was wrong. So wrong.
What about his girlfriend?Â
He proposed⌠didnât he?
With all your might, you pushed his chest off you, successfully pulling away from his hungry lips. Groaning from the interruption, Noah kept a tight hold on your hips, not letting go of you just yet.
Your heart was still pounding as you took in the look on his face. The dimly lit room did not stop you from noticing his clenched jaw, his scrunched brows, and the faint quiver of his plump bottom lip.Â
âNoah? Let me go,â you breathed out, tapping lightly on his chest. âCâmon, youâre drunk. I am not Alexis.â
He let out a sharp breath as he again rested his forehead against yours. And as if to compensate for the contact that you just deprived him of, his swollen lips moved to reach your neck, eliciting a gasp from your lips. He started to nibble on the skin and place tiny kisses down to your exposed shoulder.
You shut your eyes tight, trying to fight off the warm sensation blooming in your stomach.
This was so fucking wrong.
âNoahâŚâÂ
He hummed in response, lightly blowing on the crook of your neck before shamelessly sucking on what he now knew was your sensitive spot.Â
âI waited for so long,â he mumbled against your shoulder, both of his arms snaking around your torso to envelop you in a hug. âI thought you were not coming anymore, baby.â
âNoah, Iâm not Alexââ
âShh, baby, itâs okay,â he whispered before pecking the skin that he sucked and left a bruise on. âIâm not mad at you⌠I will never be mad at you.â
And as if expecting your next move, your best friend did not let you protest any longer as he pressed your bodies together and backed you completely against the wall. Hearing you gasp tugged a playful smirk on his lips, especially when he deliberately slotted his crotch onto your lower belly, making your face heat up with the apparent feeling of his clothed bulge resting on your stomach.
âNoah, w-what are you doing?â You stuttered, your voice breaking and breath quickening, no longer trying to conceal the fear creeping in. âYouâre scaring me.â
You tried to search for his eyes, looking for any signâ anythingâ that would tell you he was just messing around. But his face remained buried in the crook of your neck, ignoring your obvious discomfort. One of his hands moved down to cup your ass, kneading your flesh before pushing your lower body more against his.Â
âPlease⌠Noah, youâre drunk.â Feeling your eyes starting to water, you prayed that a part of him could still listen to reason.Â
Your hands curled around his shirt as he continued to mouth along your throat down to your collarbone, his arousal grinding against you.
âNoah⌠you⌠you do not want meâŚâ You choked back a sob, whispering the words as if you did not want anyone to hear, including yourself. âIâ Iâm not Lexi...â
A stray tear escaped your eye, your voice now barely a whisper. âYou love her⌠not me.â
And then you felt his movements stop. The sound of clothes rustling and skin touching halted in an instant.Â
Noahâs forehead dropped onto your shoulder, and all you could hear was his heavy breathing and the thumping of your heart against your chest.
With your trembling hand, you cradled the back of his head, slowly weaving your fingers with the ends of his overgrown hair.Â
âIâm so sorry,â you whimpered.
And just as you were about to push him off, Noahâs shoulders shook lightly. You heaved out a sigh as your hand gently rubbed his back.
âIâŚâ he croaked against your skin. âI love you so much⌠why- why canât you understand that?â
Your stomach dropped.Â
Nothing couldâve prepared you for this.Â
Who wouldâve thought that it was still possible to have your already broken heart cut into tiny pieces in just one night?
âDo I⌠not mean something to you anymore? All those years⌠those promises we made⌠are they all for nothing?â
Biting your lip, you chose not to say anything and just let him cry in your arms, your own tears freely shedding with his.
âWhat does he have that I donât?âÂ
Wincing, you muttered a curse.Â
You had so many questions running through your head as to why your best friend got shitfaced drunk on what was supposed to be a special night.
Now things started making sense.Â
âJust tell me what I can do to fix this⌠anythingâŚâ he hiccuped. âIâll do anything. Give me a chance to fix us, baby.â
And then you felt his lips on you once againâ on your shoulder, towards your collarbone, moving up to your jawline.
âFuck⌠let me show you how much I love youâŚâ Noah breathed out, placing a chaste kiss below your ear. His thumb wiped off the tear stains on your face before his lips peppered your cheeks with tiny kissesâ each of them lingering as if asking, begging, you to just give him this night.
âPlease, baby?âÂ
Your heart raced anew, your puffy eyes finally meeting your best friendâs lidded ones.Â
You knew it was wrong. But what else could you do to ease his pain tonight? (A/N: stupid girl)
Swallowing hard, you scanned his face before sucking in a deep breathâ before finding yourself surrendering to the man whom you had willingly let hold your heart in a vice grip.
Itâs just a temporary fix, anyway. You had done it with others before; it shouldnât be a big deal⌠right?
You had made so many bad decisions for the unrequited love you had for this guy.Â
Whatâs one more?
Right?
Nodding, you slowly whispered, âO-okay.â
â
Sadly, sleeping with your hammered best friend was apparently way more than a bad decision.
Noah had started acting feral when you finally returned his kiss for the first time. All of his softness completely thrown out of the window, he had hungrily devoured you while skillfully moving you to the living room couch without breaking contact.Â
Then things happened in a blur.Â
You had let Noah undress you, almost ripping off your underwear, before laying you down on the soft cushion and prying your legs open. The next thing you knew, you were squealing as his lips wrapped around your sensitive flesh, tongue poking your entrance.Â
And while you let your hand grab onto his hair, you were still afraid of feeling things beyond your activated libido. So you decided to look away, turning your face to stare into the empty television screen instead, as though you could still pretend this was all normal.Â
After a few licks, Noah repositioned himself above you, forcibly turning your face towards him to connect your lips. And as your tongues met, you felt his bulbous tip press into your hole, his mouth swallowing your gasp.
âDid you miss me?â He whispered against your ear, his smirk evident in his voice. All while you whimpered at the burn of the unfamiliar stretch.Â
Taking him inch by inch, you squeezed your eyes shut as you buried your face into his damp shirt.
He did not even bother taking his clothes off while he spread you completely naked underneath him.
âMâfuckâŚâ he grunted, bottoming out with one hard thrust, forcing a cry from you. Noah chuckled against your neck as he slowly moved, not even giving you time to adjust. âI donât remember you being this fuckinâ tight⌠Alexis.â
You couldnât help but winceâ both at the name he called you and the stinging sensation in your core. Noah being drunk did not prepare you much, and given his size, you knew from the beginning this would hurt.
And yeah, it truly did.
Tears that you barely noticed in your eyes started running down your face with each pull and slam of his hips. You chewed on your lower lip, whimpering with the way he moved his shaft along your tight walls.
âDid he ever fuck you like this, hm?â Picking up his pace, Noah grumbled as his mouth moved, tracing the column of your neck down to your exposed chest. He wrapped his lips around a nipple before sucking it and releasing it with a pop. âIs he even bigger than me? Huh?â
All you could do was gasp at the different sensations he was making you feel. While his cock was tearing you open, the way his mouth worked on your body was at least helping distract you from the pain you were feeling down there.
âN-Noah⌠ahââ
âYeah, thatâs right, baby. Moan my name.â He shifted to a kneeling position, bringing your hips up to meet his thrusts. âMâgonna fucking ruin you for that son of a bitch.â
Noah pounded into you as if his life depended on it, the sound of his grunts and your skin slapping creating a sinking feeling in your stomach.Â
Chasing his own high, strings of curses left your best friendâs mouth amid his shameless moans and your quiet whimpers.Â
Your hand descended towards your clit, trying to also reach your own peak, at the very least. But you had barely even touched yourself when Noahâs body tensed up, his stuttering hips slamming into you hard as you felt spurts of his warm come shoot inside you.
Panting, he slumped forward, his broad frame going limp on top of you as his cock started throbbed inside your walls.
Not even a small amount of care for your own pleasure.
As he came down from his high, Noah did not bother pulling out. He instead wrapped his arms tightly around you, pulling your naked body impossibly close to his clothed one.
âFuck⌠Lex, I love you,â he sobbed against your hair, still trying to catch his breath. âI love you so fucking much.â
The sound of your heart breaking hit you once more as he uttered the next words.Â
Although you were no longer sure if it was still him that your heart was breaking for.
âIâll do anything⌠Just please⌠donât leave me.â
â
It was past three in the morning when Noah passed out on top of you on the living room couch. When you finally felt his even breathing and his soft snores, you carefully rolled him off you as you wiggled out of his grasp. Quietly sniffling, you hurriedly picked up your clothes and got dressed. But before heading for the front door, you hesitantly fixed his clothes before draping a throw blanket over his shoulders.
You paused for a second, letting out a sharp breath as you stared at your best friendâ at his peaceful sleeping face adorned with little scars and freckles that you had always wanted to trace with your fingers your whole life.
A single tear escaped your eye as you felt your stomach drop anew.
How on earth could you get to this level of stupidity?
How could you throw away the littlest ounce of respect you had left for yourself just to please a guy whom you knew would never feel the same way?
And as you made your way home, you finally let the dam break wide open.
You had never felt so disgusting.
You curled up like an infant as soon as you got into your bed, sobs racking your body so hard as your mind could not stop replaying the things you let your drunk best friend do⌠the things you forced yourself to take for him despite the repercussions.Â
At this point, all you wanted was to drift off and forget.Â
But sleep did not come easily. It was as if the universe was punishing you and letting you drown in your miserable thoughts instead of allowing you to forget temporarily.
The hours dragged on and on with you staring into your ceiling, with tears trickling down your temple, with self-deprecating thoughts keeping your mind alive and awake despite your body surrendering to exhaustion.Â
It was only when the sun started showing itself that your puffy eyes finally fluttered closed, tear ducts finally running out of supply, the cogs in your brain that have been guilting you finally slowing down.
And a few hours after crying yourself to sleep, your phone started pinging in the corner of your room.
Ruffilo
Hey have you heard?
Lexi dumped your boy yesterday
Turns out sheâs been seeing some guy from work for quite some time now
Received 08:10
Did Noah still propose?
Fuck this is messed up dude
Did you know? Is he ok?
Received 08:17
Talked to him just now
He was so disoriented lmao
Told me he needs you. Your boy needs some lovin đ
Received 12:39
A series of notifications continued lighting up the screen, seemingly taunting you unknowingly while you remained curled up in your bed of self-pity.
NoahđŚDavis
Yo
Sorry i was fucking wasted last night i forgot to text you
Can you come over?
Received 12:47
Wait, why is your jacket here lol
Did i call you last night?
Haha wtf did i do now
Received 13:01
NoahđŚDavis callingâŚÂ
Call missed 13:05
Call missed 13:08
Call missed 13:15
Call missed 14:15
NoahđŚDavis
Hey, you still sleeping? Call me back
Received 14:16
NoahđŚDavis callingâŚÂ
Call missed 15:31
Call missed 15:50
Call missed 16:45
NoahđŚDavis
Yo sleeping beauty
Received 16:48
NoahđŚDavis callingâŚ
Call missed 16:59
NoahđŚDavis
Are you okay?
Received 17:01
Seen 17:15
NoahđŚDavis callingâŚ
Call missed 19:15
NoahđŚDavis
Are we okay?
Received 19:23
Seen 19:31
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