As if my life hasn't been absolute clown shoes

Reblog to smooch him awake

At 1,000 smooches, he shall Awaken

is he awake

go back to bed nubby

I’ve come to inform you all the Ancient Greeks spelled Thoth, the Egyptian deity, as Θώθ

hey, thanks! now die

anyone else fucking LOVE BEING IN BED???

bitch im in bed right now!! how did you know!!

turn up the volume on your favorite song to scare the serotonin out of hiding

met a women today and she was like “i’m mrs smith, soon to be mrs johnstone” and I was like “aww, that’s lovely! are ye gettin’ married?” and without blinking she hit back with “nah i’m divorcing the cunt” a legend tbh

I haven’t seen the episode where this is from, but I have no doubt in my mind it went exactly like that.

Don’t date someone you wouldn’t own a dog with

This is like really sound advice though

how do you make someone holy

you beat the hell out of them

my 96 year old catholic grandma told me this joke

due to personal reasons i have decided to stop making sense to anyone. i will not be accepting constructive criticism nor will i be taking any questions at this or any other time

i'm sorry WHAT

Okay guys lets get this stuff unpacked.   Karen’s stuff…Some supplies…Karen…