It's Not Lupus!

meet cute: it's raining and I see your battered bleeding body lying in the mud and I kick it slightly to see if you're dead

@thickness-protection-program

Yes! It's easy! As long as you're stealing a small/low priced item. The cameras are usually not on you specifically unless you give them a reason to be, and even then there would be an announcement like "security scan in toys." That's your cue to steal a watch! 🏃🏿‍♂️💨 Just don't be stupid about it bc every failed theft attempt increases security to varying degrees. Printer ink and glitter weren't always behind glass doors 🤦🏿‍♂️

"Doctor, give it to me straight" "You sure, there's a fee" "… Give it to me gay"

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

Fascinated by the fact that his first question was about if he'd have to prove it. I wanna know how far that man would go to save less than a dollar

I lost my wallet. It is in my apartment

Okay

man with excellent self restraint dismayed to realize that not wanting anything is more likely a depression symptom than a carefully honed skill that atones for other aspects of his character

is it a bad sign that "man" is the least accurate part of this post

is it a bad sign that large birds circle above me whenever i leave the house and they scream and scream and scream

@heartattackkidd

*takes off my leather jacket to reveal a second, secret leather jacket underneath*

you mean, skin?

What an absolutely terrifying addition to my post. Thank you.