eating a fucking toaster, bro.

stop using ai i need that water for my bong

ragebaiting lemonade stand owner with one simple order

me at the function tbh

netizen is a really cute word for Person On The Internet im surprised i dont see it used in more english language stuff. lets all be netizens of tumblr together.

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

Larry is 19. The next PM may well be his last, and you know his death will be an omen on that administration.

The oldest cat out there is 30. Larry could conceivably see a dozen PMs - and possibly a second monarch - come and go before he shuffles off this mortal coil. like to charge reblog to cast etc

if you’ve lost your spark, this is the year to find yourself again and get yourself back. wishing you all a safe return to yourselves.

If I had a penis I would say “aaannnnddddddd we’re in” during sex like they do in movies when hacking into the mainframe

I wanna sit under your desk and do silly stuff with my mouth to distract u while you work (i am chewing electrical cords)

unfortunately i am a fool every day of the year

if u look in the mirror & say my name three times i will come smoke all ur weed