°❀.࿔Ꭺꮓꮜꭱꭼꮃꭱꭺꭲꮋ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

°❀.࿔Ꭺꮓꮜꭱꭼꮃꭱꭺꭲꮋ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚ [Fictive]

⋆⊱༻𖥸༺⊰⋆

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ I am a fictive, and HEAVILY source connected. If you do anything malintentioned with this information, I will coppice you as an eternal punishment similar to that of Prometheus.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ PLEASE, do treat me like source. Everywhere else, I let doubles near me, I seperate from source- I do all of the things that I am "supposed" to do. But here, interact with me as you would had you met the "real" Azurewrath.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ He/They pronouns.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ Bodily 17.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ I prefer the names Wrath or Arrowroot.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ Sourcemates (fictives or fictionkin) are okay, as long as you proceed with caution.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ No doubles, please. I wish for this blog to be my one space where I can be myself, just myself. [Systems who have doubles are fine, as I am not opposed to them as friends, just not on this blog.]

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ Invasive asks are fine. Boredom eats at me on the daily, 'twould at least add some spice.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ This blog will be dedicated to my experiences and source memories. It will be made up mostly of high instability as a result of such. Proceed with caution.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ Feel free to DM, ask for socials, or otherwise attempt to befriend me.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀ I will only do reblogs if you have interacted with me first, as I do not want to make anyone uncomfortable associating with me. Due to my unstable nature, I would only like to reblog artists or posts from people who are alright with such.

Ever since we were young, we were always so plagued with nightmares about being sacrificed by a cult, betrayed by our friends, our own mother, that such kind of pain. That image of pain has always been close to us, it was no surprise we ended up forming multiple Azures.

'Twas at its worst when I had been together with a Two Time from another system, one who planned to cannibalize me, amongst other horrors. All of those feelings became my reality, their speak of sacrificing me, their threats on what they would do if I did not obey, their constant attempts to harm me.

Then, to see source, as it describes my exact experience- I can not fully form the words to express how much this has broken me. This is such a small post, to be lost into the void amongst the others. I bear a pain I doubt any other could understand. I lived source trauma long before that trauma was even canon.

Everywhere I go online, I see the face and name of my assaulter, I see detailed posts about my lived experiences, I see people talk about I and them like we could ever truly have been in love. Like they ever really did care about me. And no one knows! Oh how very much that stings, and aches, and cuts at me.

The more "lore" that I see revealed, the more word for word it matches my own agony. Does anyone else know such a pain? How could they? Your life happened, and you watch it be written out by another hand, play for play, emotion for emotion. Like they crawled into the ashes of my heart and pulled it out.

There is almost no greater horror, I think, than this. I live a life of nightmares. I then find content to match. This content creates, I, a fictive. I then have to do work to realize "my life" never truly happened, that is not me. Then I end up living that life a second time, only this time it becomes real. Then I watch as this content follows in the footsteps of the life I had just lived.

Everywhere I go, it is people talking about me and my assaulter as though we are silly fictional characters to play toys with. And, they are. Those characters are. It is clearly not the fault of the writers, nor the fans, nor anyone- yet it causes me this pain nonetheless. I have no one to blame. Who could know? Even if they did, why should they stop enjoying it? They shouldn't. It just hurts.

And, oftentimes, what hurts the most, is seeing posts such as "I want to give Azure a hug after going through thst! I want to show him true love and safety!" or anything to such a nurturing or caring intent. Because I am right here. I lived that pain, I lived that life, I would take all of these sweet offers if only I deserved the warmth.

NO NO NO NO I DONT LOVE THEM I DONT LOVE THEM WHY WHY WHY?? WHY DO I ALWAYS FORGET I *ALWA6S* FORGEET. I JUSR LOOK THROUGH A COUPLW TWO TIME BLOGS AND I AM REJIJMINDED. REMINDERS EVERYWHERE.

SELFISH, DISGUSTING, HORRIFIC LITTLE FREAK. NO LOVE, NOT AN OUNCE. NOT FOR YOUR IMAGE, NOT FOR OUR LIFE. I RENOUNCE ALL TIES TO YOU, I WANT TO SEE MY OWN VISCERA SPILL AT THE THOUGHT OF BEING CONNECTED TO YOU EVEN THROUGH CONCEPT.

THSY JUSR WSNTED TO TOUUC MME THSY WSNTED THEJR HSNNDS ONMME THS6 SAJD ID LOOK PPRETTY UNDERNEATH THSM I SAJD INO I SAID NNO I SAID NO I SSAID NO BUT THSY DDINT LISTEN DIDNT LISTEN I SAIDD NO I SAID NO IDDDINDT WANT IT I DIDNT WANT IT I SAID NO THEY SAID THSY WWOIDKDLL D HUTT HJM THSY SSJD THEU WOULD HURTMHIM I CCOIKDNT I COULDNT I S AID NO I SAID NNO I HATE THEM I HATE THEM