#fictive posting

elaboration because i feel i can be a little unclear: this is about how my autism affects my ability to understand myself at all without looking through the lense of something else, in this case, a fictional character. despite seeing so, so many other autistic systems out there, it feels like nobody else experiences, or at least talks about, their symptoms overlapping in this way, which means i have no lense through which to look to know what I'm meant to call myself. everyone seems to just... know exactly what they are and how to describe it, and nobody seems to be in this weird middle ground i am with identity in relation to source.