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tannertan36
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official daine visual archive
Sweet Seals For You, Always
One Nice Bug Per Day
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
The Bowery Presents
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Discoholic 🪩
occasionally subtle
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trying on a metaphor

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@ayanoinpurple
(UNMUTE YOU WON'T REGRET IT)
(Source)
adding tags because YEAH

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cat introducing 1 one week old kitten to dog friend
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Parents get sooooooo mad when anyone even remotely implies that if we know it negatively impacts adults then it’s probably quite detrimental to the health and development of a young mind to stick an iPad in front of a child any time they show signs of Behaviors. “Are you calling me a bad parent?” Yeah. I am.
“Well, what am I supposed to do when my kid Has Behaviors?” Idk. You somehow lived to adulthood without being an iPad baby. What did the adults around you growing up do when you exhibited Behaviors? Was it a positive on your growth and development? If it wasn’t, do you remember what your child-self had hoped an adult would do? Start there.
Anyway. Every generation has its challenges but I think we are all deeply unprepared for just how fucking weird the iPad baby gen, who also had key developmental years during covid social distancing, are showing signs of being.
As a teacher, please god do something else
Your daily dose of cat memes
I do in fact need everything to be okay
as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE.
you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”
…you start sweating
normal person in 1st century Nazareth: making my way downtown, walking fast
*sees J boy, 8 yo, staring at you from across the street*
normal person: walking faster
even funnier, the only person 100% on board with his Prophetic Kid Talk is his mother Miriam, an otherwise placid, absolutely normal woman around 25 or so
kid JC, coming home at twilight, a single white dove following him and chirping with weirdly human-like precision:
moth̫́er,̦͌ ̮̉i h͙̉av͔̽e ͓͗b̘̃r̞̓o̮͘u̲̒gh̟͒t̺́ you a do̗͐ṽ͙e̢͘ ͈̾m͒͢a͈̽dē̝ ỏ̘f ͈̓c̆͜l͔̂aỷ͇ aṋ̑d̳̿ g͢͞i̹̾fted̖͡ ̻͐it ͓͂w̖̿it̎͜h t̥̃h͙͒e ̨̒m̧̂i̡̍ŗ͒â̫cḷ̔è̤ ̛̻of̞̅ l̘̈i̛̦fè̳
Miriam: ! that’s my little boy :) now let’s go get ready for dinner :)
her husband Yosef, a carpenter who only marginally got signed up for this:
This post is so Christian, but it’s the spicy kind of Christian that gets you murdered by other Christians for heresy, so I’m torn.
literally biggest form of compliment i’ve ever gotten
that means the angels are babysitters then
here have more
You guys really need to read Christopher Moore’s Lamb, if you haven’t.
Always reblog Cryptid Jesus
I made more. cause it’s fun
I love that you guys used their actual names
I did not consider Eldritch Baby Jesus.

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Listen all u internet goers……. I know everyone has some wild catfish stories and I need to know them
okay so for legal reasons this is all a very funny joke and none of it is real I promise
basically there’s a property listing floating out there somewhere online that lists my phone number as a contact for the owner of a house in a suburb of [redacted], ohio, even though that is a town I have never lived in. about two years ago, I started getting calls and texts from people who were asking if I was interested in selling the property. when I told them no and they had the wrong number, the amount of calls increased, and I had to block their numbers.
since then, once about every 3 months I get a call or text from people wanting to buy this house in ohio as they think I’m the owner. I got fed up at one point and just started replying “yeah I might be interested in selling, but the property I have is haunted. like super haunted. lots of ghosts everywhere, so you’ll have to get rid of those before putting it on the market.” to my delight, they stopped replying after that, so I now do that when I get these messages.
the last time it happened was actually just a few weeks ago, and the guy texting me on behalf of this house flipping operation actually offered to pay for an exorcism. I replied by telling him I was pretty sure the ghosts were protestant, so if he brought a priest in it had better not be catholic. he has yet to reply.
You are having literally the funniest possible reaction to an infuriating scam
listen the only way to beat a scam like that is to give them a reaction that is just way more bizarre than whatever they started with. crank the bonkers energy up to an 11 and they’ll leave you alone
I reblogged this last month, tagged it, and said “might as well see if it works.” I used this video as a reference to find all the forms that i needed (which is A LOT, especially if you’re a dependent) and sent them through the mail, not really allowing myself to hope.
dude.
$2,714 of medical debt from my top surgery - gone. im shaking this was such a weight on me for 2 years and it fucking worked. what the fuck.
re-reblogging and thinking about when i have another collection agency calling that i can just do this
Titanic: Project 401 allows you explore a jaw-droppingly authentic recreation of the RMS Titanic, from first class all the way down to the engine rooms.
Read More & Play The Alpha, Free (Windows)
How DARE you interrupt me while I’m smelling this stinky stick! 😾
I miss him 😭
started drawing. had a gender day. bon appetit.

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“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
She ain’t no games in real life so I take her serious all the time
Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS
I’m not climbing no mountain with a pig on my back, 🙅🏽🙅🏾🙅🏿 Negative.
Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.
who the fuck is Madame Zeroni
Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is
my cat is incredibly sweet and wants nothing more than to be within a 5 ft radius of a person at all times, gently chilling in your orbit. he is also VERY, VERY DUMB
it’s a slow morning so husband and I are reading, not making much noise. meanwhile, Barold goes downstairs to use his box and when he comes out, he starts yowling like his lil heart done broke. husband goes to to the top of the stairs all worried like, “Barold, what’s wrong?”
kitty zips back up the stairs and just oozes onto husband’s feet, purring high-powered lawnmower style. the realization hit us both at the same time…
this. boy. this itty bitty kitty boy.
he couldn’t see or hear us for ten continuous seconds, forgot. we. were. home. and immediately burst into tears !!!!
I was just focusing on the fact that you named your cat Barold for the entirety of that post
I want this cat to be named Barold Bluejeans so bad
Good news!
That is exactly his name!
Here is Barold Bluejeans in a bathtub!
The best news ever!!!!!😻😻😻
He’s an orange, that explains everything.
Love as Acceptance
Caitlyn Siehl // Leonard Cohen, "Anthem" // Rumi, "Bitterweet" // trans. Anne Carson, "Euripides" // Sade Andria Zabala, "Coffee and Cigarettes" // tumblr acct @/gayassnatural // Anne Carson, "H of H Playbook" // William Shakespeare, "Sonnet 116" // Clementine von Radics, "Mouthful of Forevers" // Toni Morrison, "Jazz"
Yehuda Halevi/Chaim Stern, "Tis A Fearful Thing"
So so glad I have this ❤️
Mildly Hilarious/Cute Things My Boyfriend Has Said While We’re Both Sick With COVID™️:
“I’m so hot it’s pissing me off”
“Baby will you please cuddle me until I’m warm again?”
*After standing outside in 38° weather at 1:00 AM* “The neighbors are outside yelling and this dude is screaming about how you can’t be a pussy and you just gotta get shit done”
No one needs to say it but we all know what it is
FUCKEN

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Did you eat? (I love you) I bought the bread you like (I love you) I noticed you were upset so I brought you tea (I love you) I made this for you (I love you) I know you have a lot of work and can't talk now so I will leave this thing you like around (I love you) I did your chores (I love you) I will sit by in case you need anything (I love you. I love you. I love you)
You have been booped by this empty wrapping paper tube.
Reblog to boop all of your followers with it.
get BOOPED (but affectionately)