Je suis fatiguée les gens.

look i know it's not gonna be top priority but when the rubber band snaps back and everyone is sjws again we really need to get the de-gendering of clothes on the docket. like why the fuck are we still calling skirts and dresses "women's clothing" while pants and suits get to be neutral in 2026 like it sounds weird when you say it out loud right

(slaps table like a company director) i want to see cis men in skirts being completely unremarkable by 2032

What the fuck

I love that Jules Verne asked the question "What kind of person could circumnavigate the world in 80 days?" and decided that the answer was not a groundbreaking explorer or genius inventor, but a guy who's really, really, really obsessed with train and boat schedules.

my final paper for my CS degree was literally "how can we algorithmically optimise for the fastest possible circumnavigation route on commercial flights?", which incidentally required me to adopt a very good working knowledge of what flight options are available at what times (and also led to me accidentally memorising several hundred airport codes)

incidentally the fastest possible route seems to be about 51 hours, if you're working from 2022 schedules like i was. if you use current schedules and are very optimistic about how quickly you can transfer between flights, you can maybe get it down to around 48 hours (also known as 25 millivernes).

The very best thing about tumblr is that you can make a post about a 154-year-old novel and get responses like this.

Hey wait a second, why did cats evolve to attack invisible things?

They were domesticated in Fertile Crescent and Egypt so probably an evolutionary advantage for snakes and scorpions that are hidden in sand and are more noticed by their movement than being seen directly

and also all the ghosts and devils.

and also all the ghosts and devils.

Official ominous sign (apparently translates to "Sorry", in a sincere way)

OH MY GOSH LOOK AT THEM

100% of my exposure to Bridgerton has been Nicola Coulaghlan talking about how great her breasts are, and that's perfectly fine by me

Despite it's flaws I still love Tumblr. Pussy cunt cock and balls tits bitch fuck shit faggot dyke cunt cunt cunt. What other website could you post this on

All gays will go to hellsite

What if in hellsite but not gay

NO!

You just know the ye olde peasants went NUTS at that last part

We don’t say sblood enough we should bring it back

do you ever think about dead versions of yourself that are fossilized in someone else's mind

i see that this one kind of fucked everyone up

On the phone at work with the woman born in '37 and she was apologizing for complaining about her pain and I was like oh no worries I got fibro I get it and she was like "oh we're in this together then" and as we were laughing about it she unprompted said "so who are we gonna kill about it" and because this is exactly the energy I wish every customer had i instantly replied "well I can't plan that on a line my bosses can hear" which she got a real kick out of. Anyway go grandma

I see first person stories like I'm sitting down across from the narrator getting the wildest tea imaginable

Most accurate way to read a first person story

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

that’s what the heritage and lore blogs

Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting

I miss my moving men they took such good care of me and they were so handsome and beautiful and strong and efficient and they wrapped all my furniture up in plastic and they loved that I got pizza for them and they knew how to safely drive the big big truck. Come back to me moving men

Moving men please come move me in your big strong arms in a way that complies with local safety regulations and the company's values

idk if this is a boomer take but I think ppl should make more of an effort to go see movies in theaters bc I couldn’t bear it if the movie theater industry went down and the only way to watch movies was through streaming I’m not strong enough

Actually I’ll make it even more boomer because I genuinely think it’s a good thing for people to have a reason to put down social media for an hour or two and just focus all their attention on a movie together and get fully immersed like I think that’s good practice for our attention spans and ultimately for our mental health (unless you’re a person who uses your phone during the movie in the theater in which case uh idk die)