it's a wild time to be alive

(three decades into my life) sorry I wasn’t paying attention, can we start again?

I really love when cats use their front legs to hold something in place while they use their back legs to kick the absolute shit out of it

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

ending a social interaction with a friend and thinking "I think we grew a little bit closer today." in my head as if I'm a dating game protagonist

[guy who doesnt watch shows voice] yeah ive been meaning to watch that show

What do you guys do for work. Job share time. I want to know

nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

no mi circo no mis feratus

i think its charming when peoples personal lives improve and they get drastically worse at posting

My hope for whoever is reading this is that your life starts making sense and coming together. I hope the good days are right around the corner for you.

a lot of stories are about the fantasy of someone going to find you when u disappear from a group function

i saw this somewhere else but reply / tag what you did today so everyone can see that we all did something different today

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

being at work while your personal life is falling apart has to be among the top 3 worst human experiences. You’re at your absolute lowest and someone wants to circle back on an email…… unreal