Ink to Paper

The next day Isaac found himself at Peter’s apartment. Face barely containing his smile as Peter opened the door. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Isaac kissed his quickly on the cheek before walking past Peter and into the kitchen. “You sure you don’t mind taking a break from your world domination plans to help me?”

“Oh I’m sure the world can wait another day.”

“Good.”

“First things first wash your hands.”

Peter watched Isaac closely. Fondly. Cooking looked good on the younger wolf and if he was able to make Isaac flustered by wiping off a spot of sauce with his finger then that was only an added bonus. As they finished the prep it started to snow and Isaac couldn’t help but to think back to the first time he saw snow.

Light white flakes floated down coating the ground. Isaac starred up wide eyed and in wonder. Everyone else around he was cheering and clapping and all he could do is focus on how pretty it was. His mother shared a smile with him and taught him how to make a snowman. After they’d gone inside and made hot chocolate.

Isaac’s first snow was nothing but good memories.

The second time Isac saw snow he was sitting by the window, swallowed whole by the overly large sweater he was currently wearing and watching it fall with a reverent sort of expression. He heard Peter walk in with groceries. Heard him put them up before Peter padded farther into the apartment. “No hello?” He teased. Isaac could imagine him crossing his arms.That smile on his lips. The one that was a borderline smirk but not quite. Not really. Not towards him.

Isaac continued to start out at the snow and wondered if he wished hard enough would his wish come true.

“Isaac?”

“Hm?”

Peter wrapped his arms around his boy and pulled him close, chin resting on Isaac’s shoulder. “You look a little cold.”

“I’m sure you’ll warm me up.” Though it lacked his normal teasing tone.

Peter inhaled his scent and held him closer. It took a while for Isaac to realize but they were moving. A small smile broke across his lips as Isaac turned in Peter’s arms to face him. “What are you doing?”

“Dancing.”

“There’s no music.”

“Swaying then.”

“There’s still no music.”

Peter sighed dramatically but smiled and kissed the top of Isaac’s head. Not always an easy feat. “The music is our hearts beating.”

“Oh.” Isaac closed his eyes and listened to their own private music. His own arms wrapping themselves around Peter’s neck. “It’s pretty.”

“It’s ours.”

“Yeah.” He agreed quietly. All theirs.

His first snow might have been filled with smiles and laughs and two people he’d never get to see again (his heart ached at the thought) but his first snow with Peter was just as good. If not better in some ways.

Isaac’s third snow was nothing like his first or second one. Now he sat by the window, swallowed whole by the overly large sweater he was currently wearing and watching it fall with a solemn expression. Any second now Peter would be back with some groceries. He’d heard him put them up before Peter would walk over to him, greeting him. “No hello?” He would teased. Isaac could picture that smile of his. The one that was a borderline smirk but not quite.

Isaac continued to start out at the snow and wondered if he wished hard enough would it come true. He closed his eyes and wished it was true. Wished for the warmth of Peter’s arms wrapped around him. Them swaying alone in the apartment again. Cooking whatever new receipt one of them finds.

The overpowering scent of sadness and stale air bring him back from the perfect world in his thoughts and memories. The slowly rotting fruit on the counter mocks him. The pictures on the walls pity him and no one dares bother him.

Isaac shutters, eyes red rimmed and cried out. There was still blood under his nails and a box he wasn’t supposed to know about hidden in the back of their shared closet.

Avenging him didn’t make the hole in his heart any smaller. Ache any less.

Isaac’s first snow was filled with smiles and laughter and so much joy it ached to think about.

Golden eyes took in the expression on Kuroo's face. Furrowed brows, lips pulled down in a quiet frown. "The aquarium still has that exhibit you were interested in." With a few presses of a button Kenma saved his game and slid the 3DS into his hoodie's pocket. "They have air conditioning."  It was almost startling how quickly Kuroo's expression shifted. You would have thought he was suggestion something more than a simple trip to the aquarium. Kenma pulled out his phone and looked up the train schedule. "We could make the 2 o'clock train."

"Kenma you're the best!." Launching himself off the furniture and up the stairs Kuroo quickly changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top. "Oi, Kenam, how long will it take you to- oh didn't hear you come up the stairs. How long will it take you to get ready."

"I am ready."

"Right. Let's go!"  

The train was just as horrible as they'd expected. Lots of people packed close together in a sweltering heat but it was all worth it when Kuroo and Kenma stepped into the nice cool Aquarium. The entrance was a long tunnel  with different tanks all around them. Above them too, much to Kuroo's delight as a stingray swam by. He couldn't help his excitement as a shark swam by in another tank only to come back and hang out right where he was looking. Of course this meant he had to take a selfie with the shark. How could he not?

"Kuroo." The black haired boy turned his attention back to his best friend and the hand resting on his wrist. A light blush settled on his cheeks and not for the first time Kuroo wondered why his heart beat a little faster around Kenma. "This way."

"Uh yeah." He allowed himself to be led farther into the aquarium. The hand on his wrist burned. It burned in a way that made Kuroo's heart beat faster and his pulse race. What if Kenma could feel it? If he could he didn't mention it. Nor did he let go as they walked from tank to tank, pausing at Kuroo's plead to stop and take picture after picture of different ocean creatures. "I swear that sea turtle was eyeing me like food."

"I'm sure it had nothing to do with the way you were taunting it. With food."

"Kitten! You wound me!." The slight dramatization and annoyed looks from surrounding people were well worth it for the small quirk of Kenma's lips. The way they twitched up into a subtle smile. "Oh look a gift shop."

Kenma wasn't sure how long they'd spent in the gift shop but he did know Kuroo spent way too much money.  

"Here."

"What is it?"

"An otter. I heard once they were the cats of the sea." Kuroo grinned and looked away.

Kenma turned the phone charm over in his hand a few times before leaning up on his tiptoes and placing a quick kiss on Kuroo's lips. The surprised look was well worth the flood of embarrassment. Kuroo sputtered for word, speechless before "Kenma?" Finally managed to slip out. He couldn't help but smile at the rare sight.  

"We'll miss our train if we don't hurry." This time when he led Kuroo towards their destination it wasn't by the wrist. This time their fingers were intertwined and the future seemed less uncertain.

“I was thinking about that,“ Sam started waiting until both were looking at him. “What if we used the high school? We could play it over the speakers that way it wouldn’t matter if they were all in one location or not. It would just be a matter of getting them all in to the school.”

The idea had merit, “That could work.” Castiel answered slowly. “You will need a lot of salt to keep any from escaping.”

“Already got it covered.” Dean grinned and patted the black bag by his leg. Huh so that was what he had gone to get a town over. 

The next few hours were spent prepping everything. The plan was simple enough. Sam would be used as the main bait and draw the demons in. Dean would trip the salt once all (or most) were inside. All Castiel had to do was press play. Simple enough though there were holes. 

Of course those holes came back to bite the trio in the ass. Some of the salt bundles didn’t drop when they were supposed to. Demons were on Castiel almost the instant he appeared in the building. In the end Sam gave in and used the demon blood coursing through his veins to exorcise a small handful of demons before Casitle was finally able to get the recording to play. After that it was a symphonies of screams and bodies crashing to the floor. 

Finally in the first few rays of light bathed through the windows they’d succeeded. So why did Castiel feel so hollow? So empty? Brows pulled forward as he tried to place a name on the feeling stirring in his chest, he stumbled forward a few steps unprepared for the pat on the back Dean gave him or the reassuring smile Sam directed his way. Both boys cast in roles neither one wanted. Both doing everything in their power to keep from playing into their destiny. Was that not the definition of free will? 

After seeing them get back to their hotel room safe, Castiel let his mind carry him to where he truly wanted to be. Maybe then he would get the answers needed to understand the whirl of emotions swirling around in his chest. Or were they only echos of emotions left over from his vessel? 

“Castiel, what a nice surprise.” A warm voice greeted him with much warmer eyes. “After so long I was sure you wouldn’t be coming back.” A raised brow before a smile. He must have seen something on his face as Lucifer beckoned Castiel closer with open arms.

The exact place Castiel wished to be most and yet knew he shouldn’t be. Weary legs carried him forward until soft wings were brushing against his face in a comforting reminder of what they use to have. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Castiel was quiet for a long moment, grateful for being unrushed. “Do I need a reason to visit you?”

“You don’t often do things without a reason.” Lucifer answered with a low chuckle. 

“Do we have free will?” He final asked, so quiet he was almost sure the words were lost between them. More often Castiel found himself wondering if he wasn’t following a predestined path laid out. Was he making a difference with anything he was doing or was he simply another puppet whose strings were being pulled at all the right moments. 

“Would you be here without free will?” 

A small smile flickered onto his lips. Such a simple question, one Castiel already knew the answer to. Without free will these meetings would have never started. He wouldn’t continuously feel like he was betraying everything to spend just a few moments here, in the presence of his older brother.

“I’ll take your smile as answer enough.” And it was. 

Carefully a calloused hand carded its way through soft brown hair. Tension slowly faded from his body, “Lucifer...” An answering hum as he titled his head down, brings their lips together in a tender kiss. 

“Would you like to stay the night Castiel?”

“Yes.” Another, answering kiss.

“Wouldn’t you do anything for your own family?” He asked, voice broken though he was not yet beaten.

It had caught enough of Lucifer’s attention to make him pause. A second of sorrow flickered across his eyes.

“Everything I have do has been for them. Tell me Sam, if I brought them back and left them alone would you give up the fight?”

In that second where Sam could have wrestled control back from the Devil himself, he froze. His life, his soul, in exchange for theirs?

He shivered as the answer came easily. “Yes.”

Nothing could have prepared him for what that yes meant. The amount of control he was truly giving up. The look in his brother’s eyes….seeing the last bit of hope and faith dying out in his hazel -or were they green?- eyes and seeing nothing but defeat and longing for death. It broke Sam in so many different ways.

“Promise me he won’t die.”

“I cannot promise that.”

Sam wanted to scream and shout. But he knew Lucifer would not agree to anything he could not honestly keep. The angel that had fallen would not lie. There had to be a joke in there somewhere. So Sam tried again. “Please don’t let him find death at either your hand or a demons.”

Lucifer seemed to consider this for a moment. A smile curled onto his face. And in an instant Sam found himself in the Devil’s embrace. “For you, my dear vessel, I can promise that.”

And then they were gone. Away from Dean and away from the chaos. The world fell into chaos, the death toll grew and angel’s died daily. Until finally there were barely anyone or thing left but demons. Sam tried to block it all out, tried to convince himself he had made the right choice. Dean was alive and that was all that mattered. Every now and then Lucifer would take pity on him and show him Dean. Or show him a happier time. All it did was kill a little bit more of Sam each time until there was nothing left but a shell of a man and the fallen angel who wore him.

“Come now Sam, I have done everything you have asked of me. You should be thrilled that he is still alive and free and not in servitude like so many of the others are.”

“…”

Lucifer frowned and cupped Sam’s face pulling the defeated hunter close and into his embrace. Here in the mental space they shared Sam still preferred to see him as he looked in his last vessel, Nick. At least now it was without the decaying skin. “No don’t be like that my precious vessel. Have I not given you everything you have asked for, if not more?”

“No. You won’t let me go.”

“I do not wish to be alone.”

It was turning into one of their biggest arguments. Sam was weak now, weaker than he’d ever been. No longer a threat to Lucifer and yet the once angel would not let his soul completely parish. He always fought back. Sometimes by making Sam believe he was in the cage and making him experience the anger and loneliness he felt when trapped there. Those were the nights Sam truly believed he would never feel the sun shine again.

It was after one of those caged nights that Sam came back more shaken than ever. In his rage towards Sam, Lucifer let his watchful eye slip and Dean was attacked. A broken cry escaped Sam when he found out. He’d refused to speak for months. Finally Lucifer broke him down by pulling him into a cold embrace and whispering everything he adored about the hunter into his ears. Warming him up and breathing a small portion of life back into the broken boy.

Sam had reasoned away the touches, the embraces and barely there kisses as Lucifer’s twisted way of showing he cared. And Sam, Sam needed those same caresses. In some ways he craved them.

“Can I see De-my brother please?” Saying Dean’s name had quickly turned into a taboo, Lucifer fixating on Dean still as Michael’s true vessel even though the other archangel was locked away in the cage.

“If that is what you wish.” Lucifer waved a hand, nipping at Sam’s collar bone until it was bruised with a mark. A reminded of who he belonged to.