this is how perseus can win.

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

writing a canon divergent fix-it fic while also shaking my head to show that i actually really like the canon's tragic narrative and am not trying to say i think it would be better if canon was like this

sick of "oh this character takes off their baggy clothes and is secretly ripped?!???" MAKE THEM FAT MOTHERFUCKER

you shouldnt have to pay for the dentist. the dentist should pay me for satsifying their weird fetish

i go to the ytp bar and order the usual. the bartender sets a Snoopingas in front of me. i pick it up, raise it to my lips, and set it back down, repeating all of this while gradually accelerating until i have finished the drink. my favorite way to spend a frirfday evenineve

i go to the ytp tennis bar and order the usu. the usuasusual. bart- orders the Snoopingas. the bartender sets a Snoopingas in front of bart-. i pick it up (hey!), and set it back down, and i pick it up, and set it back down, and i raise it-and set it back down, all of this while pea-ing and gradually accelerating until i have finished. *cartoon splat sfx* i repeatedly drink bart-s drink until bart- sets me on FIRE!! *crackling* my favorite waaw to spend a frirfday evenineve. …veve.

y y y i go to the ytp siis bar? *long pause* to order the bartender to set me on FIRE!! The bartender iS Snoop *snoop dog smoke weed song distorted* i pick the PINGAS up (hey!), and set it on FIRE!! *tf2 pyro happy noises* llAll of this while bartender Snoop gradually accelerating and ♪it's the wall, hit the wall!♪ *cartoon splat sfx 3 times, last paulstretched* waw waw waaaw way to drink aT the ytp siis bar on a friirf evenev lAl

@professionalchaoticdumbass