It Definitely Happened, Trust Me

This is actually really funny, because I actually THOUGHT about doing Steve and Peter Quill just to be a little shit because I assumed you meant Steve and Peter Parker. But that’s actually exactly what you were going for. Dear lord.

Okie dokie:

Okay so first of all, Peter “I’m held together by 80′s reference and duct tape” Quill is APPALLED that everyone’s so focused on getting Cap caught up on MODERN stuff but the cultural TREASURE TROVE of the 80′s is being completely ignored. And then he promptly takes it upon himself to fix that.

He gives Steve like seven lovingly made mix tapes with no explanation other than “You’re welcome, man.”

“I thought you said nobody used these,” Steve says to Nat out the side of his mouth.

“They don’t,” she says, baffled. “I don’t know what this guy’s deal is.”

Sam dusts off his casette player so they can check them out anyway. He and Steve have to admit that Quill’s got pretty good taste, format aside.

Initially Steve’s a little wary of the “ freewheeling space criminal who’s a good guy sometimes” schtick, but he catches on real quick that Quill would do anything for his friends, and he respects that.

On the flip side, Peter regularly goes to Clint to whine about “Captain America making me feel like I need to live up to my potential and be a better person, come on man, I didn’t sign up for this shit”.

One time Peter tried to take his ship through a drive through and Steve happened to be on board and he almost lost his damn mind

“Why do these things happen to you?” Bucky asks, exasperated. “That’s not a thing that would ever happen to anyone but you, Steve.”  

Avengers Movie Night is usually entails at least one fight, but Nat and Peter are usually on the same team. Steve always sides with them, because it’s just easier that way.

steve rogers’ idea of a solid 4th of july birthday extravaganza: he screams “SO LIGHT ‘EM UP” and proceeds to set off about 50 fireworks from stark’s landing pad.

all at once.

and then runs down the stairs, stumbling and laughing while tony shrieks in the background and sam swears loudly and natasha and bucky are half-laughing, half-coughing because of the smoke. clint can be heard yelling “HOLY FUCK” because the explosion is so loud, even without his hearing aid. bruce is nowhere to be found because he saw this coming- why didn’t tony listen to him when he said, “steve’s totally going to mess with those. you know that, right?” and thor is clapping and shouting, “a good show, captain! shall we have another bout?”

the next day rhodey and pepper have to march up to the tower and deliver a letter from the mayor that asks something along the lines of “what the hell was that last night?” and the avengers have to make up some lame excuse that the good ol’ captain didn’t realize the fuses these days were electrical (bullcrap and all the avengers know it) and accidentally set them off all at once. how could anyone yell at captain america, the golden boy of the nation? and they get off scot-free.

tony asks jarvis, “did you get that all on tape?” and of course jarvis says yes. they spend the next hour watching it over and over, laughing until their sides hurt. “holy shit did you see sam's face?” "why would you ever think that was a good idea, cap?“

like some transphobic reporter asks him abt his sexuality and he’s “i have been attracted to many of your midgardian genders” and “what” and “my current paramor is genderqueer” “are they male or female” “they are neither of those two genders, that is what i have just said!” “oh well what were they born as“ “oh no, dear friend, u appear to be confusing genderqueer with genderfluid! the lady mystique assures me that these are two very different things, [extremely extended explanation]”

“but what are they biologically?”