PLAN A

grass *getting watered*: nice they want me grass *getting mowed*: getting some very mixed signals here folks

my biggest secret is one time at a party i scared the shit out of everyone by chugging a whole bottle of vodka and everyone was scared as shit and just screaming at me to stop because i hadn’t  really drank that much before and when i was done since we all were so drunk they put me on their shoulders like a king and started chanting my name now everyone still to this day thinks im fucking hard ass bitch and everyone was shocked that i could take so much but its all a lie because i replaced it with water and that is my biggest secret.

you should also know that i was sort of new to the area and like that was my first outing with anyone at the school and that like gave me a title and place and from then on everyone thought i was a hard ass bitch and everyone loved me and i was popular and my whole high school career was a lie because i drank some water. 

snakes (snail snakes) and snails (snake snails)