Beware of Avant-Garde Dog

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

reading this as someone who does cross stitch but is scared of the other kinds of embroidery is like overhearing an incredibly tall and buff person say they have beef with Mr. Tom, the kitten that chills at the bookstore

FUCK Mr. Tom and his stupid little fluffy tail ok. And his little charted designs.

Okay, but this neglects the true villain of embroidery stitches: the French knot

Don't you dare malign my girl again

Ok the french knot is very useful but it is a BITCH to do it consistently

We talk about how this website’s hate mail game is insane, but this might just be a new level

The US is crazy bc like so many people have intense conspiracy theories about the government like "I think there's a secret elite group of people who control everything" and you can tell them "actually you're not completely wrong, it's just not a secret group of people, it's a bunch of rich people and lobbyists who are doing it all out in the open" and they'll be like "hmmn I don't think it's THOSE people though. I prefer my racist & antisemitic theories"

They'll be like "I heard there's a powerful ring of pedophiles who are influencing the country" and you'll tell them "I mean yeah that's what the Epstein files are about" and they'll say "no I'm pretty sure this has to do with The Queers actually"

please reblog this if it is okay to anonymously confess something to you.

Reblog this post to ask mutuals to tell you their weirdest theory about u

when kafka said ‘you wouldn’t believe the kind of person I could become if you wanted it’ and when brontë said ‘if you ever looked at me with what I know is in you, I would be your slave’ and when Sartre said ‘if I’ve got to suffer it may as well be at your hands’

Being very allergic to cats but loving cats so much is just a constant question of "how many allergy symptoms am I willing to put up with in exchange for cuddling this cat" and turns out the answer is quite often "a lot"

Like yes picking up my partner's cat like he's a precious little baby man and carting him around as long as he'll let me will make my eyes itch and give me sneezes and a runny nose even if I take meds but who cares allergies are temporary giving this cat love is eternal

#The trials continue #but the cats remain fluffy

I want to shut up forever but I’m always thinking of more dumb shit to say

already this has tags in the notes like “#anti ai” but... this is just real life with almost everything. this is like grifter 101 please don’t exceptionalize needing to be critical of chatgpt.

This is literally how job interviews work, by the way, and then everyone is surprised the super-duper confident guy is also an incompetent moron.

It’s also where we get “con artist”, aka “confidence artist”. It’s someone who dazzles you with the assurance that they know what they are talking about because they speak with absolute certainty despite not knowing anything. I dare say it’s gotten worse with the internet because text and careful/exciting editing makes people seem more confident than before - and if you think you’re immune, you aren’t.

put “top 5” anything in my ask and i will answer ok go