Give Me Attention

turns out the plot actually was “bride asks her two Commitmentphobic ™ brothers to get dates for her wedding” which, lame

I like my idea, where two gay dudes and two lesbians have to pretend to be straight for an entire weekend 

“I can definitely pretend to be straight,” Lesbian One says, “I successfully pretended to be a straight man for twenty years.”

“No,” her girlfriend Lesbian Two says, “no you definitely didn’t.”

Lesbian Two, who is butch, discovers an eyelash curler. “What is this, a torture device?”

Gay Guy One hooks up with the DJ, the wedding planner, three caterers and the best man. Shenanigans happen as he narrowly avoids getting caught by the bride.

Gay Guy Two, of course, finds himself falling hopelessly in love with the groom.

At the climax of the movie Gay Guy One falls out of the closet where he’s making out with his latest conquest, the florist. The bride screams, eyeliner smearing from tears, about how he’s RUINING HER WEDDING and she didn’t choose to have a brother who was QUEER and why didn’t he ever think about HER and why couldn’t he just pretend to be NORMAL for her SPECIAL DAY–

the groom is like “honey, I’m bi”

the bride says “no, you’re not! you’re marrying me! you’re straight now!”

let’s not kid ourselves. if jews desecrated a christian cemetery, there would be riots. jews would get murdered. but because it’s a jewish cemetery there is no uproar. the world could care less.

“Personally I’d do a ceremonial burning“ NO. NOOOO. NO. We don’t do that. We bury our dead. Research for once.

“Being Jewish doesn’t give your bones special privileges.“ We don’t want special privileges, we want to not be treated like TRASH.

“Who asked you to get all up in arms over bones?“ BECAUSE IT’S MY FAMILY. Grow some empathy and be a decent human being. Who are you to tell us what to be upset about? No one asked you. 

I never said Jewish people burn them, that’s just what I personally would do to spare bones. Another option is relocation.

My point was that I was offering alternatives for dumping the bones. I did not say you 100% should do what I said, but that they were options.

But the word for you is antisemite not goy

The fucking solution is to not build apartments where people are buried.

The fucking solution is to not be like Frankenstein’s monster and get scared over a candle, causing a massive forest fire by trying to put it out but knocking it over instead.

Get a clue, jackass.

And if this was a homeless shelter or tenement apartments, sure. I’d agree with putting lives over corpses.

But it’s not. It’s luxury apartments and I don’t give a flying fuck about the bourgeois. There’s other land that’s not used.

Speaking of, goyishe graves! Let’s use those instead. Somehow, you don’t think the graves of other religions/ethnicities should be desecrated, just ours. Personally, no graves should be desecrated, but goyim always put themselves first.

Like, in no way did that seem remotely intended to be some sort of comparison of jewish people to dogs, just an attempt to use a comparison of ‘poodles vs dogs’ to ‘jewish people vs non jewish* people’, because they used ‘normal people’ instead of ‘non jewish people’, and were trying to clarify??

Idk if they’re shitty in general, I’m gonna leave that up to other, much better qualified ppl to decide.  But that specific facet of this, and how quickly it was jumped on as ‘You just compared jewish people to dogs, wtf’ seems somewhat ridiculous.

It very much sounded like a basic ‘X group is a part of Y group, but when discussing X vs NonX, a separate term is necessary’, which is not in it of itself a particularly bad thing (even if it was probably not handled the best, what with using ‘normal’ as the default term instead of just ‘non jewish people’).

Basically, a square is a rectangle, but all rectangles aren’t squares, so if you’re discussing squares and how they relate to non-squares (within the rectangle category), one option (albeit probably not the best option) is to use rectangles to mean ‘rectangles who aren’t squares’.

It’s ableist to get pissed at people for using comparisons like that to clarify a point, cuz for quite a few people, that’s the most accessible way in which to communicate a concept effectively, is in comparisons and analogies.  Idk if that’s the case in this specific context, but it’s still not great to get pissed at ppl for, whatever the reason they’re utilizing it.

Wiping down my dash at the end of an evening, I see your read-more, over-hear your rant in the tags, so I pour you a drink.

She says tumblr I’m feeling like shit today can you send me some posts for a smile can we talk about slash, can you fill up my dash so I won’t have to think for a while

Laa dahdah didee dah La dahdah didee dah dadum

And sometimes we blog with a beer

And when I proudly boast that I’m older than most, 

do you still have plans for making a longer post about neurodivergence and kink? and a kinky nd person that sounds real interesting

Well, there is the small issue that I like not getting murdered by anti-kink tumblr. However…

Kinks break down into basically two categories, sensory and psychological. Obviously there is overlap; often a person will like a kink for a combination of both.

Stuff like waxplay or impact play (especially involving implements not commonly used in childhood corporal punishment) is more sensory, on the receiving end. (Unless you’re doing it to punish yourself, or as a not-fun punishment. Then it would be psychological.) You do it because you like the sensation, or the way the aftereffects look. Obviously if you’ve got unusual sensory stuff going on, like a lot of neurodivergent people do, you’re more likely to have a sensory kink.

Psychological kinks have to do with emotions. Power dynamics, praise, humiliation, probably most kinks involving uniforms or outfits, much of roleplay. Neurodivergent people experience very high rates of abuse, for various reasons that boil down to ableism and/or it being unusually easy to fuck with our realities. A good way to deal with abuse is to reenact it in a controlled environment where you get to change things. Sometimes that’s a therapist’s office, but a kink scene can also work pretty well. If you’re dealing with the kind of “depressurization” that’s like “if no one’s hurting me, something even more extra bad is about to happen,” being hit or humiliated but in a way so you can stop it whenever you need to, every once in a while, is a good way to deal with that feeling, for some people. If you feel compelled to obey orders and a bit lost without them, a kink scene or power exchange relationship is a lot healthier than getting sucked into a cult or abusive relationship while seeking that kind of direction. Or if you simply need to be overwhelmed until your brain shuts up, there’s that, too, though that starts to get into the sensory stuff as well, or if you want to be cared for more than adults usually are for a bit. On the other side of power dynamics, if you need to feel in control of your environment or of other people, kink can do that, and make sure that whoever you order around wants to be ordered around. Or similarly with aggression.

Did I mention how great safewords and so on are? Like, you’ve got a whole set of scripts for whether you like what’s going on and if you’re good, or if you want it to slow down or stop. If something goes wrong or you start to melt down, you don’t have to explain; you can just say your safeword and calm down and explain later, when you actually can. Additionally, a lot of us have been through some kind of compliance training or other situations where we weren’t allowed to say “no” or “stop”–often to the point of literally being unable to say those words as verbs, even years later–and getting to say “no” or “stop” without actually having to make ourselves say “no” or “stop” is a great way to get back that kind of control so that eventually we can say those words.

And sometimes people just make unusual psychological links of things -> sex without any trauma at all. Neurodivergent people are a bit more likely to do this, probably. (Particularly if you have something that causes hyperfixation and/or strong emotional responses, like OCD or autism. The line between disgust and arousal can be a damned three-dimensional squiggle. And then like as not it’s something horrifically embarrassing that six-year-old you was morbidly fixated on without even knowing that it could end up being about sex someday, and that is almost impossible to find porn of. Seriously, somebody go back in time and smack me with a hammer.)

And then there’s where psychological and sensory mix. This is really, really common. An example might be a bondage dominant who is turned on by both the look of the ropes on their partner and also the sense of control over another person. Another would be someone who’s turned on by the taste of boot leather but also by how humiliating it is to lick someone’s boots, or how they’re serving the dom with the boot-licking. And so on, and so on. Just mix the stuff about neurodivergence from above accordingly.

Like????  I’m continually so pissed that the anti-kink movement has spread so easily to include stim blogs, not just cuz it’s mean and sex shaming, but cuz like!!!!  Stimming and kinks seem like such an obvious pair to me??  Like I know I’ve seen ppl talk about how yes, officially, masturbation could be a stim, but they only seem to talk about it when it’s convenient.

It pisses me off that anti-kink stim blogs are so common, esp cuz they’ll get all ‘Oh see, now they’re making kink friendly stim blogs, cuz they’re sexualizing stimming!!’  Like, no, we just know that stimming is p fucking useful if you have anxiety or trauma, and guess what a fuck ton of kinksters (especially littles) have??

Kinks are one of my special interests, too!!!!  I have a lot of my own, all tied up with neurodivergence and trauma and whatnot.  But I love to hear about and learn neat facts about kinks I’m not particularly into, too!!  I pressure stim all the time, and bondage is, yeah, /amazing/ for it.  Mild choking, too.

Also, I’m autistic, and loaded with mental illness and trauma and more physical illnesses.  And I’ve had this issue where I would probably benefit wildly from some type of low key caregiver, but I feel kind of uneasy about paying someone for those types of services, and the US is generally terrible about any ability for me to access those resources without surrendering any and all types of autonomy.

But!!!!!!!!  I’m also a little, and lemme tell you, it is so so so reassuring, like this huge weight has been fucking lifted, that there are ppl out there, ppl who I could be emotionally, intimately close to (which is infinitely more comfortable to me than paying someone), who actually /want/ to provide the care and support and structure I need!!!!  I can be taken care of in the ways I want and need, by ppl who want and need to take care of me.

Also yeah, safe words are great.  I managed to avoid any compliance training, but I still have lots of anxiety with speaking up about things I’m uncomfy about in the moment.  The fact that I could be in a dynamic where I have a script, and where my dom(s) could regularly /check in on me unprompted/, check if I remember my safe word, if I need to use it, is /phenomenal/.

You can’t tell how old a kid is just by looking. I’ve known multiple 5th graders who were taller than I am, and I’m 25 years old. With their faces hidden by masks, you won’t be able to tell they’re elementary schoolers, but they still are. 

Lots of older siblings are expected to take their younger siblings trick-or-treating, and they only get paid in candy. 

You don’t know if that teenager is developmentally disabled. 

You don’t know if that teenager spent most of their childhood in a hospital or sick and has never had the traditional trick-or-treat experience before.

You don’t know if this is that teenager’s first Halloween in America, and they just want to experience a piece of American culture.

You don’t know if that teenager ever gets candy any other day of the year. 

You don’t know if that teenager has eaten anything at all today. 

One is the “obvious” kind. It’s the covered bruises and stories of falling down and bumping into everything. It’s the already thin girl turning to bones. It’s the screaming and throwing things. It’s the loud, the cops have been called, in your face.

One is the “accepted” kind. It’s the spankings as a child. It’s the fat person constantly being told to go on a diet. It’s prioritizing your Significant Other over and over and over again while you let yourself be chipped away. It’s the “you’re not able to have friends when would you have time” kind of abuse as you’re isolated slowly from everyone and everything you cared about. It’s the “I accept you as you but I won’t stand by you while doing so.”