Im Back I Guess

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

this sucks im going to kill (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) the president of the United States. (end statement)

Sorry for calling your wedding hetslop

“cheated on” and “megan thee stallion” in the same sentence is nasty work all men have is audacity……thats so crazy seriously are u out of ur fucking mind……..i hope she has a good hot girl summer like oh she needs it bad

tiramisu

paper and pen seems so powerful now. on account of all the. surveillance