Havenβt seen the vampire lestat yet and I donβt need to because I know itβll just be this

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@aunt-agony
Havenβt seen the vampire lestat yet and I donβt need to because I know itβll just be this

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4 separate brentalfloss comics either directly about or alluding to travis mcelroy masturbating
thereβs no need to remind me a year later that i spent a good chunk of my day reading brentalfloss comics for this post. absolutely none of them are good and they are all illustrated by andrew dobson
collecting tweets
#vessel alert
that's right
Things have gotten so P.C. nowadays that you can't even call a forklift a forklift. Suddenly, every piece of "power lifting equipment" in your shop needs a special name. Even the mutant bullshit like telehandlers don't want to be called something cool like zoom-booms anymore.
The other day, the intern and I are out at Subway. Van saying "lift trucks" comes by. Picture on the side? You guessed it. Forklift.
"Skip," my intern explains - I don't like to be called boss, and he's nice and doesn't do that - "that's what the manufacturers want us to call them now. A forklift is too reductive, obscures nuance. Imagine if you had a huge shop full of these things, you'd need to know the difference between a reach truck and a stacker."
He makes an excellent point, which I admit by silently chewing on my Mesquite Chicken Power Bowl. I have ordered it meticulously, in order to accommodate my unique dietary needs. Some people think that's unimportant, and I should just get one of the combos and not explain myself to the Sandwich Artist every time. They're wrong, it's critical that I be recognized for who I am. Safer for everyone, too.
Even though it draws so much embarrassment when I misname the things, I just can't get over how every forklift insists on its own special name. My grandfather never had to put up with that kind of nonsense. He'd just get out there in the morning, lift up a car with whatever he had on the jobsite, and steal the catalytic converter. Then he'd go to the bar, and sob in the bathroom for a couple of hours at home by himself without ever explaining to any of us what was going on. Probably saw all this coming.

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If ever you get tired of responding to questions about "rp-forward" games with verbosity and pedantry (which, to be clear, heaven forfend you do, I love reading those posts) may I humbly suggest the (in my opinion highly entertaining) alternative of telling people "Good Society will probably work for you" and refusing to elaborate?
You know for a fact that if I ever resorted to a bit like that it would be Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine.
#I am only vaguely familiar with the game #why would recommending Chuubo's be a bit in this case? (via @moltensludeinbrainattack)
The structure of the game manages to hit a remarkable number of features that folks who think "RP forward" actually means something and isn't just a marketing phrase would typically regard as categorically excluding a system from being "RP forward", while looking nothing like the kind of game you'd tend to picture based on those features.
You don't want the mechanics sticking their nose into every little thing? Chuubo's is so intensely preoccupied with mechanising the mundane that forming intentions to do things is a rules-mediated action. There are specific target numbers for stuff like "do it correctly", "look like you actually know what you're doing", and "be happy with the result", and without a relevant skill or resource expenditure, the best outcome you can ordinarily achieve is "make everything worse".
You want to do stuff because it "makes sense for your character", and not because it gives the most points? As far as Chuubo's is concerned, those are the same thing. Just living your everyday life is framed as a kind of quest, with milestones and XP triggers and whatnot; this is a game where you might actively look for excuses to "have a conversation in a poorly lit place" or "gaze contemplatively over a large body of water" because your personal quest line awards XP for doing that.
You want a game that will let you make up whatever character you want and doesn't expect you to faff about with "classes" and "levels" and such? Not only does Chuubo's effectively have both of those things, it's so strongly opinionated about what sorts of characters are appropriate that it recommends you use pregenerated characters until you get a good feel for the milieu. One of those pregens has a character sheet that's twenty pages long β and you might assume that means most of it is just a big tedious lore dump, but it's not.
And on top of all that, it's not combat focused (because it has no formal combat system) and doesn't ask you to roll dice all the time (by dint of the technicality that it's a diceless system), so it can't readily be dismissed as "not RP forward" on any of the usual grounds. It's a slice of life game about adolescent gods attending high school. The kid who owns the titular Wish-Granting Engine can turn into a giant snake.
@caseyuptobat replied:
The only reason to actually play this game beyond novelty is if you have a supreme case of writer's block and are running behind to turn in a manuscript of an azumanga-esque 4koma chapter
Not true.
It's also a very solid choice for running Homestuck.
@bobafloutist replied:
Would you say the game is fun?
I certainly have fun with it. Take that for what it's worth, in light of what you know about the kind of person that I am.
opened the comments on a post and tumblr somehow had a half written comment already autofilled from the last time I saw that post. which was at least two years and several computers ago. what does this site's back end look like
tumblr is going to gain sentience 100 years before any fuckass genAI comes close. this site runs on mold spores.
Passed the White Pharaoh on the freeway
as annoying and off the mark as i find the truly hardline obsessive anti AI people i do like watching tech companies lose money and their ceos whine about it. wahhh wahh people don't actually want our product and it's hurting our bottom line and people online are meaaaan about it. ok dipshits isnt that the free market y'all're so obsessed with. try making shit that doesnt suck
i wish drawing was a real thing that you could actually do

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Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs
a lil tomato soup made from roast tomato, onion, garlic and bell pepper with a lil grill ches. regular marble cheddar, some farmers market truffle cheddar, and a lil pickle for the filling. bread is a sourdough pullman's loaf recipe of my own design
man it is SO funny that everyone's still cycling this post considering that the meal poisoned the shit out of me
turns out the bread i baked there had started to mold, the cheddar cheese had started to mold, and the chicken stock I used for the soup's best before date was over a year ago. I found all of this out a day or so later and I'm now still dealing with the gastroenteritis symptoms
everyone in here would have gotten poisoned if I'd brought this to the potluck, good to know
Rhizopus sp./Mucor sp. (mold)
ive been in here so long........
Iβm not trying to be rude, but she just looks fucking stupid
indoors now, and sheβs back at it

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wishing all of our lgbtqia+ friends a safe and happy pride monthπ©·β€οΈ π§‘πππ©΅ππ
step one: replace entire personality with open, festering wound
step two: contort absolutely all stimuli in my environment to relate to the my wound in some manner, ideally one which justifies random acts of unbridled aggression and vengeance
step three: marry a girl with generational wealth