What's A Sideblog?

im the dj screaming w laughter

I think about this at least once a day.

working in customer service be like

I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS THE OTHER DAY. I SUMMONED IT!

murder literally doesnt hurt anyone

You can ask anyone who has been murdered and they literally have nothing to say on the topic. It clearly doesn’t matter to them

did u know: according to scientists, in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria and becomes the haunted house of the cell

This should not have made me laugh

As a scientist I can confirm

you know whats a good trope? when a character sarcastically says “what should we do? [proposes outlandish and foolish plan]” and the next scene is them mid-execution of said outlandish and foolish plan

#prime execution of this is still #WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO #DRESS IN DRAG AND DO THE HULA??? (x)

Modern day Sysiphus

the best part is at the end when you can hear the dispenser go again

did U GUYS KNOW, that the way stores get the balloons off of the ceiling is with ANOTHER balloon, w tape on the top??? and they just dont cut the string so it’s like super long and u gotta aim it right n reel it in. i just found that out today when i DID IT and it’s been the best working day of my life i had a blast blowing up balloons and fetching some off the ceiling. i had so much power? and NO ONE ELSE in my department likes that job so now it’s MY job when need be

omg so I work at a museum and one of our buildings has a) very high ceilings and b) a bizarrely sensitive alarm system that will go off if anything touches the ceiling. Because of this, helium balloons are considered public enemy #1 and are strictly forbidden from entering the museum. But just in case an illicit balloon is successfully smuggled in, the museum has acquired a fucking b.b. gun for the express purpose of shooting down rogue balloons.

lawful good vs chaotic good

nah. fuck you *throws awful ingredients into your stock and ruins your soup beyond repair*

Im.sorry I’ve lived my entire life not realizing that echolocation could possibly be felt and I have to come to terms with the fact that whales have sonic attacks

Y’all this is hilarious I’m crying

@emilreloaded

I keep going back to this video

Character development

no. you know what? fuck you. *uncaramelizes your onions*