Your hopes have become my burden.

my flatmate told me that theres this cat always around at the uni campus, often in the library (it even has its own library card) 

Some times, you may not think you’ll have your own life because of this. You might think all of your good moments and all of your milestones will be confined to the box inside your host’s head, or that theyll simply be robbed because you simply don’t have your own body.

These are the times you have to cling closest to remembering the days you spent with, or imagining days spent speaking to friends who understand; use your name, ask you how you are and not mean the system, who will remember things about you, just you. Even if that fails, remember the days when you found just the right clothes, or the perfect food, the things that solidified you against them. These are the things you should grasp til your knuckles are white when the fear takes you from under your diaphragm and inside your ribcage, when it yanks you to the ground and all you can think of are the things you won’t do.

sit up straight

shoulders back 

chest forwards

raise your arms, fingertips towards the sky

stretch gently

feel free to slowly twist to the left, then to the right

then breathe in deep and down to your belly

feel your rib cage open up, your tummy expand

relax your shoulders, biceps at your ears

and breathe out slowly in a continuous soft stream

breathe in again

let the air sink into your lungs, all the way down

and breathe out

breathe in

breathe out