shorts

You know what makes my heart hurt?

When two people know each other so deeply.

They know what the other is thinking before they even say anything. They can finish each other’s sentences. They can provide what they need, without them needing to ask. They can be in perfect sync without uttering a word between them.

I think that’s we’re looking for in the world.

Someone who understands what you want or need when you don’t have the energy to explain yourself. Someone who can read you like an open book when you are completely closed. Someone who can tell you’re feeling down before you even realize it yourself.

Someone who will make you get up when you feel like there’s no reason to get up. Someone who will make you eat when you don’t feel the need, because you need to eat.

Someone who can make you feel comfortable when everything hurts.

Someone who understands you.

Once Upon a Broken Heart by Stephanie Garber

This is the first of a trilogy. Excuse me, an ⚡️amazing⚡️ trilogy. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited for a final installation! I will review book #2 right after this, haha.

I think I enjoyed this book so much because I can relate heavily to Evangeline. She is a romantic, through and through. Although she had her heart broken, she doesn’t stop believing in true love. Jacks is the perfect anti-hero. He’s charming and witty and it’s so easy to forget that he does things for selfish reasons. The chemistry between the two of them is just *S W O O N*. It’s easy to follow but it’s still complex and it just makes my heart happy and sad at the same time. 🥀

The beginning is captivating. The explanation of the world is easy to understand- the idea of Fates, magic, curses- it is all explained perfectly. I found the idea of the curse being unspeakable to be unique and interesting. It forces you to think about what is really the truth and makes you double guess yourself! I’m so glad I read this book when the second installment came out because it ends in a cliffhanger that made me instantly start the next one!

I have done this every time but I would seriously give this book all the hearts in the world-

100/5 hearts

They’re always together. Like. Always. That’s how I know them. I see them around a lot, always together. You know how you get into a routine, and, after a while, you notice all the same people around the same places around the same time? It’s just like that. I always see them around the same place at around the same time. They’ll be in the dining hall when I’m coming back from my first class on Tuesdays or walking around campus on Wednesday evenings. But always together. It’s like they’re conjoined at the hip. Maybe that’s why they caught my eye.

The first time I saw him alone, I was surprised. I recognized his green sweater. It was a bright, spring green and made him stand out like a sore thumb. He was in line for a burrito at the shop just off campus. The shop was famous for their affordable yet extremely filling burritos. I didn’t care for them much, so I never went back. He was two people in front of me in line. I kept expecting her to emerge from the bathroom or outside, but she never came. His voice was deeper than I thought it would have been. He got cheese, rice, double chicken, and nothing else. What a plain burrito.

Since then, I have noticed them separately. It’s usually only during the day that I see one or the other, so I figure it’s because they have classes at different times. I mostly see her so maybe he just doesn’t go to class. I had seen them walk to classes together in the beginning of the semester, but now it’s only once in a while that they go into a classroom together. I bet she likes walking alone. I’ve noticed that she practically runs to keep up with him when they walk together.

She’d walk by herself with earphones in her ears and her backpack on her back. When I see her walking alone, I figure that the guy must really not like going to class. I don’t see why he wouldn’t go. He’d get to spend more time with her.

It’s weird, though. I have this feeling that they’re dating. I’ve noticed them leave a room together, hair messy and clothes untidy. They had red cheeks and a refreshed smile on their face. It was so obvious what they just did.

But they couldn’t be dating. I saw her one night- walking, clearly from a party- an assumption based on her clothes and how freely she walked (and stumbled). But he wasn’t with her. It was another guy. He was taller and his shoulders were broader. And they were swinging their hands together.

Fake it 'til you make it is a real thing.

That’s how I gained confidence.

That being said, I don’t go around boasting about myself. I’m still an awkward little thing with a small backbone but I am confident in most things I do. People take my words for what they are, no questions asked, because I am confident when I say it. Since I proved to myself that I can be enough for people- my confidence grew.

You can fake anything!

Including happiness.

Being happy is tough. Especially when because it’s easier to be sad. But you can’t do that. You can’t let sadness drag you down.

So you need to fake it. Just pretend.

It is tough to do. Faking, I mean. Obviously. It is hard, and sometimes impossible, to be something you’re not. But if you can master it, you can get away with so much. For example, take that Leonardo DiCaprio movie, Catch Me If You Can (which was actually based off a semi- autobiographical book by Frank Abagnale Jr). It follows Frank, a charming teenager, scamming people as he pretended to be a pilot, a doctor, a teach, and an attorney. He just faked his way out of situations by pretending and now he has his own legitimate security company!

I find it funny that controlling parents are surprised when their kid does something reasonable. Like eating something healthy or reading a book instead of using an electronic device. Like, come on. Nobody wants to eat overly sugary stuff all the time. Everyone’s eyes most definitely hurt after staring at a screen for a long period of time. At some point, they will get sick of “bad things”. They will moderate their food and activities if they are not forced to all the time. Parents do not need to regulate every little thing their child does. If you raise them right, without too many boundaries regarding every little thing, they will know how to act. If they don’t like something, the chances of them doing that same thing again is very slim. 

The worst part is when parents are surprised that other kids talk to their parents. It shouldn’t be surprising. Your child wanting to talk to you, the parent, shouldn’t be surprising. Parents often play off their child not talking to them because ‘they’re being a teenager/going through a phase’. If it is surprising, you- as a parent- need to change how you parent. That is your child. You are the closest person to them. If they do not want to talk to you, it is because they feel like they can’t talk to you. Whether it is because you create an unwelcoming environment where they do not feel comfortable talking or because they think you will punish them for what they say or just ignore them. You are the one or two people that your child has known their entire life and if they do not want to talk to you, it’s not because they do not want to talk to you. It’s because they do not feel comfortable talking to you.

If you respect your kid, if you raised them right and know that they are smart enough to act right, let them live. They’ll do the right thing if you let them live their life. Kids need parents to guide them, not control them.

he lifts his eyes and meet mine.

my breath stops.

i gaze into those green orbs,

they are beautiful-

shining emerald with flecks of gold.

i was so lost in the beauty that i didn’t realize

as i looked into those eyes,

it wasn’t him.

what i saw

was

pretending to be okay

pretending to be interested in things i’m not interested in

you

life

Have you ever been in a relationship where you knew it wasn’t anything long-lasting? It could be kind of special and you could really like the person you’re with but there’s just nothing there. There was never a full click.

But you ignore it and just enjoy the time you have together. Enjoy being with someone you like, enjoy seeing their cute face all the time. Enjoy the hand holding and kisses, enjoy the fact you would make their knees weak, make their dick hard or their pussy wet. Enjoy being wanted by someone, being on their mind.

Then the day comes. You were just enjoying things but they’re acting weird and they leap into this whole speech. All of which could be explained in one sentence.

“We should break up.”

Of course, there are reasons and you knew this was bound to happen. You guys never clicked. You were bound to break up and now it’s happening- it’s actually happening. You are sad that they don’t want to be with you anymore but you understand it because you two are just different, not meant to be. That’s alright. It happens. They ask you if there’s anything you want to say, what you think about your relationship, but because you guys don’t mesh, you say you understand. You don’t know what else to say. It’s totally rational that they want to break up.