#comedians

…and the vet was like, “You know the thing with geriatric cats is—” and I was like, “What do you mean, geriatric?! It’s a little baby, look at her!" Kumail Nanjiani: Night Thoughts (2025)

I guess Joe Rogan said there was some high school where there was a kid identifying as a cat, which is bullshit. I was Mr. Mistoffelees for one semester.

They don’t look like people who were just involved in an active shooter situation where someone was shot- they look like they are all on the apprentice show.

The plan was to create chaos, make it all about him and to distract from all of the shit he is in. And it worked. Loose security. A madman. And boom- a press conference that will dominate the news cycle in a positive way until the world wakes up again to the monster in the White House.