im a protected species you fucking asshole

shlock brain hurt

not his name.

shamrock going proper mental innit

not even his name.

the weird schrödinger's emotion that is "that character death was narratively satisfying and emotionally impactful and ultimately the best way to handle their character arc" simultaneously with "noooo but I wanted them to live :( :( :("

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

Reminds me of the time I accidentally punched a bee trying to walk up hill. Sorry man

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

For thousands of years humanity has selectively bred chickens to have larger breasts and to have to lay eggs constantly. We did it to get more meat and per chicken, but from the perspective of the domesticated chickens they’re sorta living in a very specific fetish scenario

trans bears are literally stronger than any US marine

How on earth would they be able to tell that a bear is trans. I’m not saying they can’t be but how would they communicate that.

:/

this is so fucking funny

we the jury find the defendant not guilty your honor

I found this very funny because I had the same thought

twilight princess funniest zelda game ever made

one of the reoccurring minor plots is that a 3 year old with the mental capacity of an adult is trying to abolish capitalism in the big city. there's a yeti couple living in an abandoned mansion and the guy yeti is like 10 times the size of and more visibly monstrous than the girl yet they made him a malewife. you can collect insects for a little girl that is insane about them and gives you strange and off-putting dialogue about each bug everytime you give her one and practically threatens you if you try to leave her home without giving her bugs she doesn't have yet. one of the modes of transportation in this game is being shot out of a giant canon by a depressed clown and landing on your feet with no injuries. there's a spaghetti western style minigame where the objective is to talk to 20 different cats. a chicken attempts to flirt with link. they made tingle into a sexyman caricature.

Every time someone says that Twilight Princess is too grimdark and serious, I want to point them to this post. It’s a very silly game.

I want to carry them around in a bandolier

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek