Frogs made me gay

The kid and her lawyer were about the only humans there. For fucks sake, they’re kids.

Hold up where? Which comic op?

Wait what?? Did this really happen?? Links and Sources op pretty please?

God I hate these fucking floating monoliths. They always go, like, 10mph below the speed limit and if you try to pass them they just fucking distort reality around them until you're back behind them again. One of them cut me off on the highway once and when I honked it banished me to a hoary netherworld where I wandered, lost and alone, for untold centuries, trapped in the liminal space between what could have been and what never was, black stars dotting the bright infinity yawning out around me as I drove out of thought and time, through endless ruined cities and blighted lands unmarked by the sun's cold rays, and when I finally got out I was more than 20m late for my dentist appointment and they had to reschedule me.

hospitals are a scam because they dont even give your blood back after taking it to do tests. like come on

the testing process is uh... extremely destructive you really don't want the results of it back in fact, if anyone offers to put it back, that's a threat.

i literally see the red around your mouth you drank it you fucking dracula. you cant fool me

reblog to give warm bread to your mutuals

When i used to work at Whole Foods i would make and freeze my sandwiches for the week but since frozen lettuce is an abomination and a whole head of lettuce is Way too much for a single broke college student who doesn't even really like salad that much, each lunch break i would go to the by-weight salad bar and carefully purchase one single small lettuce leaf. All of my coworkers mocked me relentlessly for it but it cost like $0.01 and half the time it was too light for the scale so they'd just shove it towards me like "Just take it, man." Through such cunning means i probably spent like a dollar total on lettuce in 2 years

just saying. we got a lot in common, the humble betta fish and I

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

G O O S E

there are two punchlines here, the first is predictable, the second really surprises you

Unmute

I've posted this before, but every time I've seen it since I can't stop watching it repeat over and over. Like the man says, "Unmute"

Mutuals do this.

this guy is so unbelievably good at making music videos of himself dancing with himself in different outfits