astrolev

(CW: mentions of violence/injury)

Sirius had scared Remus plenty of times since they’d met as children, almost daily. Every time he hopped on that motorbike, or came back from Grimmauld Place broken and silent, or cast that cruel glare his way when he was angry.

None such as this, Remus realized, as those grey eyes filled with tears and the wand in his neck dug further.

He stood at the threshold of the Order headquarters, James and Lily covered in soot behind Sirius, whose wand hand was trembling but still firmly pointed at Remus’ throat.

“W-Where..”, Sirius’ breath was shallow, “Where’d you grow up?”. Remus looked down at him, confusion mingling with panic, what was happening?

“I.. What? I don’t understa—“,

“Answer the fucking question!”, Lily snapped, her wand rising as well.

“—Solva, Wales!”,

Sirius’ eyes darted frantically to James and back again. His wand did not lower. Remus noticed distantly that it hurt to stand, and he could hear his own heartbeat, and Sirius’ nose was bleeding and everything smelled like smoke. And he was tired..

“Moony?”, Sirius’ voice was warbled now, a tear streaking the side of his face and cutting through the dust there. Remus felt sick. “When is our anniversary? The real one?”.

He could almost laugh. They’d argued about this endlessly. Sirius considered it the date they first kissed, but Remus was adamant that it was the day he’d properly asked Sirius out.

“December 17th 1976”, Remus said as firmly as a he could. The damp winter evening he had stumbled over his words and invited the man clutching a wand to his pulse for a pint at the Three Broomsticks felt a world away.

Hesitantly that wand was removed, and even more carefully pocketed. Then there was only the labored breathing of James and Lily against the crumbling wall.

Sirius’ hands lay limp at his sides for barely a moment before Remus chucked caution out the window and engulfed him tightly in his arms.

“What happened?”, the sound was almost swallowed in Sirius’ hair, but James answered, “Death Eaters.”

Well Remus could tell that much from the destroyed beams and furniture and smoke but why did— “Disguised to look like Gid and Fab. Polyjuice… Can’t be sure who’s actually who”.

One of James’ lenses was cracked, there was a bruise forming on his jaw. And a bit of Lily’s hair was singed, so were her clothes. Remus pulled away just enough to see Sirius, gingerly he wiped the blood that dripped onto his lip away with a his thumb.

Her trying to learn every skill and everything about the culture to try to impress them and not letting anyone help her out. Her actually being able to pull through most of it but having a massive breakdown over the tiniest mistake.

Effie finding her in that state and hugging her as tight as she can all while telling her that she doesn't need to prove anything to anyone cuz she is the smartest, the kindest and the most lovable person ever and the most perfect beti (daughter) that she could've ever asked for.

Is there a way to address callouts about your fics like this without invalidating their trauma?

yes, tell them:

“I’m sorry about what happened to you. but no matter how tragic your story is, the world does not revolve around you. people — strangers — don’t have to censor themselves in order to cater to your personal comfort.

if you don’t like something or are triggered by something, and if you go out of your way to seek those things, so you can be triggered by them, then that is entirely on you. no one forces you to read what you don’t want to read.

not to mention, a lot of victims and survivors use dark fiction to help them cope and heal from their trauma. just because dark fiction does not help you heal does not mean you have the rights to invalidate how other victims and survivors heal from their own trauma.

and just because you personally are triggered by dark fiction does not mean you have the rights to force other people — whether or not they themselves were victims — to censor themselves in order to cater to your personal comfort.

that is not how freedom to create works. that is not how the world works.

again, the world does not revolve around you.

what happened to you is terrible, but it does not give you the rights to be entitled, it does not give you the rights to harass or shame other people who are just minding their own business, people whose actions do not harm anybody in real life in any way, shape or form.

it is your job and your responsibility to curate your own internet experience by blocking, muting, filtering out what you don’t want to see.

---well what about regulus who's happy for sirius? who misses him, sure, may even be a little bitter; but is ultimately happy for sirius. who doesnt want to leave; but knows that the house and the family is draining sirius; who sees a lighter step in sirius' walk; a lighter laugh when he's away; in a way that he only used to see when it was just sirius and regulus.

what about regulus who doesnt get sirius; doesnt understand how he doesnt want to try in the family, doesnt want to try over and over; but regulus who may not have realized yet that their parents arent good for him either, but can see that theyre hurting sirius.

what about regulus who doesnt get it, but loves sirius and is happy for him; who smiles shyly at him after he leaves, happy when sirius smiles back.

what about regulus who didn't reach out to sirius in his death, not because he didnt think sirius would care; but because he knew he would. and thought it was better that no one knew the truth; if no one stumbled upon his findings. if no one got targeted because of him. if no one tried to avenge him.