meet ugly wolfstar who both reach for the same faded band tee in a thrift store at the exact same time. their hands touch they look up and lock eyes. neither lets go.
there is a long tense silence before sirius narrows his eyes. âyou listen to them?â
remus scoffs. âobviously.â
another pause. then, with all the gravity of a man defending his doctoral thesis: âokay. name five songs. and you canât use the most popular one.â
remus looks personally offended. âthatâs your test?â
âif youâre wearing the shirt, i need to know youâre not a poser.â
âyou shop at thrift stores wearing leather pants.â
âanswer the question.â
so remus does. immediately.all five songs. release years included. sirius is visibly startled.
âokay, fine,â he says. âname the original bassist.â
âbefore or after the lineup change in â78?â
siriusâs eye twitches. they spend the next twenty minutes escalating. favorite deep cuts. best live performances. which album was unfairly overlooked. neither of them actually believes half the things theyâre saying anymore. theyâre just trying to win.
eventually the cashier walks over and goes, âis anyone actually planning on buying the shirt?â
without breaking eye contact, sirius says, âthat depends on whether he can name the producer.â
remus says, âthat depends on whether he can name the producer.â
and thatâs how they accidentally spend three hours in a thrift store and leave together without the shirt. because neither of them can remember where they put it