grapevine

mm, well you know what they say, better a filthy hobo than a dashing young lad who might rock your world a little too hard. though, if i had to put a finger on it, my guess is that it has something to do with the hobo’s being able to charm anyone’s pant’s off and our strapping tuff boy’s idea of charming someone is to give them a bloody nose. 

looks like romance is in full bloom for astra’s favorite (and only!) couple in the city of barcelona — passion is in the air, and we can smell a soulful serenade from the initative’s resident guitarrista soon. but the real question is: how soon? we’re getting impatient, lovebirds, and we need to know: are we waiting for a “just got together” post, or are you both going to stay “just friends”? remember, we’re watching...

carla made out with a hot dog once.

ugh. like i actually care to know? god, no. knowing hook, there’s so many ways he could have lost his finger and quite frankly, none are possibilities i care to know about. unless, her royal majesty decided to chop off a limb, i can’t think of an theory that isn’t disgusting, raunchy, or kinky — all of which i don’t have time for. 

listen — i know hooky’s a bit of a sass master and a wild card, but i highly doubt he lost his finger just by flipping it off. unless his finger was attached to the knuckle by just the sinew, i doubt that’s how. i heard someone bit his finger off because he absolutely hated the guy — charlie who?

ugh, totally agree with you there. belle, honey, i love you, even with your obnoxiously long name; but this isn’t a taylor swift song where the right person’s been in love with you and you don’t notice because you’re sooo busy finishing lord of the rings or whatever. frodo didn’t take the ring to mordor by himself, you know! surely there’s a book out there titled how to make friends out there, right? i’m sure someone will love your small-town amélie/zooey deschanel vibe one way or another.

ooh, are you trying to get us to play matchmaker again? i totally agree, though. silas may be a looker, but c’mon… he’s just going to keep hurting bambi time and time again without ever realizing it. unless someone gives bambino a sandy-in-grease style makeover, i don’t think jorgenson’s getting a hot for bestie boner any time soon; and even then, malia and whoever else silas is planning to fuck is still in the picture. now tate and bambi? that’s something i can get by. hopefully ‘tuff stuff’ gets the memo soon — i hear there are tons of romantic things you can do in barcelona.

i’m sure mommy and daddy can buy the entire compound if they wanted to, but i have no fuckin’ clue why she acts all high and mighty and shit when she’s been here for like... three days, at the most. she doesn’t even know anyone! if she can’t even handle thinking or hell, doing things for herself, she should just call up her private jet to fly her back to brazil stat. this shit is real life, princess. you don’t need someone to assist you to the toilet.

you’re telling me! i don’t know if it’s some kind of weird twin thing where he’s desperate for her attention all the damn time, or he could possibly be just plain jealous of #rubiolo. boy needs to find something (or someone) to take his mind off of them. any volunteers?

victoria can ditch her betrothed and marry me instead.

shannon is the only real bitch around here.

madden is straight up kooky dooks.