Mmmm Sippy Sody

doomscrolling thru the weather app

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

when i get to heaven the real gun emoji will be there waiting for me

the problem with parents is that they are undiagnosed

me after a minor inconvenience: i hope i get hit by a [remembers i’m anti car-centric infrastructure] pedestrian

in class and we were told to pull up chatgpt on our laptops to experiment with and the guy in front of me pulled up a deli menu and started looking at sandwiches

the two headed calf smoking twice as many marlboro red core packs as usual

Isnt this how we lost the recipe for roman concrete

looking at jobs is like vintage toothpick sorter entry level immediate start ..... wow maybe I could be a vintage toothpick sorter.... *starts to envision a future where I am deeply involved in vintage toothpick sorting* *scrolls down* "5 years vintage toothpick sorting required Minimum!" *my dreams of vintage toothpick sorting dissolve into dust"

still believe that one of the greatest bits of all time was on January 6th, 2021 when. well. you know. and twitter was understandably an echo chamber of panic and fear and Justin McElroy just tweeted a selfie with a filter that was like “have a delicious national spaghetti day” followed by 3 tweets that were like “fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know how to delete scheduled posts” and as i type this two years later i’m laughing

I think some of y'all don't know what people in their 30s look like.

In the real world people in their 30's mostly don't look meaningfully older than people in their 20's. Once you stop looking like a teenager you sort of just look like an adult for several decades.