Reading a book about the psychology of friendship (that, oh by the way, taps the ace and trans communities in its discussion not as clinical categories but by including anecdotes from people in those communities!!) and somehow it encouraged me to quadruple down on saying:
We literally do not have enough friendships. Our culture's obsession with romance over friendship is shockingly new (1850's on) and it is having a serious impact on our health across the board, specifically men. This problem has become sharply exacerbated in the last 20 years.
We need more friendships. We need more friendship in media. "But what if they kissed?" What if they didn't, and the love that was there mattered anyway??? Take my hand. Imagine this with me. A relationship unbound by law or expectation. People who choose one another again and again. To stay in each other's lives when there are no societal tethers holding them together.
Go read Platonic by Marisa G. Franco (PhD).
... also like. This is not a refusal to engage with the point. But what if they did kiss.
What about gentle forehead kisses and cheek kisses.
What about courtly hand-kissing to say "we may have socially prescribed roles, but my affection for you is not simply a matter of duty; I would choose this no matter the social expectations."
What about smooching the top of your cat's head because they are just so cute and so beloved that it must be expressed through physical affection.
Because honestly like, I think the framing of all physical contact and affection as obviously romantic is also a reflection of how we prioritize romance over friendship, and it's kind of a microcosm that shows how true OP's point is.
People are social animals! Touch is a part of how we express our relationships! The fact that our society says you may only touch one person, and that must be specifically the person you're having sex with... That's fucked up.
That leads to a lot of lonely people, and I wish more friends and family felt able to be physically and emotionally close without censure or fear of being misunderstood. So often, society treats friendship as simply a prelude to romance, and anyone who wants non-romantic relationships is a slut or a fool or leading a man on.
We definitely need more friendships.




















