Right into that void

Dark Nature/Witch Aromantic Flag

aromantic + emeralds and other green crystals

Like whoa dude, you're aro spec, you're like totally cool.

I am 25 and I have never been in love. But I once drove twenty minutes to a Bakery to get my friend a cake for her 16th birthday with the face of her Favorite band on it. And she told me That was her favorite thing she’s ever Gotten and we watched fireworks all night.

I am 25 and I have never been in love. But I have held someone after a breakup As they cried and cried and cried, And gave them my favorite jam and tea And told them that if love is an anchor That means it is also a boat. You will find Your way to harbor again.

I am 25 and I have never been in love. But I have raised terrified kittens in my Bedroom. You let them sniff you first, You always let them sniff you, you put Out food, you don’t give chase. You wait. And one day they come to you. And sit on your lap and purr like A motor terraforming Mars itself.

I am 25 and I have never been in love. But I have picked myself up after all My worst days and given myself soup When I’m so sick I can’t stand And given myself cakes on the days I feel Like dead ashes and tape that’s lost its stickiness. I have licked my own wounds and healed my own Bruises, I have called myself beautiful Even when I don’t feel it.

I’ve seen a lot of hate recently on certain words used by the aromantic community to describe their experiences, so I feel that some clarification needs to be made.

The term aplatonic does not mean someone who doesn’t want friends. It does not mean someone who doesn’t have friends, or someone who is antisocial. It is not ‘uwu I don’t have any friends I’m so queeeeeer’. No, stop spreading that information. Aplatonic is simply a descriptor used by some aro people to explain that they do not experience squishes nor desire to be in qpps/qprs. (Squishes are essentially friend-crushes, it’s the aromantic equivalent of a crush, except there is not romantic attraction involved. QPRs or QPPs are queer/quasi platonic partnerships/relationships: essentially non-romantic domestic life partners)

Because of the confusing way these are often explained and because of the -platonic suffix, people unfamiliar with these terms automatically jump to “so friends?” Lemme stop you right there buddy. No, people in qpps are not ‘just friends’. It is a term used to essentially describe non-romantic life partners. People in qps sometimes live together, get married, raise children together, etc. It is not ‘just being best friends’. It is not trying to make friendships seem unimportant or secondary.

Many aro people do desire to be in long term relationships. They still do not experience romantic attraction (hence being aromantic). Many aro people experience squishes. However, many do not. In order to simplify this, the word aplatonic was created so that people who do not experience this can more accurately describe their experiences in the aro community with as few words as possible. There’s a lot of focus in the aro community on having qpp/qprs, so there was absolutely a necessity for this word. 

Aplatonic is a word also often used by neurodivergent aroaces who struggle with forming relationships of any kind with people, and tumblr’s quick jump to make fun of it is frankly kind of ableist.

That one post that was being spread around where the anon was asking if aplatonic people are LGBT+ was not someone asking if people who don’t want friends are LGBT+. Rather it was asking if an aroace person is in a domestic partnership with someone of the same gender as them, and they are considered LGBT+, shouldn’t all aromantic asexuals be considered LGBT+ as well because their attraction(s) are the same? (And yes, I know that in that case the partners would be seen as gay from society, even though they are aroace, but I digress) At least that was my interpretation of the ask.

As an aro person who has known and interacted with lots of allo aces, I can promise you that being allo ace doesn’t mean that they have an uncomplicated relationship with romance and platonic relationships. Platonic relationships are highly valued in both ace and aro communities, to the point where the word aplatonic is useful and needed.

Hell, I know several grayromantic people who experience romantic feelings, but not platonic ones.

We can’t cut off other people from terms that they will find useful just because that term is a target of hate. That’s letting ace- and aro-antagonists win. They will find something to hate no matter what.

I chose it for aesthetic and accessibility; you can get practically anything with one, type it with any emoji set, view it on desktop; it’s recognisable and distinct, and it’s simple enough to draw. I know I’ll use it regardless, but it’d be nice to see others using it, so that it’s easier to communicate with it.

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