just a little creature

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

Pride month is over and you know what that means! Yup, all the gays have to go back in the super hell torture dimension. Go on, everybody load up in the van, no I don't make the rules-

hey welcome to my evil lair, good job beating my minions. yeah hold on before i fight you let me just stand directly underneath this massive iron chandelier held up by four ropes connected to big stakes at each corner of the room. like an idiot

*walks into an antique store* i’d like to see your most evil items, please

you'd think that "inhuman thing that isn't a person but speaks like a person and talking to it will slowly drive you mad" would only be found in folktales and fables and so on. but no. chatgpt

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

[ID: first image is a screenshot of Bilbo talking to the hobbits at his birthday party from "The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring." The second image is the text of the original post written in a Tolkien elvish script. End ID.]

you are alive on a planet with insects and whales and diatoms and mycelium networks and puppies and your human friends. literally so awesome to be a living thing

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

you guys do realise walking doesn't actually move you anywhere right? it just destroys you entirely and places a perfect copy of you right in front of where you were standing

Joy and whimsy detected! This snower (snail shower) is joyful and whimsical! 🐌🚿