Hunter x Hunter Headcanons

 Sadly, things don’t get better when Meruem starts to… Notice you a little more.

 Oh, it starts innocently enough. Maybe he catches you reading a certain book. Maybe he looks out and sees you tending the garden. Maybe he even hears you talking about games with the current player he has around… Not that your interactions, little as they might be at first, are exactly pleasant. At this moment, Meruem is very much a “king” and sees humans as nothing more than either annoyances or cattle and this is made clear whenever he speaks with you…  

 Now, regardless of your personality and temper, you wouldn’t be dumb to push his buttons after seeing how he kills without remorse, yes, but there are times when a polite and controlled answer can still surprise someone. And this could happen especially if you end up revealing a point of view that Meruem did not expect or that made no sense to him… Oh, even if he wanted to brush it off (the whole “does a lion concerns himself with the opinion of the sheep?” mentality), he would think about it from time to time… Remember that Meruem can be considered a curious creature: He liked to read and learn, so if you did things that he couldn’t understand, he would want to talk with you. Maybe he catches you doing a hobby and he starts to ask about it, maybe you comment something about the book he caught you reading…

 Those are not the happiest of interactions for you (again, remember how arrogant Meruem was and the fact that he wouldn’t hesitate to kill you), but because of them, Meruem starts to pay attention to you…

 You should have stayed as far away from this creature as you could.

 At first, Meruem rationalizes his feelings as if they were equations. He wishes for your presence? He’s used to it, he supposes. He enjoys watching you when you’re in the gardens? That’s one of the few times when you seem… Less tense. It gets boring when you’re always with your guard up. He enjoys your conversations? You might be an idiotic human being, no better than cattle, but there are times when you say something interesting… He… He enjoys seeing you smile? Well, he supposes it looks pleasant… And if he feels some affection for you… It’s no different from what a human must feel for a pet, right? Yes, he supposes you are sort of a pet for him, after all, you’re useless in the long run, but he still enjoys having you around.

 Now, just one thing… This whole “pet” thing is not in the usual demeaning and cruel sense. Meruem is not even human, for starters and he won’t force you to wear a collar or do tricks. But that doesn’t mean this is a good thing, either. He starts to realize his affection is deeper than he previously thought and his rationalizations no longer feel so certain.  

 Meruem wants you to be around more often (if you work in the castle, he doesn’t care, he can get others to do your work, anyway). He wants to talk with you. Once he starts to think about it, he is unsure of why. It’s like there’s something he wants from you, but he doesn’t understand it himself. And for reason… He wants to make you smile…

 Cute, uh? Beauty and Beast and all that?

 No. Not even close.

 It doesn’t take long for Meruem to understand that he simply wants you. All of you. Not as a pet, but as his mate. And since he’s the King, this means he can take whatever he wants. Besides, who could compete with him? After all, he has absolute power, he’s the epitome of all evolution! Sure, perhaps his mate should be more like him in the matters of strength, but in the end, he doesn’t care about that. Besides, if there is no one as powerful as him anyway, then what difference does it make? Hell, he doesn’t even care whether have Nen or not!

 Meruem may try some courting at first (if for no other reason than instinct. It’s not only mammals that have rituals to court/attract a mate), finding out about common human courtship rituals and attempting a few of them, such as having dinner together and giving you presents… And it’s disturbing because there is a new sort of intensity to Meruem’s behavior and the way he talks to you. His gifts. How he often tells you to sit next to him or to come closer. If you were ever bullied or hurt, Meruem can and will find out about it and bring the person over to kill them before you. In his mind, it’s his way of showing you how he won’t allow anyone to harm what’s his (and his way of disposing of said people would be pretty horrific).

 This courtship, however, wouldn’t last very long. First, Meruem doesn’t see much of the point (again, the king mentality at play), and second, he would soon realize this is not having the desired effect, so it’s better to make things clear. No matter. In the end, you’re already his. Maybe once you understand this, those “romantic” gestures will be better accepted.

 Whether you confront him about his behavior or not, Meruem will make things clear soon: He loves you. There is nothing more to it. Even if this is the last straw and you protest as much as possible, Meruem will just wrap his tail around your back, forcing you to come closer and say, in a low tone, that you’re his mate. Oh, he is being patient and letting you get used to the idea, but that doesn’t change the facts.

 Note that the way he, at some point, starts to caress you with his tail (stinger included) does nothing to soothe your worries. It’s not even that Meruem makes it clear that you have no say in the matter or how twisted his logic is when you try to argue, it’s something about how he does those things. The way he says he loves you and tries to soothe you when he notices your distress.  

 Meruem won’t toss you inside a cage, but he doesn’t need to. The palace is a cage. Even when you try to escape, Meruem (or his Guards) catches you easily and, at times, he treats your attempts as an amusing, cute game. He doesn’t need to chain you physically, the moment you start to rebel too much for his tastes, he will remind you that your family is out there and he can kill them whenever he wants… Or, when he’s particularly displeased, he may outright tell you that if you did escape, for each day that you were away, he would bring one (or more) human to the palace and kill them.

 It's pretty much a new version of Hell that you didn’t think could exist. Meruem doesn’t even have to take care or hide his most possessive traits, since neither of you ever leaves the palace (and besides, who would challenge Meruem and win?). Nothing you say or do seems to get to him and his answers are always twisting things around to suit his own worldview. It’s not even due to him not being human, it’s more because of his mind. Oh, he won’t be physically violent with you, but that means little when he has other methods in case your “misbehavior” starts to get on his nerves. He is doing his best to be patient, but you’re not helping. You say you feel caged? Humans take animals and place them in zoos or sea parks. They cage birds and expect them to sing, don’t they?

 You’ll adapt. Besides, he’s treating you far better than a caged animal.

 Meruem honestly doesn’t understand your rejections (he loves you, he can provide for you, he can make it so you will want for nothing… Why would you reject him?), but in the end, is of no importance to him. Humans had arranged marriages during a certain time. They didn’t love their partners at first but would fall in love after a while.

 He’s sure the same will happen once you get used to your new life and realize how better off you are. Right now, you just need a while to adapt, like a little animal that has been relocated… He doesn’t like it when you ask to be set free or when you’re so tired of everything that you end up crying, but that doesn’t mean he regrets his actions. Not a little bit. He simply embraces you then, whispering that he loves you. Even his attempts at “comforting” you feel more as if he was slicing you up. Again: It doesn’t help when he rationalizes the whole situation in a way that makes Illumi seem like a reasonable, understanding person.  

 But in the end, nothing matters for Meruem except keeping you with him.

 But you still feel weird… There are times when people have a sensation of being watched. And you know what? In this case, this sensation is very much correct. If you are already aware of Gon’s obsession, this might be your cue to either call your friends to hang out (seeking the safety of being with them) or run back home… Sadly, both options are of no good whatsoever. No matter what happens, Gon will track you down, all while smiling to himself and completely believing this is some sort of game.

 Whatever you try to do, he’ll stop it. You’re trying to call some friends? He’ll find a way to either stop the call or directly approach you “suggesting” that you spend the day together. You try to run back home? He knows all the paths and is prepared to appear in a corner of the street. Perhaps there is an alley he can hide and wait until you pass to drag you with him. Hehe, won’t you be surprised?

 Make no mistake: You are being hunted.

 It doesn’t help that Gon truly believes he’s not doing anything that bad! He is just playing with you! He loves you, silly, he wouldn’t hurt you!

 Gon will catch you eventually, right before your friends arrive or before you can reach home (or any place that could help you, really). Then, it depends a little on the current situation between you two: Has he already tried to “keep you safe” (read: kidnapping), or is he merely “ensuring your safety from afar” (translation: Stalking you while threatening you to keep it a secret), or is he managing to hide his obsession from you?

 In the first and second cases, Gon will pretend everything is okay. He might be “upset” at you escaping/not sending him any messages during the day, but he can overlook that! It’s a special day after all! Why, if you wanted to go out today, you just had to ask! He doesn’t like it when you leave like that/ignore him, love…

 It’s chilling to see that. Gon just smiles at you, but there is something twisted about his smile, about the way his eyes shine, even the way he says things. It’s not even that he seems unable to understand how much he’s hurting you… It goes deeper than that.

 If you escaped after he kidnapped you, there is no conversation. Gon will knock you out at once and take you back home… When you wake up, you’re back in hell, with Gon there, smiling at you as he shows you he prepared a special date for the two of you! He knows you would have liked to go out, but he can’t just trust you to not run away… But he has everything prepared! Your favorite meal, movies, a cute gift! He can even take you to the gardens so you two can have dinner under the moonlight! Isn’t this nice?

 You can’t even explain to him that it’s not nice, that you’re not happy… He will again ignore your pleas or rationalize everything. During the rest of the day, he behaves even more affectionately. Hugging you, holding you close, kissing you, whispering how much he loves you… And it’s not the “suffocating” attention one sees in stories about love potions or things like that (I think I once mentioned “The Chaser” episode from the Twilight Zone as an example of such cases?). This is unsettling and disturbing because it all goes back to the fact that you are not here by your own will! Oh, his attention is nothing perverted, but that doesn’t make it any better. It’s still a touch you don’t want. Still a violation of your space.

 The second scenario (he hasn’t kidnapped you) and the third (he has, until now, managed to keep his obsession a secret) are somewhat similar. In the second, Gon then holds your hand and decides you two are going on a date! Won’t that be fun? And you should know by now that openly defying him might not be the best idea… Remember that he is the delusional type of yandere. He’ll rationalize everything he does and he truly believes this is for the best and that you’ll eventually love him back. No argument can reach him, nothing can convince him to stop, and defying him over and over can drive him over the edge (which won’t be pretty).

 I’m sorry to tell you, but most people won’t realize there is something wrong. Gon isn’t as manipulative as some other characters, but he knows how to use his innocent smile to his advantage. Besides, whenever it seems you’re about to call for help or send a hidden signal, he holds your hand and gives you the sweetest smile… That pretty much warns you to behave. After all, as long as you let him take care of you, nothing bad will happen!

 Of course, being in public means Gon won’t be too “touchy” with you, but that doesn’t mean his attention is less intense. Even when he holds your hand, it feels like being shackled. And if you start to resist, he’ll just drag you back home… Perhaps it would be better if you spent the day just the two of you. A pity, but you’re clearly too stressed to be out and about like that.

 Yelling and calling for help is of no use. Remember, if you could do that, you would have done so already. Gon will have the means to control you without a chain.

 In the case that he had been keeping his obsession under control (at least enough to not make you run away), Gon will still insist that you two spend the day together… By manipulating you into accepting it and then monopolizing your attention as much as he can. Even when you start to feel uncomfortable, your instinct warning you that there’s something deadly wrong, Gon will distract you with some joke, showing something nice, and then smiling in a way that makes you feel bad for thinking such things. Oh, and just so you know? Internally, Gon will be smiling, yes, but in a way that is quite less cute… All while he thinks you’re such a good girl/boy/person. So sweet and gentle! He needs to make sure you’re safe always, after all, you’re such a precious little thing!

The issues with… Reproduction, may not get to them very much, but they would worry that you would be sad about it (especially if it’s clear that you’d like to have children of your own). The idea of losing you to old age would also be a terrifying thought because while felines are not known to be monogamous, Pitou sincerely sees you as their mate, as their other half, and the idea that there is nothing they can do to make you live as long as them makes their blood run cold. Because of this, Pitou may consider using the process of changing you into a chimera as well, but they would push it aside out of fear of this changing who you truly are (and this is even providing this would work, to begin with).

 So, they can’t win. And they know that.

 In the end, however, Pitou is the kind that doesn’t back down and gives up. They are insistent and stubborn and they love you, so they would want to keep the relationship no matter what.

 It’s possible that, when their worries get to them, they would try to remind you that they love you and try to make up for what they can’t give you. Surprising you with a meal under the moonlight, maybe doing nice things for you… Maybe bringing you a delicious deer they hunted just for you and… Oh. Uh… Maybe you can give them points for trying? Yeah, Pitou can go from the “ignoring the problem” mindset to “trying their best to make up for it” without much warning.

 The best thing to do would be to talk with them, but gently. If you ever said those things to Pitou (at least in this “straight-and-direct” way), it’s very likely you’d hurt them. A lot. But at the same time, those are things that shouldn’t be ignored. It’s a fact of your relationship: Even if Pitou carries some human DNA, they are still Chimera Ants and therefore, a different species. If you decide to stay with them, you’d have to make sure they understand you can face those issues, but only if you do so together.

 Menthuthyoupi.

Thi guy falls into the “gentle giant” category when it comes down to you. He’s the kind that’s devoted to those he loves and he would worry that he can’t make you happy because of those problems. Not only that, he knows many humans would consider him a monster and be disgusted by the idea of having a relationship with him. This, in and by itself, doesn’t bother him. What bothers him is the idea of you being mocked or despised because of him.

 While Youpi can appear to be the “dumb muscle” of the group, don’t be fooled. He’s far from an idiot and he would reflect upon those issues. In his case, it would be far more obvious that there is something bothering him… He may not want to talk about it (because, in his mind, until there is a solution, there is no point in simply talking about it), but wouldn’t be able to hide how he’s feeling. Even cuddling doesn’t seem to cheer him up, as all he can think about is what would happen if you died or decided to leave him. And from that point on, his mind would go through every possible issue of the differences between you two. Yeah, it’s one of the cases when the bad thoughts seem to multiply the more you think about them.

 Like Pitou, he would try to make up for those issues, afraid that you’d someday decide that being with him isn’t worth the trouble. Oh, Youpi would respect you if you decided it was over, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try to stop this from ever happening… It’s… It’s actually pretty sad. Note that I don’t mean he would act like someone having a self-pity party or a poor, little crybaby, but those problems are very realistic and serious ones. In the end, the truth is simple: He loves you and he fears that he can’t make you happy, as much as he wants to.

 Yes, perhaps out of all the Guards, Youpi is the one who would need a conversation about this the most before this gets worse. Hell, you chose to be with him. You can’t have children? You can adopt. You will probably die before he does? Even if you were with a human, you could suffer an accident or get sick and even if you die, you two will meet again. He can’t go out in public with you? So what? Yeah, you’d need some patience here, but no one ever said relationships were easy!

 Shaiapouf

Oh, my, did I say you’d need patience with Youpi? Make it a double when it’s Pouf you have to deal with! First off, let me remind you that this guy has an… Interesting personality. And pretty… Intense moods. Oh, screw it! I’ll be blunt: He’s pretty arrogant. It’s a flaw of his that won’t disappear simply because he’s dating you. Out of all of the Guards, he is the one that has the worst time dealing with how many complications there are to your relationship because, due to his superiority complex, he always believed there was nothing he couldn’t do.

 He will, at first, brush those details off, maybe trying to hold on to “logical” solutions (that are no solutions, actually, just ways of going around those complications without addressing them). Usually, rather than being quiet and gloomy, he becomes a little too cheerful. Yes, it’s because he’s trying to convince himself that there is nothing wrong and you’re both happy and everything is just fine!

 Thank goodness, if you’ve been with him for long, you realize things are not okay and Pouf is not really happy, but you’ll have a harder time getting him to talk about it. Meanwhile, when Pouf is not trying to rationalize the issues, he’s trying to convince himself that they are secondary. All this while keeping that damn superiority complex of his, I’m sad to say.

 In the end, Pouf is scared and he hates feeling like this, especially when there is nothing he can do. He can’t fight this whole thing off with his powers, he can’t convince them to disappear, he is powerless. In fact, he feels pretty much like a moth caught in a spider’s web and all he can do is trash around (mentally), even though he knows it’s useless. A part of him even thinks about turning you into a chimera until the possibility of you dying in the process, or becoming a completely different being comes to mind. Then he regrets thinking about it in the first place.

 It's also complicated because Pouf can end up thinking about this far too much for his mental health (it’s not that different from a mathematician getting obsessed with solving a certain equation and it’s still not a good thing). Because of this, there is the risk of Pouf getting a bit… Neurotic. He tries to hide it, but you see he’s upset, nervous, and restless. There might be days when you’ll feel like screaming at him to tell you what’s wrong before you (or him) end up in a nuthouse!

 You’re going to need to sit down, look him in the eyes and tell him to talk with you. Damn it, you’re his partner/mate, are you not? He may need some convincing, as speaking everything out loud makes it more real, but he will do so eventually. There are many complications to your relationship, he can’t do anything about it and he feels like a selfish bastard because even if he fears that being with him isn’t the best for you, he still wants to be with you (trust me, admitting that will be like pulling teeth for Pouf. I repeat: Superiority complex here).

A few aspects from him expecting his first child in a normal, healthy relationship would carry over, such as his worry, him reading books on the subject, discussing with you how to make the house (or wherever he’s currently keeping you) safe for the baby… But even those would be tainted by what he’s become as a yandere.

 Oh, he would remain protective of you during those months… However, this means the usual precautions he takes to keep you from leaving will be increased. By now you should know that begging for him to let you go is useless and if Phinks catches you crying as you imagine what sort of life this child will have (or even what kind of person it might become having Phinks as a father), he will just pin it down to “hormones” and whatnot, proceeding to “soothe” you the same way he usually does: By telling you how wonderful things will be if you just accept this life and how much he loves you… Depending on how pregnancy affects you, it may be even worse than before.  

 It doesn’t help he may actually believe that this baby (regardless of… The circumstances) is proof that you two are meant to be a family. It’s quite disturbing, especially when he places his hand on your stomach, whispering how he can’t wait to see the baby, how “mommy and daddy are waiting for you”... It’s not like his tone or his expression denounces his obsession, but perhaps exactly because he seems like a normal man in love, it makes this situation so unsettling. Remember that Phinks is not completely unaware of what he’s doing to you, however, he firmly and wholeheartedly believes that you will fall in love with him eventually and then, everything will be fine.

 Oh, and this isn’t the “desperate, tragic and sorrowful” sort of belief, just so you know. It’s more like how he kills people and shrugs it off with zero remorse because he believes in the Spider.

 When the time comes, Phinks will take you to a hospital, but you should know this doesn’t mean you have better chances of escaping: It will most likely be a place where “less-than-upstanding” people go to and the doctors will look away if paid to do so (even telling him when you try to do anything to call for help). If he can’t find such a place, he will take the doctors aside and make it clear that they are not to interfere with his relationship with you… And of course, by now, Phinks may have other means to make sure you don’t (or better yet, can’t) ask anyone for help.

 Once the baby is born, Phinks acts pretty much as he normally would with his baby: Nervous about holding them, unsure of how to bond… But because you are in this situation and by now you know better than you’d like, you can feel a dark undertone in all of his actions… No, it’s not your imagination. At least not quite. It’s simple because you know that despite how he behaves, this is not a healthy relationship and there is no love. And regardless of how you feel about this baby, it’s enough to make you shiver as you imagine what will happen now (both to the baby and you).

 Regarding Phinks’ feelings towards the child… It’s a little complicated. I won’t say he sees the child only as a mere “proof”, “means” or “an element of his ideal life with you” and he certainly wouldn’t get to the point of using the baby against you to get you to behave… But I also can’t say his feelings would be untainted and free of such things.

 It’s hard to say if Phinks’ yandereism would extend to the child, but I think it’s safe to assume his feelings wouldn’t be quite as healthy as when he is in his normal state.

 Shalnark

Remember how excited and even cute Shal can be when he learns that you’re expecting? This doesn’t change when he becomes a yandere. What changes is how this makes you feel. His behavior isn’t so endearing when he’s been keeping you against your will and insisting that what he does is out of love.

 Once he learns you’re pregnant, he will go on about how happy he is, and oh, you two are going to have a child! Isn’t this wonderful? Don’t worry, darling! He is sure Chrollo will allow him to “take leave” of some of the “less-important” missions to stay with you! Isn’t that nice? And of course, whenever he is away, there is either someone else from the Troupe guarding you or he relays on the security system he made himself! That way, he can make sure you’re perfectly safe!

 Yeah, Shal honestly acts as if you two are a happy, married couple, having no problem with “sweetly chastising” you for not playing along when you refuse him a little too much for his tastes… Don’t be fooled into thinking he is too far gone to understand what he has done: He understands far too well. He just doesn’t care. As long as you’re with him, it’s fine. Even if you’re still taking time to adapt and return his affections, he’s sure having a baby will help things along. After all, you’re a family now!

 Tell him as much as you want that this isn’t love, that no child can grow up happy in such a dysfunctional “household”, that the two of you are not a family and that you don’t love him. His reaction will be the same as always, just laugh it off. You say such silly things at times, dear.

 If you thought yandere!Phinks touching your stomach and saying sweet nothings was disturbing, you haven’t seen yandere!Shalnark doing it. He is also not afraid of using some emotional manipulation, holding you close when you’re in a fragile state, whispering how things would be better if you accepted his love, and so on. The times when his façade falters enough for him to show his actual nature are even worse. He keeps smiling, but there is definitely something cold in his eyes when he tells you to not flinch when he tries to feel if the baby is kicking.

 His excitement, especially when he’s talking about getting things ready for the baby, or he brings you some present or takes you out so you can buy stuff for the baby is far from being a “cute and pleasant” experience as most parents expect it to be. In fact, it’s quite sickening.

 Shalnark is not afraid of using every method he can to stop you from asking for help or trying to run away… Yes, this includes using his Nen on you (or asking Chrollo if some ability of his could help). He may allow you to have some control over your body and not completely take away your voice, but he will be nearby, interfering whenever he suspects you’re “getting ideas”. You’re out buying stuff for the baby and he is there, suggesting this or that, walking with you on aisles of stuffed toys… And the employees around have no idea how bad you want to scream, to run, to make a signal, anything… Shalnark, however, may notice it and remind you how he can (and will) kill anyone who tries to take you away from him (if he has done so already, he may even ask you if you want those people to die like that person).

 It’s the same whenever you have to see a doctor or when it’s time to give birth: You’re laying there as the doctors get things ready around you, Shal will just kiss your forehead as he whispers how this will be just until you’re both back home. All while giving you that sweet smile of his.

 With the baby, Shal appears a bit like he would if he were in a normal state, but it’s not as much as Phinks and certainly not enough to hide his mental state. Perhaps some of the “love” he claims to feel for the child is genuine, but this doesn’t mean his yandere tendencies would not be involved. Quite the contrary: He would teach his child to follow in his footsteps and join the Spider and remember that, even in his normal state, those teachings had a feel of “programming” to them. This is even stronger with Shal as a yandere.

 Note that his behavior isn’t in the “chasing the ideal of a family rather than truly caring for them” thing, but you already know that having a real family with Shalnark is impossible.

Feitan.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you… Your new nightmares for the next few days. I’m not kidding, if you thought Feitan was creepy as a yandere, you haven’t seen him as an “expecting-father” yandere. Like the others, he will try to spend more time with you and, like with the others, this isn’t so enjoyable when, oh, yeah, this is the man who has kidnapped you. Somehow, you get the feeling it’s not a good idea to push Feitan’s buttons for a while and you’d be right: If he hasn’t chained you yet, he’ll certainly do so if he catches you trying to escape while pregnant. He may even tell you that you should be careful, after all, stress might be bad for the baby, right? Oh, Feitan isn’t mocking you, but this doesn’t make his words pleasant.

 Regardless of how you became pregnant or your feelings towards the child, you have the admit that the idea of a baby being raised by Feitan is frightening. You have to control yourself, for Feitan will notice your smallest signs of discomfort that are related to him and the child (hesitating when he talks about the baby’s future or touching your stomach when the pregnancy begins to show)… Even if you try (again) to argue this isn’t love, that he kidnapped you, and so on, Feitan’s reaction will be the same as always: Tell you how you’re making things worse by resisting. He may not get to the point of acting as this child proves that you’re meant to be together, but does point out this means the two of you are now forever connected. Always using that patient tone that makes it clear that he can wait for you to love him back (as he honestly believes you will someday).

 Whether or not he allows you to go out depends on your behavior and even if you manage to fool him into thinking you won’t try to leave/call for help, he won’t lower his guard (and is likely to have Shalnark or someone else from the Troupe around to interfere should you try anything). If he so much as suspects he can’t trust you yet (or is being overprotective), then you’ll be buying things for the baby on the internet. As for a doctor, Feitan knows a few who do house calls… And will ignore any pleas for help, given a moderate fee. Of course, the same goes for the hospital.

 Several women and men say that something changes in you when you have a child; when you hold the baby in your arms for the first time. You can’t speak for those people, but you can say that whatever change happens in Feitan, it won’t be for the better. The first time he holds his child, there is a faint smile and he looks almost normal but you know him: It’s highly unlikely his obsession won’t somehow interfere with his feelings towards the baby. You’re right. The exact details will depend on his state, but it will happen.

 He would make sure to spend as much time as possible with you and the baby, his affections still a silent type, based more on actions than words, creating scenes of normalcy that contrast greatly with the reality of the situation. There wouldn’t be much difference in his behavior as a father at first from how he would be in a healthy relationship… Well, except when he talks about the child’s future or when he insists on holding you and the baby. Those are some of the moments when traits of his yanderism become more obvious (in Feitan’s own way, of course). No, the difference in his behavior would come later, as the child grows up (and would be based on how exactly the child develops and their own personality).

 Now, Feitan wouldn’t get to the point of hurting his own baby or keeping them from you as punishment, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t use them as a sort of emotional blackmail. For example, if you’re “being difficult” (trying to reject his attentions, flinching when he comes too close, so on), he may smile and point out this may not be good for the child… After all, you don’t want your child to think mommy is afraid of daddy, do you?

 He resembles a lot of what kind of a father he would be normally, but his desire to teach the child the ways of the Spider would be severely increased. Again, like with Shal, it’s not quite the “chasing an ideal that can never be” or seeing the child as an object, but his affections would not be completely pure. In this state, he would also be way less accepting of the child refusing to join the Spider someday.

So, in a way, Chrollo’s expertise with pain gets in the way at first. He gets apprehensive at the idea of going too far or even getting too carried away (which might be a valid concern, given the things he has done), and he may also be somewhat unsure of enjoying himself as well. Oh, he understands someone getting pleasure from pain, but this is more in theory and again, considering how sadistic he can be with his enemies, this may bother him when he starts to feel pleasure while hurting you. This is especially true when it comes down to using knives. Even if he’s just brushing it against your skin, this makes him think about people he did kill using blades and it feels sort of… Wrong. Yeah, he knows he is in control. He knows you’re consenting and that if it starts to be too much, you’ll tell him to stop… But in practice, he still needs to get used to it, you know?

 Not that this will be exactly obvious or that he will even want to talk about it unless you two have a very intimate relationship. Not on a sexual level, but on an emotional one. Otherwise, he prefers to deal with this on his own.

 If you two are comfortable around each other enough to discuss emotional matters like those, then the best thing to do is to simply tell him that you want him to enjoy himself as well, without making a huge deal out of it or treating Chrollo as a “sweet, innocent lamb” (seriously, don’t). There is a huge abyss between respecting a subject as serious as this and letting your partner know about what pleases you and being condescending or pussy-footing around the matter.

 Illumi

Illumi has far fewer reservations than Chrollo when it comes down to the “put the theory in practice”, let’s say, but he might be even more confused when first learning about your kink. Like Chrollo, Illumi has always used pain as a tool for either punishment or elimination, so the idea of getting pleasure from it is absolutely alien to him. Even if he heard about such kinks, they have never truly registered in his mind because, well, it isn’t as if he ever gave much of a damn to what others do or don’t do, you know?

 In fact, while Chrollo may hesitate a little when putting said kink in practice, Illumi is the opposite. It’s the concept that puzzles him at first, and you’ll need a while to actually explain to him why and what do you like about pain… Yes, pain has always been part of his life, but never like this. Also, again due to his upbringing, his tolerance is way high so what you may consider painful might be nothing to him. You two will need to talk about your limits, perhaps with you even demonstrating a little to him. Bear in mind, it’s not like there’s a risk of Illumi getting to the point of “hurting you for real by accident” (he has better self-control than that), it’s just that this higher-than-normal tolerance means he needs a little more to understand where you draw the line and the pain crosses your zone of comfort.

Note that the “overprotective” and “suffocating” behavior is not the “desperate” type or the “father will force the child to wear three coats when it’s cold and follow them with a GPS”. It would be subtler, but no less intense protection. At first, the boundaries would seem normal: No playing on the street if he’s not there, no going out with other children unless Gon has met them and their parents… It would be more on the way Gon does things… And if left unchecked, then yes, there would be other things: Gon would want so much to see his child happy that he would try to protect them from their own failings or problems (solving it in their stead), becoming a little irresponsible while, at the same time, his interest in their lives would reach the micromanaging point. Again, subtle, but it’s still there.  

 Frankly, it would be even a little tragic. Gon would worry all the time (even more than parents normally do) and his fear would slowly interfere with his behavior. Sometimes he would check the child sleeping at night, then go to his room and cry (especially if he lost his spouse in a traumatic manner).

 Things would get better eventually due to his friends helping around and getting Gon to face what happened. Much of his “mistakes” would be due to his attempt to overcompensate and to protect the child from more pain. It would take time until Gon calmed down, but facing the root of the issue would help.

 He would still worry more than normal (if the child is ten minutes late when coming back from an outing, he would be calling them!) and insist a little too much on “family bonding time”, but it wouldn’t reach an unhealthy level.

 Killua

Besides dealing with the pain of losing his spouse, Killua would already be dealing with fears of repeating his family’s behavior with his own child (even if unconsciously). Add the death of his loved one and Killua would likely fall into a deep state of depression. For a time, he wouldn’t know what to do and while he would try to focus on his child, he would risk ending up neglecting his own mental state as a result (especially if the child is too young). He would try his best to hang on, to remember his child needs him… But depression has a way of eating you alive.

 If the child is a little older, it might help. They would go through this together and the child’s love would give Killua the strength he needs… Because there is the risk that things would get to the point where Killua would start to become a recluse and, eventually, be barely able to talk to anyone (even his child) if they didn’t take the initiative. No, I’m not saying the child would have the responsibility to help, but being able to talk with each other would already, by itself, offer some support (and so would the child insisting that they go out at some point). Hell, even the child asking to sleep with Killua at night would offer a push towards recovery.

 Another good thing is that Killua’s attempts to say that everything is alright wouldn’t fool his friends (thank God) and their support would also be essential for his recovery… Killua’s pain would be so great that he might end up locking himself in a room, barely functioning. So, cue Gon breaking the door down and sitting at his friend’s side, in the silent support that he needs. Killua would need to be reminded that he is not alone and that he doesn’t need to go through this alone.

 Eventually, he would recover, but he would need some time to get to his feet again. He would try his best to balance boundaries and freedom when it comes to his child. He would be very much attached, wanting his child to grow up knowing they can trust him. Perhaps he might be overprotective with one or two things, but hey, what parent isn’t?  

 Kurapika

No matter how much time passes, Kurapika would always miss his spouse, and the first months, perhaps even years following the death would be very hard for him. If the spouse was killed by someone, well, may God have mercy on the murderer’s soul because Kurapika will not.

 While Kurapika would always be protective of his children due to his fear of them being killed by his enemies and the trauma of losing his clan, this would become more severe with the death of his spouse. It would be a strange mix since Kurapika would also instruct the child on how to defend themselves (given they are at an appropriate age for such, of course). If the child is already training by the time Kurapika’s spouse dies, Kurapika would become more strict for a while, demanding more from the child (without even realizing that he’s doing it). Yeah, it would not be fun.

 Like in Killua’s case, this effect of his loss might pass eventually (especially with friends offering support) as he learns to deal with his grief and, if the child is a little older, a conversation between them may help Kurapika realize he’s letting his pain take control of his life. If the child is too young, his friends will help him before said training starts, so while in both cases Kurapika would need time to learn to balance things out and be a single father, it would happen before he ended up as a military-type father (and risking his relationship with his child in the process).

 Would he still be protective of his child? Yes, but since he’s the last of the Kurtas and his “issues” with the Phantom Troupe, you cannot blame him. Yes, he and the child would argue at times, but Kurapika wouldn’t become the type of father that appears to want to lock his child in their room until there are forty. In fact, Kurapika would be able to balance being a father with being his child’s best friend.  

 While Kurapika would always need, from time to time, to be alone when he starts to miss you too much, that wouldn’t be as often as to become a risk of neglect or something that would eventually drag him back to depression. It would simply be necessary, one of the ways to deal with how much he misses you.

Leorio

At first, Leorio would be completely lost. Losing you hurts him in a way he never thought possible and he is not sure of what to do, especially when it comes down to the child. He doesn’t know how to be a single father and all the insecurities seem to fall on him all at once. He would manage his own emotions the better he could, but there would be moments when his grief would mix with fear. Even as Leorio tries to take deep breaths and control himself, he would feel as if he was drowning.

 At first, Leorio may try to cope by dedicating himself to his work and studies as never before, balancing this with his new role as a single father. Many factors contribute to this reaction, including his desire to be a good parent, almost to compensate for the absence of the child’s mother, in a way. However, there is always a risk that the person may become a workaholic in order to avoid dealing with the grief or because they want to tire themselves to be able to sleep. While the risk of Leorio becoming a negligent father is low, the existence of those two others might be a little… Worrying.

 Deep down, Leorio wants to make sure he becomes a great dad, that he can afford to care for his child. Remember that he grew up in a very poor area, so he knows several stories of parents being unable to give their children what they needed or wanted. Besides, there is the matter of Leorio wanting to be someone his child is proud of… Yeah, it’s not just one thing or another, but everything together that pushes Leorio into trying a little too much.

Second, he is studying to be a doctor so, while this isn’t his area of expertise, he is still very much aware that, unpleasant as this may be, it is natural. So he won’t be all “grossed out” by the very mention of it.

Leorio is the kind of guy that wants to help you as much as he can. Over time, he would learn how your period affects you and how to best offer you support. Don’t worry, it doesn’t come off as “you’re a little porcelain doll and needs to be cared for”, just in that natural “hey, my girlfriend is having to deal with a pain-in-the-ass period and I just want to help her.” Because honestly? He may not have any idea of how a period feels like, but he knows enough details about what happens in the female body during this time to know this can’t be easy.

So, your cramps feel like a portal to hell is opening up inside of you? He brings you the painkillers and a heating pad (if you say it helps), along with some hot chocolate! You get depressed? He organizes a movie marathon with lots of cuddling! You need your space? You got it, just remember you can call him anytime! You get mood swings? He… Very wisely tries to not provoke you and prays this will be over soon because he has no idea of what to do when you snap at him, then start to cry.

Now, if you need him to buy you some pads/tampons/whatever you prefer, well… Leorio will do it, yeah, but he will also bring a few other things that he likely used to hide the box while he was in line. Look, dear, it just feels weird for him to buy that, okay?

Also, Shizuku has been shown to be blunt, so it’s possible she would comment that you becoming like Uvogin/reaching the 1st place is unlikely. Please, understand that she is not saying she doesn’t believe in you or is trying to put you down. The point is that, the way she sees it, Uvogin has always been a huge guy from the day they met, possibly due to a genetic factor that contributed to his strength. So, she doesn’t see him as a “normal standard”, per say and, until his death, you’d have to become stronger than him to rank in the first place…

Yeah, she could and should have worded her thoughts better, but again, Shizuku can be a little too blunt. She really doesn’t mean to insult you or hurt your feelings. In fact, she may even get confused if you get angry at her.

Once you solve any misunderstanding/argument that may result from this, she would apologize. Her initial opinion may have not changed, but it doesn’t mean she would get in your case for that. It isn’t how she is.

Shizuku would simply ask you why are you training like that and why you want to be ranked 1st. I mean, if you’re in the Troupe, you’re already quite strong and have your own talents. And she is not ranked first and she is pretty content that way… The idea genuinely confuses her and, well, you might need to explain it a little carefully… You know this girl can be a little of an airhead at times.

Even after you explain, she might not completely get it… Well, she supposes she understands the desire to get stronger physically, more or less. Nevertheless, she would simply accept it since there is just one point that matters in the end to her: This is something you want.

It’s good enough for her.