Ashmodeusx

Everyone's got that mutual who can't get out of the maze

Everyone’s got that mutual that traps people in mazes

I was wearing a skirt over tights, and my mom happily commented on how I was ‘finally’ mature. I was so offended (I don’t like wearing skirts or dresses) that I showed her my tights, only for her to basically say that they were so short that they didn’t count.

I was drawing as I normally do and I saw Keanu Reeves outside my window. I opened my window and he asked for a plate of cold lasagna. I went to get the lasagna and when I came back he was gone and I woke up in a cold sweat.

Apollo's magical prophecy ball hit me in the face when I was joking about Elon Musk exploding. It was on the news he exploded. There was a party in the streets hundreds if not thousands of people partook in.

Like to charge Reblog to cast?

kind of a milf. reblog

Sometimes even things that *aren’t* problems are Rush Hour…which then turns it into a problem when you can’t do it

who the fudge changed ‘fudgers’ to ‘meaners’

WHO CHANGED IT FROM FUDGERS TO FUDGERS I WILL KISS THE POPSICLE DONT TICKLE ME JAMBOREE

and here we have an artifact of the days when you could edit posts when you reblogged…now we are all Internet Archeologists

british towns will be called Fuckmouth or whatever and people will just go with it

i literally live 10 miles from shitterton and i can confirm that the council had to replace all of their signs with rocks because they kept getting stolen.