torture my heart

💓 I'll be posting short snippets and photos sometimes at @torment-steth-repeat, which matches my OF username. (Since they don't like references to torture over there, no matter how fun and kinky.)

📚 Some favourite content is linked below the cut, as much for me as for you.

I posted about this a while ago and it's in my profile, but for those who missed it:

Life Update

(picture related because my Tumblr is on life support 😉)

Hi everyone, long time no see! I recently logged back into Tumblr for the first time in months and saw that a few people had sent me concerned messages, so I want to apologise for going AWOL. I'm okay! I had a rough go for a while due to stress/medical issues but I'm no longer working at the place that was causing a lot of my stress, so I'm doing a lot better now.

Sadly this isn't me being "back", just letting you know what's going on and that I'm alive and well. I still won't be posting here or checking DMs much if ever: Tumblr lost me when they suddenly flagged my blog and removed much of my content. It was incredibly frustrating to have all my time and effort suddenly go up in smoke for no apparent reason.

OnlyFans has its own issues, but at least the platform is reliable, so I've continued posting occasionally over there. And now with not working for a bit while I recover, I've actually done what I never thought I would and created a paid channel with regular posts so that I have at least a small income stream. So far it's been really fun! I'm not here to advertise, but of course I'd be happy to see any of you over at my paid or free channels if you want to see my new content and support my unemployed ass. 😜

I miss the casualness and community of Tumblr, so I hope you're all doing well and still having fun here!

Hugs,

They've flagged and hidden a bunch of my videos as "adult content," regardless of whether they have nudity or not and regardless of whether I had tagged them with appropriate community labels. Has anyone else been hit with this? I don't know if there's even any point trying anymore.

I've been appealing them and getting denied for every single one. Again, SOME OF THEM DON'T EVEN HAVE NUDITY. What the actual fuck is this.

You have a stupid fight with your friend (23F), and now you can't stop thinking about it. You miss her smile, her goofiness, you miss the warmth of your bond where she used to just randomly come and lie down on your chest, listening to your heartbeat.As you are lost in thoughts , you feel a soft weight settle on the left side of your chest. It was her ofcourse. She doesn't say a word but she rests her head on your sternum directly above your beating heart. Then she slowly undoes the first three button of your shirt and before you know her long icy fingers are caressing your bare chest, tracing the outline of your heart, feeling it hammer softly against her palm. She runs around her fingers like stethoscope, analysing every auscultation point...feeling, counting, observing ,cherishing every beat of your heart like precious stars. You can feel her touch linger on your PMI for a minute longer, her fingers digging deep into your ribs with a pressure that surprises you. You feel a sense of calm wash over your body which normally happens everytime she listens to your heart. But this time something strange happened. Having completed her tour of your heart, she nestles back on your chest ready to fall asleep with the comforting sound of your heart beating steadily in the background. But as soon as her warm cheek touches your cool, clammy skin, your heart stutters in your chest, you can actually feel it skip an entire beat before your heart roars back to life racing frantically now.

90..92...87..112...123..

It gets faster and faster beneath her ears jolting her into alarm. "Hey hey hey" she gasps. "i knew your resting heart rate is a bit on the racier side. But holy shit!!!! What is happening today? "

"maybe it's you !" You try to tease her. Your words coming out in breathless gasps.

" Hold on there, Gwen ... Parker wont let you die this time" she smiles mischievously referring to an inside joke you guys have where she thinks you look like Emma Stone. Then she springs up in action, the warmth from her flushed face still lingering on your chest. It's getting harder and harder to breathe for you now, a dull throbbing ache spreading through the area exactly where her head had been moments ago.

"Gosh it's too fast we gotta slow it down okay?" She tells you before positioning her hands exactly between your breasts starting the compressions. Slow deep compressions. You can feel her using every last bit of her strength in pushing down on your aching chest in a deep, deliberate fashion, desperately trying to coax your stubborn heart back to rhythm. You can also feel your heart reacting to every compression, the rhythm faltering with each passing second, the pain getting more and more excruciating ... She keeps on with the compressions, tired but relentless, your heart playing a cruel joke on her efforts. The harder she pushes down trying to slow your heart, the faster your heart beats beneath her palms as if mocking her.

134..157...178...

You just lay there , as a mere, powerless spectator , of a battle that raged between your own heart and a young woman of 23 desperate to save your life. The situation was both agonizing but strangely comforting at the same time , the irony stealing the air from your lungs.

Suddenly, you feel lighter. The rhythmic, suffocating compressions have stopped replaced by a few seconds of profound silence where all you can hear is your own heart withering away at 180bpm

She looked directly into your eyes. Teary and helpless. "I can't... I can't seem to get it to slow down.." she whispers planting a soft kiss on your forehead. It was an apology for seemingly failing to save her 'Gwen'. " But...i can make it go faster. " She smiles. A chill runs down your body, a sharp contrast to the feeling in your lungs that were now burning with the lack of oxygen

You watch in disbelief as well as admiration as she brings out a syringe from her pocket, the sharp silver edges shimmering in the moonlight . "I'm sorry" she speaks again her voice surprisingly cold now " but your heart needs to be punished for not listening to me" . Before you can fully comprehend what she means, she has already jabbed the syringe just below your left breast, your left ventricle now flooding with adrenaline. Your heart protests going into a frenzy. It violently twists inside your chest, stuttering and skipping multiple beats and then going for a sprint again.

190 ...207...225....248bpm?

Your heart has lost count. You feel like there's a volcano bubbling inside your chest . Everything hurts everything burns inside but you don't want it to stop. You want to stay awake and feel it all. You want to savour every beat of your struggling, tortured, failing heart.But darkness beckons and the pull is too strong for you to resist. The last thing you remember is the feeling of icy long fingers rubbing a cold gel on your red, battered chest. You may have heard the sound of paddles charging but you are not sure what had happened next

You wake up to find yourself lying on your bed, the excruciating burning in your chest replaced by a soft throbbing pain which hurt with every beat of your heart . Next to your strong but faintly irregular heartbeat, she lay nestled , her heading resting against the bruises her strong deep compressions had carved on your chest. It was the scars of a battle. A battle she had seemingly won in disciplining your naughty , unruly heart. "Did it hurt ?" She softly whispers kissing the red, painful area below your left breast, the area where the needle had pierced through trying to access your fragile heart. "Did it hurt a lot? " She asks again. You are too tired to speak so you just sigh in response. She snuggles closer to you , the soft, irregular rhythm of your weakened heart lulling her to sleep. You stroke her hair gently oblivious to the fact that she's dreaming about the knife she had kept hidden in her room . She is dreaming about cutting open your chest and squeezing your heart with her bare hands. Your heart needs to be punished more for not listening to her.

Holy fuck this is incredible!! Such a hot story and I love the details - you've clearly being paying attention. 😯💓 I need someone to control and monitor and torture my heart like this. 🥵🥵🥵🥵

Sorry about the lack of notice but I spontaneously decided to stream for a bit today.

It was a lot of fun and I definitely didn't get any work done during my "work" heartbeat stream lol. For next time I'll try to get it so I can stream and type in chat at the same time, but in the meantime thank you for the hot comments and @number-one-man and @tachycardiophilia for the gifts even though I don't know what they do (yet)!

Congrats on the new house! Hope everything arrived safe and sound during the move! The house will feel like home in no time!

2. Got three scenarios for you.

Casual Cardiac Grab and Auscultation: I remember an image from years back on a furry site (sorry) where the patient, a female, was sitting down while the doctor examined her heart. The main draw was that the patient had her heart physically in the doctor's hands with the stethoscope. The description said this patient did this every time and felt no discomfort. What do you think about this?

Glass Heart: A medical website shows an animation of the heart while it is pumping. The heart shifts from a normal heart to a glass one where you can see the blood flow in the veins, arteries, and chambers. What if this could happen to your heart?

Alien Cardiac Aid: This last scenario is one I dreamed up randomly. This one goes where a young woman who lives mostly isolated from the rest of her neighbors discovers a downed spaceship while walking. Finding the pilot dead. She discovers its heart crawling away from the wreck. The alien organ is still pumping weakly. At first, she wants to run, but curiosity drives her closer. When she steps up, it grabs her leg like it is begging. She screams, flailing about and watching as it crawls up her leg toward her chest. It suddenly buries one of its veins into her chest, attaching it to her racing heart. The organ isn't trying to harm her. It wants a safe place to stay and keep itself alive. Since she was the one who came by, it chose her. Through her panic, she feels relief and gratitude. This heart was the mind and soul of the pilot, who tragically died in the crash. Now it asks her if it can stay with her until help arrives. It promises to behave and stay out of sight while it is with her. She gives it a lot of thought but ultimately decides to let it stay. Sending a flood of warmth through her system, the heart slowly burrows deeper until fully inside. She realizes: "I've got an alien's heart living inside me." She goes home, and her new adventures begin.

So what do you think? If any of this was possible, would you like to be involved?

Do you like it? Do you not like it? Let me know.

Ciao!

First of all, thank you! The new house is lovely and it's a relief to be past the mad scramble of searching, paperwork, and moving that's consumed the last six months of my life.

And then.... oh wow, which to choose! I think the second is my favourite because I love visuals and the vulnerability that that implies is just...mmm, nice. 😅 The parasitic nature of the third scenario squicks me out a little bit but this line still made me feel a certain kind of way: "It suddenly buries one of its veins into her chest, attaching it to her racing heart." 💦 And I love the first one, but would love it even more if it was against her/my will, I have to admit!