Bad Habits

“this song reminded me of you!!” ok so do you want head now or later???

need someone who’s going to grip my hips so hard they leave finger print marks. that would do it. that would heal me.

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

That and the monkey barrrsssss

i in fact do NOT have a pocket full of sunshine, that is a glock

The celebrity Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavors being some of the best ones is like the retail equivalent of having to go to a restaurant and order a rootin tootin yeehaw cowboy burger or something

*seductively* would you.. be interested in doing a unfunny bit with me sometime.. just the two of us..

"the three dots on the side" call her by her REAL NAME.. Meatballs Menu

im gonna say it now so everyone in my notes stops arguing over this. meatballs menu is three dots side-by-side. kebab menu is three dots up and down. bento menu is an array of 9 dots in a square shape. hamburger menu is three lines horizontally. Yes there are others but none of them are nearly as prevalent so i dont care enough to list them. goot bye

Literally what they're called btw this post isn't a bit

Computer programmers are perpetually famished

guy who talks about how unethical mt rushmore is but it slowly becomes clear that he isn't talking about environmental issues or native american land claims and instead believes that a four-headed chimera president was first created and then turned to stone