I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.
I have never heard of this band. I AM in fact referring to the animal.
But wait, there’s more!
My love... Mountain Goats aren't goats.
@otherworldlyflameorb

if i look back, i am lost

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
we're not kids anymore.
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@ashed13
I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.
I have never heard of this band. I AM in fact referring to the animal.
But wait, there’s more!
My love... Mountain Goats aren't goats.
@otherworldlyflameorb

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Cicada, Stages of Conventionalization
Hugo Froelich, Keramic Studio Magazine, 1905
@otherworldlyflameorb
this is how all high protein dessert vids look to me
@otherworldlyflameorb
funniest yet most enlightening conversation on this whole social media ban topic, by two girls sat across from me on the bus the other day:
"what do they mean by social media? does Roblox count? what about all the stuff I've built?"
"you'll be fine, doesn't your icloud say you're 34?"
"oh my god they're even banning Facebook. who the fuck is on Facebook"
@otherworldlyflameorb
i do think lobbying for data centres over climate goals should be considered a crime against humanity btw
Uh... There was an argument for this?
@otherworldlyflameorb

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Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot
If you don't have a parking lot, store bought is also fine!
@otherworldlyflameorb
“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat
@otherworldlyflameorb
im so fucking stubborn
michael what the fuck.
no its one of my fancy pencils :)
the end cap comes off :)
oh lard
my son he is sick he has every disease
we are nearing peak deviancy
happy back-to-school day
im so clever that its sickening
if i breathe wrong i'll lose him
it got too small for the clip. luckily i realized this eraser has the perfect holes
at what point does this stop being a pencil
Tags via @mik-mania
@otherworldlyflameorb
so "incubus" means someone who lies on top of something, and "succubus" means someone who lies underneath something, and the former also turns up in the word "incubate", which means to lie on top of an egg. To ensure closure we could therefore posit an analogous term "succubate", which would be something like this:
he is succubating.
@otherworldlyflameorb
@otherworldlyflameorb
Hello. It is me. Also severely directionally challenged.

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This is the 85 year old creator of Roger Rabbit:
@otherworldlyflameorb
Hello! Would you like the "Where's my wife?", or, "Where's everyone going, bingo?"
@otherworldlyflameorb
it's ok to keep secrets, everybody has some skeletons in the closet. Wraiths in the attic. Ghosts in the bedroom. Mummy in the kitchen. Enchanted armor on the stairs. Slimes in the basement. Maybe a giant spider in the backyard. Beholder or two in the garage. Vampires are also in the closet
my house is very unsafe
Does your guestroom ALSO have a malicious pixie infestation?
@otherworldlyflameorb
Hanahaki disease is a psychosomatic illness. It's a thing that your body does in response to stress over constantly repressing/concealing your feelings in settings with high background magic. It's like you've been ignoring pain for a long time and suddenly your vision starts going dark, because your affected body is just YANKING on random alerts trying to get you to PAY ATTENTION there is a PROBLEM. Yes the flowers do really exist. So do non-magical psychosomatic symptoms. The flowers aren't special.
This does of course open up the trope to options for non-romantic concealed feelings. Which I think is great. There is something viscerally satisfying about the person who seems so outwardly chipper coughing and hacking and spitting up Depression Flowers so now everyone has to know they're hurting. Isn't there?
Hanahaki, but it's a child that feels neglected by their parents.
Hanahaki, but it's someone whose friends have started ghosting them.
Hanahaki, someone's wife is cheating on them.
Hanahaki, the disease that gives you three options: confront your feelings, destroy the love you hold for someone or perish choking on roses.
Imagine this for transness
Hanahaki but it’s your body desperately needing you to love and care for it while your mind is trapped in the body that doesn’t fit, that’s wrong as it destroys you from the inside out the longer you aren’t able to get help to make your body feel like you
I can't tell the impact something like this actually existing will have on our society... Like would Hanahaki's existence further our understanding of mental health and give kids better parents (overall make things better for everyone), will it make everyone else more understanding and more focused on their family's and relationships, or will society think of it as something shameful?
Something to hide and pretend you don't have? Become taboo like depression and other mental illnesses? Or will it become a status symbol thing like "oh look, my family so rich I can shower my kids with so much love Hanahaki isn't even PRESENT in our bloodline!"?
Will religious people consider it something that makes you impure, therefore neglecting those people with it and almost killing them?
A hanahaki story where it's focused on society, it would be SO GOOD.
Saw you answering asks about your fic before I saw the update email lol. I'm going insane I love this so much. Earth knows so little about Simon the fan theories must be crazy. Iron lung universe people get to earth and are shocked when people care more about learning Simon's backstory than the fact that they're from a different universe. They also learn very quickly that talking ill of Simon is a Bad Idea.
eden and the c.o.i reach another unprecedented agreement between them to make sure everyone stays nice and quiet about what happened to simon on their side. yeah he was a child of eden haha. yeah he was a fighter. oh what did he fight in? ......................keeping the peace. inside the station. yeah. yeah he went to. to work on the c.o.i. yep. work.
Eden and the COI straight up writing their own Real Person fanfiction just to keep the peace 🤣🤣

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just finished TGT in less than 24 hrs, twas sooooo so good!
Do you have any thoughts on what rumors there might have been amongst IL-universe people about Simon and Grace post-TGT? Like does anyone else know/care they've got something going on and are basically living together on Erid? If I were on the Needle when they were attacked and learned that the Convict had single-handedly incapacitated almost all attackers to get to Grace, and then I always saw them attached at the hip, I might have thoughts. Idk hand wavy something about scary dog privileges and Simon's devotion to their savior.
Since you also mentioned that Eden might start worshipping Grace as a savior, and seeing as Simon already had a reputation as the Butcher, are there any stories that come from this?
ooooo i imagine it would've been like-
genuinely from the start i think everyone sort of assumed grace had a master plan for dragging simon up with him. nobody believed him when he said the convict was his friend, so everyone in the hangar, esp ava, had the thought that this doctor grace isn't just book-smart but also street-smart since he must recognize keeping a strong man chained to his side would provide him with some protection from anything they might want to push him to do. like everyone was always constantly aware that those chains were only holding simon back on principle, not in practice LOL
this belief never gets challenged as time goes on. they just sort of start wondering what simon's side of the situation is like, so they begin to suspect something happened in the sub that made simon indebted to grace. like maybe grace promised him something, maybe the 'keeping a dangerous man with him as a precaution' was always an agreed deal between the two of them (since it technically got simon out of prison)
but then the first attempted kidnapping happens and ava has the thought that neither of them behave as though that was what was going on. like simon seems far too distressed he had to protect grace because the coi let this happen, and grace seems far too caught off guard that someone tried to do something to him. so she begins to suspect that something else must absolutely be going on, and as simon cusses her out for being stupid, she has the thought that the convict looks way too affected by this if grace hadn't promised him anything. so ava is the first one to suspect simon might be developing something for grace, she just keeps the thoughts to herself. this is of course further reinforced on the attack on needle when simon begs her to let him go find grace.
nobody saw the hug, for the record, but that doesn't stop them from being very aware that simon is absolutely sticking to grace like a guard dog, and everyone suspects it's not just because ava told him to. everyone after the attack just knows that.
i don't think anyone bar ava would suspect with any seriousness that simon was down bad for grace? mostly because in their eyes it looked more like grace saved simon's life and simon, an eden fanatic, is obviously just clinging to his savior. crucially nobody thinks of this as strange, they all just accept this as like- yeah of course he would, i mean have you seen doctor grace? if doctor grace had saved me from such a dangerous mission and granted me partial and then complete freedom and essentially absolved me of my sins in his eyes, fuck, i'd look at him the same way the butcher does. ava does also agree with this take, she's just had a bit more interactions to clock that, on top of all of that, simon is just also down bad for the man. like those aren't mutually excluisve sentiments in her eyes (she's right) so when simon just goes to live in erid with grace, nobody thinks it's strange? like yeah of course the butcher would want to keep devoting his live to the man that saved him, and of course doctor grace would want to keep his bodyguard around. everyone (bar ava) is still lowkey convinced grace's plan all along was for simon to protect him, so this isn't strange; and ava just assumes that grace must've been telling the truth and he genuinely sees simon as a friend so of course he'd cling to him, the man is clearly too good for any of this and in desperate need for company.
so the entire story would probably get passed down like- doctor grace, the man that saved us: his first act of mercy was to save this sinner, recognizing his strength and keeping him around so he could protect him and work to atone for his sins. and the sinner, proving himself worthy of doctor grace's grace (lmao), chose to devote himself to humanity's savior as both a form of absolution and because only a saint like doctor grace was able to welcome such a man to stand by his side like an equal. the sinner is now redeemed in their eyes by devoting the rest of his life to keeping their savior safe and accompanied, and their savior remains the saint he always was by choosing the sinner to be the one to stay by his side, thereby setting the rest of them free to do as they please
"I commend you to the stars." Becomes a new kind of thing to say for people who die in space.
Plant Talk - Part 1
In which I take "Simon became the Last Tree", tree-mutated Simon, cult Eden, eldritch blood hivemind voices, and Bloodymary and blend them all together into my fucking insane "Simon can communicate with plants and he's not sure how he feels about it" AU
Bonus stuff
Grace: So what does this plant need?
Plant: The souls of the innocent–
Simon: Soil.
Plant: No!!
Simon: More Soil.