hey gamers

ohhhhj the mischevious smiler....

so im having a piss in the bathroom (where its supposed to go…) and these vaping godless wenches think the sound of my tinkle warrants a giggle. does anyone know how to get me in contact with some powerful etsy witches for a cheap and swift vengeance

The “Thunk” will always kill me.

14/10 doing his best

Evil musician named Britney Fears

Gay musician named Britney Queers

fellow musician named britney peers

Audience musician named Britney Cheers

Skyscraper musician named Britney Sears

Wildlife Musician named Britney Deers

Car musician named Britney Steers

Formerly invisible musician named Britney Appears

Rapidly approaching musician named Britney Nears

Maybe one reason time seems to speed up in adult life is because when your full time job leaves you roughly 5 hours of free time a day plus two days off a week your life turns into a sort of monotony that makes the days blend together and creative pursuits move in slow motion as you can only get to them when other your commitments are done.

When you look back and think damn 2019 wasn’t that long ago where did the time go? Job. Your Job took it.

is it weird to wish nudism was normalized purely because I'm curious what my friend's dicks look like?

not like in a sexual way, just because I think it's be interesting

she gets it!!

A big part of being a quadruped is being able to just lie down anytime. Waiting? Loaf time. Talking to someone shorter than you? Loaf time. Falling asleep in the sun? Loaf time. Bored? Loaf it up till something interesting happens. Leg hurt? Loaf time.

I like the idea in fantasy that humans are better at maintaining things long term because they set up societies or professions to do it whereas dwarves and elves and stuff are like “just get bob to do it he’s got a good few hundred years left” and then bob doesn’t teach anyone else how to do it

Knocked up my workplace with my 40 hour long week and it gave birth to a beautiful baby paycheck