awawa can rhyme with dakka dakka if you try

My gf's household received an eviction warning for 2,200$ and they need help to cover it! Please give her whatever you can so she doesn't get evicted, it would really mean the world to me. If you can't donate, at least please reblog okay?

Her ko-fi

almost the entire group sided with the TME bootlicking fascist because they said they "felt bad" about it. and i have been painted as some callous manipulator and had lies about me smeared all across campus. my entire friend group dissolved because i "wasn't being fair to them" and "lacked compassion". That i should give a second chance to the dude who said AI is the future, that AAVE is a devolution of English, is pro-landlord, and who proudly supports eugenics.

Would it shock you to learn that there was only one TMA person in the group besides me, and one of the few who doesn't still hate me? And that the people who sided with the fascists believed that trans women were "taking up" all the queer spaces?

This is just how it is for many trans women. The expectations for the behavior of transfems is sky-high. There is the assumption of bad-faith inherently, and the burden of proof for behavior as non-malicious is unreasonable.

Transmisogyny isn't just when people are mean online. Transmisogyny is the unconscious belief that trans women are dangerous and perverted. This group was seemingly afraid to touch me. And with my flat affect, unexpressive face, and lower empathy expression, it was only a matter of time before i did something to confirm what they believed all along - that trans women are not to be trusted. They would never say it out loud. They'd be scandalized when told they believe it. But the unconscious biases nonetheless demonstrate it's true.

you have to love the tgirl.

this has become something of a rallying cry in our circles, largely because of our community building work. we have gathered a couple dozen trans women in the same place and we have to love them. it is necessary to do what we're doing. we have to love our girls.

one of the girls asked how we could be so positive after we'd spent a while trying to convince her she wasn't a burden. we said that the alternative was worse - we have to look after each other. others said: you have to stay positive to keep going. gotta stay silly. that the way you care for others is the way they care for you. you have to help those you care about.

the alternative, is that she comes to you, clearly in distress, starts to ask for help but convinces herself you don't care, walks away, and then you never see her again.

trans women are isolated, pushed aside, ignored, and burned. we're all hurt and traumatised. we're not even safe in communities built for us and by us sometimes. even the happiest of us has to push through so much pain just to live. it's worth it, but it's hard. they payoff is that we get to live - not just stay alive, but actually properly live. we can't not be who we are. we need to be ourselves!

we need each other. we need community. we need touch. we need resources. we need money. we need others to love us enough not just to let us live, but to help us actually enjoy our lives, to help us pursue our freedom and needs. it's not enough to accept the trans woman, you have to love her. you have to love her before it's too late. you need to reach out to her, include her, support her... because...

half of us are convinced we don't deserve to be loved. the other half are convinced that we'll never be loved the way we need. the other half are abandoning our humanity because humanity doesn't want us. the other half of us are giving up on living. the other half of us are determined to just survive. the other half are focussing on the positive because the negative is just too crushing to contemplate. the other half are contorting ourselves to fit an image of perfection to be accepted. the other half are standing tall and avoiding all semblance of weakness to be there for everyone - because if she can love her sisters maybe she can learn to love herself too.

you have to love the tgirl, because you might be the only one who does. that means having understanding, compassion, forgiveness, and empathy for her. it means being willing to forgive her when she hurts you, it means being willing to apologise when you hurt her, it means acknowledging that she might not forgive you.