Idk man itâs so easy to get bogged down in all the bullshit online but when my then-6 year old cousin found out I was trans he said âokâ then corrected my grandma when she misgendered me. I was once the third between a gay man and a lesbian. Two lesbians once invited me back to their place when I presented as a man. I met an AMAB nb butch who looked strikingly to outsiders like a cis man and it was one of the more sapphic experiences Iâve had. I nervously wore a boydyke shirt to pride and got 3 different cis-looking femme folks tell me they loved my shirt. I once told a trans group at a protest that any pronouns were fine for me and one person said âwow, Iâm impressed and intimidated by people like that. I donât know that I could be that chill with pronouns.â I once told a GNC friend I wished I could wear a type of âoppositeâ gender clothing after I had already transitioned and so it would be associated with my AGAB and he said âYou could just do it.â Iâve had cishet men fight cops for me before. The first time I had a doctor ask me if my name was different than what was on my forms I had to try not to cry. Last week, a phone call with a doctorâs office where I am generally cis passing asked unprompted if my name listed is what I want to be called. It touched me then too. I told a lesbian friend once I felt like my attraction to men AND women both felt gay. She said âmakes sense.â And we moved on. I go by different pronouns in different circles. Iâve had gay women love my facial hair. Iâve had gay men like my tits. Itâs all out there, I promise. It can be hard to find it but I promise there is community like you and community who likes you. And itâs more messy and beautiful than tumblr discourse makes it out to be.




















