I'm a tired boy

They're putting toxins in the water to turn the specialists gay

normal guy playing wordle: "i really recommend ATONE and GUILT" for starting words

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one of the funnier incidents of me assuming someone knew a meme irl was when a new coworker was talking about some woman who got arrested for tax fraud and I went "God forbid women do anything" and he got scared and thought I was accusing him of being sexist, so he started apologizing and saying how tax fraud isn't even bad, actually.

awhile ago a coworker and i were play arguing whether or not the mystery gang were all romantically a thing/polycule or just really good friends (yknow bored at work things) and knowing my bfs interest in scooby doo i texted him asking him to be the tie breaker and he responded “well it depends which canon youre going off of” and just instantly cold sweat knew i was out of my depth

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

Alcohol is crazy. One small cocktail enters your body and fifteen minutes later, it has transmogrifie into like a gallon of piss

That is the drunkest way I could have spelled that

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

Yes, that is my circus, and, yes, those are my monkeys, but I am not on shift yet.

Luke Skywalker put away his targeting computer to destroy the Death Star so I don't need AI to help me write an email.

"gero can't be with kinosaki because he needs to make an heir to save his lesbian sister" half of people: this story is about doing what makes you happy, regardless of what traditions say. gero's going to be with kinosaki and go against his family to do it. the other half: he will get her boypregnant

you are allowed to be wrong you are allowed to mess up you are allowed to be embarrassing.

Why do the servants not simply rise up and execute the Bridgertons