Ascension Props

-Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court (1889)

writer: *unhinged idea*

writer friend: *encourages unhinged idea*

writer:  😈 

And this is what happens when a masterfully crafted katana collides with a masterfully crafted longsword.

Does nobody understand that longswords and katanas are two different kinds of tool?Longswords are essentially sharpened fucksticks designed to destroy the shit out of anything resembling armor that comes their way. They shatter bone, jelly flesh, and essentially fuck people up by sheer inexorable force of being a goddamn sharp steel bar.

Katanas don’t do that.They’re not meant to withstand collision with armor or a brick wall or a charging fully outfitted warhorsebecause the circumstances of its development didn’t call for that. It’s a precision instrument. It’s designed to be lightweight, outmaneuver, and find weak spots, not go barreling into people hack-n-slashing your way to victory. It’s a specialized tool.

Medieval European / Japanese sword-fighting manuals didn’t have “Now Clang the Swords Together and Totally Ruin Them For No Good Reason Whatsoever” sections. That sword-clanging crap is from movies because you want to show a 2 minute dancey sword-fight and have to do something during that time, because in real sword fights it’s either over in 25 seconds with one guy on the ground, dead, or it goes on for 4 hours as two guys in armor wear themselves out, slamming the broad sides of the sword against the armor.

Swords aren’t lightsabers.

This is like proving a Volkswagen Beetle is a “crap car” by running it into a bridge pylon at 85 mph. It’s a pointless demonstration, because you’re not supposed to do that.

I reblogged this.

Here’s my thought on it though:

We know three things about Crowley’s Fall. He know he didn’t mean Fall. We know that he hung out with the Wrong Crowd. And we know that he was kicked out from asking too many questions.

We know one other thing about Crowley, he literally hung the stars. Not all of them, but enough of them.

You’ll pardon me if I mess anything up, but from what I recall from my own study on the issue and from what Neilhimself has said, there are Archangels, principalities, archangels, and cherubim. We know that Aziarphale is a principality, ranked just below the main four. The main four Archangels are Michael, Gabriel, Uriel, and Raphael. But in the show we see Uriel, Michael, Gabriel, and Sandalphon? Where’s Raphael?

So if he was once Raphael, that would mean that he was demoted. But he doesn’t act like someone who has been demoted. Like you would expect him to be more bitter. But Aziraphale is nervous guarding the Eastern Gate. Like it’s his first major job. So I think that rules him out as being Raphael.

But Crowley is a different kettle of fish. As it has been pointed out Raphael is a healer and his symbol is a snake on a stick. Now if Crowley was a low level angel I don’t believe God is cruel enough to throw him out for asking questions, (the Flood aside). But if it was Raphael, though…that’s a different story. Lucifer was a favored son after all, so it stands to reason God would be more angry about one of the Archangels siding with Lucifer and asking all the right wrong questions. And honestly what better punishment then to turn him into an actual snake.

So if he was Raphael and he did create stars and nebulae that would explain why he’s a field agent even though he doesn’t really doing any major tempting. It would explain how he could get away with doing “miracles”. How he could straight up STOP time. He was an Archangel.

On a side note, I think that Aziraphale was created (or whatever happens to make more angels) AFTER the Fall. It’s why he was named Aziraphale. After Raphael. And I think that’s what first draws Crowley to the angel. Here is this being that was named after his former self, he just has to meet him. And when he does, Arizaphale is exactly everything Crowley hoped he would be and more.

Incels and other sexist men can’t see a woman doing something incredible without fuming and trying to discredit her. They’re now dissing on Katie Bouman, who helped write one of the algorithms that got us the black hole picture, saying she was just an assistant (they don’t know what assistant professor is), and using Andrew Chael, her colleague in the Event Horizon Telescope team who helped write one of the codes, as ~the true person behind the codes who is being erased by this anti-men society~ or whatever. They’re even saying crap like “lmao women really don’t do shit”. Andrew took to Twitter himself to call bullshit on that.

If y'all can spread this thread to counter such narrative it’d be great.

LET ME SMOOCH YOU

“They’re weird!/They’re not normal!”

That’s your opinion, not a fact. What you really mean is “They’re not like me”. They’re not hurting anyone by not being like you.

“They’re cringey!”

Again, it’s just your opinion, and they’re not hurting anyone. Cringe culture is pointless anyway.

“They’re annoying!”

Once again, just your opinion. If you think someone’s annoying, why not just stay away from them? No need to be rude.

“They’re autistic!”

Shame on you. Get out of my face.

“They’re fat!/They’re ugly!”

And you’re shallow. So what if you don’t like the way someone looks? It’s not your place to make them feel bad about it.

“They’re [any non-straight sexuality]!”

Get out of my sight. This is the 21st century.

“They’re trans!”

See above.

“They’re just seeking attention!”

You don’t know that for a fact. And even if they really are seeking attention, you don’t have the right to shame them.

“It’s funny to pick on them!”

Shame on you if you think bullying is funny. Get a life.

“I was just joking around!”

That’s no excuse. There are other ways to have fun that don’t involve putting other people down.

“Words can’t actually hurt anyone!”

Wrong. Words do hurt, and sometimes they can hurt more than actual physical injury.

“I’m not a bully, they’re just too sensitive!”

Not everyone reacts the same way. If you weren’t so rude, there wouldn’t be anything for the victim to be “sensitive” about.

“I’m just speaking the truth!”

Honesty is great. But you can be honest and say what you think without being rude about it. There’s a fine line between ‘brutally honest’ and ‘downright rude’.

“I have freedom of speech!”

You do. But if you’re using your ‘freedom of speech’ to bully and shame others, then you’re abusing it.

“But-”

No.

I don’t care what ‘reason’ you pull out of your ass to try to justify bullying, it’s invalid. Bullying, whatever the reason is, is unnecessary, cruel, and totally pointless.

If you bully someone, you’re basically telling them:

“You don’t deserve to be happy”

“You’re inferior to me”

“Your feelings are a joke”

Is that really what you want to be telling people?