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Running so much it hurts. IT HURTS. Your chest is tight. Your breathing rapid. Sweat drips into your eye like acidic tears. It burns. It blurs your vision, but you keep running.


From what? What are you running from? Something you know you can't beat. You know you can't win, but yet what if you tried just a little bit harder...


You're running from yourself. A marathon of monotonous circles always ending up back where you began.


An escape rope that can never be reached.


 
Care. You care too much. You care so much its agony.


All you want is for someone to hold you, someone to protect you, someone to save you from your own mind.


You reject everyone. Rejecting is your shield against the inevitable blow that is abandonment.


At least that's what you expect...you never give people the chance to know the real you anyway.
You tell others to RUN. Run away.

You think you're protecting them from the hurricane that is you.


You want to be loved.


You can't love yourself but you can love others.


You love so much.


You love so fucking much it hurts because no one will ever be able to reciprocate the intensity of your own emotions.


Your will to survive is maintained by serving others.


But deep down. All you want is someone to look after you.


You are a juxtaposition.


You care so deeply that the thought of ever losing someone close to you destroys your entire world.


Yet. To deal with this torment you push them away.


Protect. Protect. Protect.


A war. Between the rational and irrational.


Both competing in your brain to be the champion.


But you never know who will win...


Emotions are your puppeteer. They govern your every step.


Every second. Every minute. Every hour is intense. Overwhelming. 


Elation, depression, anxiety, euphoria.


A web of lies. Each emotion coaxing you along the tightrope towards the goal of 'stability'...


Until snap. A trigger. You're hurled into another turbulent wave of emotion.


You're convinced this time you will drown.


You're too sensitive.


Too irrational.


Too impulsive.


Too manic.


Too depressed.


Too anxious.


TOO MUCH EVERYTHING.


EVERYTHING IS TOO MUCH.


But silence is deadly.


You can't just exist.


You must feel the emotions.