Islay-31-User of this Hellsite (affectionate) since Dec 2010. (Ze/Her, assigned by Scrabble tiles 2026 baybee) "The Ex-Wife that youâll always love to death" âAn Alt Ms Frizzleâ Writer, Illustrator, Songwriter. Iâm back you sorry bastards!
i'm aware that the introvert website might but the wrong audience BUT please tell me your default karaoke song in the tags (for bonus points also tell me the song you WISH you could sing at karaoke but it's too obscure for the karaoke booths to have)
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Women stick thin and malnourished on the red carpet, and people are saying you can't point out that these women are dying because that's body shaming. Girl.
I havenât had body image issues for most of more (despite my motherâs attempts) but there is something about the onslaught of starving actresses? Itâs grotesque. Itâs deeply uncomfortable. I wouldnât say triggering for me because I donât have a history of EDs, but every word of my motherâs flashes in approval at their skeletal frames- which is terrifying, that all these women supposedly âhealthier than everâ are withering away in front of our eyes- and we are being told weâre delusional.
NO FOLKS! Maybe one natural skeletal frame, perhaps, another secretly has cancer- but ALL OF THEM? No. Eating Disorders are contagious and this shit is DANGEROUS TO EVERYONE.
Also best thing for me is I really cannot blame Rae for all the choices she makes. Or the Cobra either way. You can have all the foreknowledge in the world, all the meta advantage, but sometimes youâre just a person trying to be smart and you arenât as smart as you think you are.
I think itâs important that most of these characters are wielding charm or personality, NOT intellect. I feel like the issue we encounter a lot in fiction is folks criticizing characters for being stupid when they make stupid choices, because the narrative usually tells us theyâre geniuses or brilliant scientists or a prodigy - and Iâd argue itâs INCREDIBLY hard to write a character smarter than yourself. (Probably why ol GRRM is dragging his feet, it takes him ages to hammer out Tyrionâs dialogue alone; someone much smarter than himself) Most authors are smart, many are clever, but none are super-human levels - which is usually what books will tell us our heroes (not always the protagonist, but many of their allies at least) are.
But the characters in Long Live Evil/All Hail Chaos are forces of personality, of charm, of deceit, of schemes, of power hungry ambition, of yearning, of devotion, of loyalty- these I think are much easier to demonstrate and thus, Sarah Rees Brennan can deliver on the promises she makes about who these characters are and how they operate.
So when you get to the end and go âshit⌠we could have avoided all this if this character had only done thisâŚâ I find myself really feeling all the conflict the characters do, because my own dramatic irony isnât in conflict. Iâm not made false promises. The writing supports the reality the story exists in.
Like absolutely people are trying to outsmart one another, but in ways that kind of disarm the âum well actuallyâ assholes of fandom. Also? Itâs probably a lot more fun to write a bunch of high charisma folks (and those who struggle with charisma, Emer and Marius my dears); because what are characters if not PERSONALITIES?
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if you want me to consume a new media you MUST catch me at the exact moment when the stars are aligned and the air pressure is equal to the current degree of the sunâs peak against the horizon and all the cosmic energies are perfectly unified (aka my old interest is fading out) or i will nod and say âim adding that to my list!â Knowing theres no chance i will check it out
âunless its a book!â âunless you tell me it has gay people in it!â âthis but only for live action showsâ âtheres a good chance iâll get to it eventuallyâ no wrong this post is not for you this post is ONLY for bitches who could have a treasured friend recommend them something that sounds grown in a lab to be your personal catnip and, with no choice in the matter, immediately know it will never be the right time to watch/read/listen to it
âŚyâall do you HAVE to go into the dark murder hole with the unstable horned cult leader? Like⌠you donât have to do that. No one is telling you to do that.
Also why are they so confused by the room being on its side? This is the ruins of a crashed flying city, I doubt it just fell perfectly normally.
Anyways I am worried. These guys are WORRYING ME. Also I didnât like the initial climb down to Obann, so this is not gripping my attention in a similar way. I think it is making it clear to me that âthis is a dungeonâ is more entertaining to play or design than watch for my preferences.
Or just the dark hole nature of it all? Because the Emerald is pure dungeon crawl vibes just⌠not in a hole. So maybe I just hate underground stuff? But I didnât mind the gnoll mines from early campaign???
Idk yâall.
Veth is hot though. Unexpectedly late game love for that unhinged woman.
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Seriously though, the way some people treat liking media as if it has an expiration date is so weird to me. And three years is still so recent in the grand scheme of things anyway, actually!
I am a gal who plays one game for a decade. It was Sims 2, then Mount and Blade: Warband, and this decade's version is BG3.
SOMETIMES A FUN GAME IS FUN AND REPLAYABLITY!
Hi hello, I know itâs a nitpick but CLEARLY NONE OF THESE BITCHES HAVE ACTUALLY LIVED IN THE COLD- or if they have? They have FORGOTTEN!
âItâs cloudy and more snowy, itâs colder.â
NAH BITCH, YOU DO NOT KNOW THE TERROR OF A CLEAR BLUE, CLOUDLESS OPEN SKY IN JANUARY. That is true cold. That is where the winds tear across the open ice, the sun reflects off the ground and back into your face- burning you with radiation and windburn so severe exposed flesh stings and burns within seconds. Where your fingers stiffen, bloat, and turn so red in your gloves the purple starts to form before you finally escape back indoors.
Snow is good. Snow is great. Gentle snow is survivable. If itâs warm enough to snow? You are golden.
Itâs when itâs too cold to snow. That is fear. That is cold. Snow insulates, snow keeps things temperate. But without it?
Eiselcrossâ greatest dramatic temperature drops shouldnât be in snowstorms- it should be on a clear moonless night where there is nothing. Nothing but the howl of the wind, and the glow of nine red eyes in the empty tundra.
I mean... I suspected, I gotta say I wasn't going to rule it out that Lucien wasn't right under their nose- but I assumed they'd maybe be ambushed or something? But no. That's actually a very smart villain. Lucien doesn't know shit about the Nein, doesn't care about the Nein- but he does care about DeRogna.
Also VERY clever on Matt's part for having it clear that DeRogna has a version of her own Portable Demiplane, ergo none of her so-called bodyguards actually thought to? You know? Protect her?
And this also makes it clear how powerful Lucien is BECAUSE HE AMBUSHED AND TOOK DOWN A MEMBER OF THE CERBERUS ASSEMBLY HOLY SHIT. (I'm assuming they're all lvl 16-20 wizards)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Lucien you tricky bastard! I love this shit.
âŚyou know what? I hope someone else other than Matt does Lucienâs voice in the show.
Not that I dislike Matt. But I do think his voice is too disparate from Taliesinâs Molly voice. Ideally Taliesin does a Better & more Evil Irish Accent, but we know that wonât happen- so? Perhaps another VA?
Yeah so I just met Lucien properly and I canât get a proper handle on him yet.
Yeah Iâm about at 1 hour and 38 minutes in, and Lucienâs little snap is INTRIGUING. Also Matt delivering this all as Artagan is FUN.
Also Caddyâs coming out was earlier in the episode and it was so cute. I love him calling everyone else for being horny messes.
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Au in which Molly comes back without any memories again , wanders into the Clayâs household and procceeds to eat everything there, puke, pass out. and then the Clays come back to this stranger making a MESS there and are like oh? he doesnt speak and heâs got a letter from the mighty nein! he must be their friend!Â
So the Clays start taking care of them until they can somehow contact the nein. He relearns to People there and works on remembering the nein, until one day Jester sends a message to them and freaks out when they say their friend is well and recovering and waiting for them. many shenanigans issue, Molly starts talking with the Clay accent, this AU is for ME
If you asked Molly, ages later who he owed his second go around to? Clarabelle Clay. Undoubtedly. Eternally. No one else would be as crazy. And gods above love her, she was nuts. Just Mollyâs type of people.
â
Colton and her had scouted ahead, another one of the corrupted beasts threatening to breach the tree line despite the ebbing effects of all six of them returning to the Grove. Nila and her family did what they could, but it still took many hands to lighten the load of sprinkling parts of the rooted crystals through the entire Savalirwood.
Clarabelle was digging a hole, eyes tracking for movement of a bone white variety. She dropped the particles from her pouch before covering it with a hand to cast a touch of growth. When she stood up, she almost shrieked at the glowing red eyes that met her.
âMMmty,â The figure said, more of a mumbling of words than a proper word. Their lavender claws outstretched towards Clarabelleâs head with a wide stare of singular purpose.
The young firbolg almost shrieked, before covering her mouth as she realized she could draw creatures larger than a singular devil- were devils purple? The curling horns, the scarred skin- wait? Did devils have tattoos?
Her hesitation cost as the tiefling reached out and grabbed a handful of Clarabelleâs multicoloured hair (and surely it wasnât imposing enough to be a devil). The creatureâs features narrowed, peacock featherâs flexing along their jaw as they inspected Clarabelleâs tresses. She froze, unsure how to proceed.
The tiefling stuck their face into the colours and made a cooing noise.
Clarabelle couldnât help but smile. âOh, yeah you must like colours huh? We kinda match!â
As the tiefling petted her hair, entranced with the colours, Clarabelle was able to take in the rest of the tieflingâs appearance. They were filthy. Covered in mud and grime, with mulch along the creases of their once-lovely clothing. Slung around their neck clumsily was a giant bundle of maroon embroidery, with a silver and brown length draping down their front. Everything looked weathered. A couple toes peeked out from their boots, split along the seam and barely practical if not for the broken ground underfoot.
A small beetle crawled up and onto the tieflingâs curved black horn a touch away from her face, and Clarabelleâs eyebrows shot up: a Gravediggerâs Companion. They were round little insects who liked to feed on the dead; often making meals after the first signs of decay once the fly larvae had finished their first round of pupation. They were great friends to her in the Grove but she rarely saw them outside of graveyards.
âClarabelle! Iâve got you!â Coltonâs voice sounded from behind her. She and the tiefling turned to see Colton running forward and readying his sword.
She tucked her hand over the horn of the suddenly shaking Tiefling, shielding them and the special beetle. She tucked both behind her quickly as she tried to get between them and Colton.
âColton, stop. Iâm fine!â She tried not to be too loud even as she felt the excitement well up inside her. Sheâd discovered something special. A tiefling with a Gravediggerâs Companion. This was a sign just for her. She felt it in her heart.
âStep away from that guy. He could be corrupted.â Colton levelled his sword, sure of himself even when he didnât have all the facts.
Clarabelle stomped her foot. âIâm going to tell mom you left me alone if you donât put that sword away right now!â
ââBelle, he could be dangerous.â He wasnât letting up.
The tiefling whimpered, tugging at her hair. The scarred, snake-decorated hand clutched onto her as they pleaded without words for safety. Clarabelle was a Clay, she was a guardian of the Blooming Grove.
âI am offering this stranger sanctuary in the Grove.â Clarabelle declared, sounding very grown up if she did say so herself.
Colton made a noise of disbelief, âYou canât make a decision like that. Youâre not old enough-â
âIâve seen fifty winters. I can absolutely make that decision. Pilgrimage outside the Grove was far more dangerous than this,â Clarabelle reached down to take the tieflingâs small hand out of her hair and hold it firmly, smiling reassuringly down at them. âThis is a sign from the Wildmother. Heâs got a Gravediggerâs Companion on him. She sent this tiefling to me.â
Colton gave her a look of disbelief. âYou canât just bring a random tiefling who tries to grab you in the woods back to the Grove. He could be a zombie. A wraith. A devil.â
âDonât be so judgemental.â Clarabelle stuck out her tongue. She heard a soft giggle from the tiefling at her side. Quick as a whip, the tiefling ducked their head into her side and smiled bashfully. âSee? They⌠he? She? It? Oh dear- either way, Iâm the favourite.â
âOkay, but Calliope is running all the detections before we pass the third gate. We canât threaten Nilaâs family. They have a kid.â Colton said warily, finally sheathing his sword. He still looked down at the scarred forearm clutching his sisterâs hand under the piles of rusty brown fabric. There was something wrong here
âWhatâs your name, Lilac?â Clarabelle asked, taking up her staff in her free hand to begin the walk back to the Grove.
Colton followed at a steady pace, clearly not pointing out lilacs were a different shade. But it was less syllables.
âMMmmly.â The mumbling was more frustrated this time. Like the tiefling had an idea of how language worked, but couldnât quite figure out how it flowed from mind to mouth to air.
Clarabelle squeezed their hand reassuringly. âItâs okay, weâll figure something out. Can you sign? Maybe itâs common. I speak Slyvan? Giant?â
The frown deepened, the tiefling looking like they were trying to piece together what Clarabelle would understand and what could even be said. Their red eyes flared for a moment, but nothing happened. Their mouth opened and closed but the same âMmm-â
Her soft grey fur made a nice match for the tieflingâs soft violet skin as she brought their combined hands up to her chest. It was like moonlight and mist at twilight, perfect for catching beetles. She could sense a kinship for colour, for curiosity, and for kindness from the soft way the tiefling looked up at her shushing him with a broad grin.
âHey, itâs okay Lilac. Weâll figure something else out. You donât have to tell us everything. Just trust that you and me are going to be great friends.â Clarabelle said, plucking her hat off and placing it over the mess of dirty violet curls. âCan I call you Lilac, until we know your name? Just nod.â
The tiefling nodded. Seeming relieved to have some way to get their thoughts across.
âGood. Now weâre going to go back to our home. My name is Clarabelle. This is my stinky older brother Colton. Weâre Clays of the Blooming Grove and weâre going to take care of you. Our ministry is anything in these woods, and guess what? Youâre that.â She said cheerfully, seeing that same beetle crawl off the horn onto the brim of the hat as if assuring her this was the right move.
The red eyes softened. They nodded.
âGood!â Clarabelle tugged the tiefling closer, âI can tell weâre going to get along just fine.â
In moving her new friend, Coltonâs sharp breath made her look down to trace his sudden look of horror.
In the middle of her new chargeâs chest, previously hidden by the streaked, once fine silver brocade, was a deep black and rust flaked wound in the centre of their chest. Between two soft planes, nestled right beside the heart. It was a mark no one could come back from.
Well. That explained the beetle. Mom was going to kill her. But wasnât this exciting?
Okay, so Calebâs unhinged impulsivity is going a LITTLE overboard. MY GOOD DUDE WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BANG A SEA MONSTER!?
That being said, this makes a lot of other shit make a ton of sense.
Caleb is a freak. I hope Essek knows what heâs getting himself into.
This is also proving to me that Caleb, if Nott had propositioned him, probably wouldnât have said no even confronted with those teeth. What a freak (affectionate).