a hugi minute

We have seen so much planning and preparation and desperation for normalcy. The Gladlands, despite being chaotic, strives to maintain a structure that benefits everyone and keeps life flowing as perfectly as they can manage. People are also so aware of the importance of interconnectiveness and how their actions affect others.

But Muni was alive one moment and dead the next. There was no plan for that. There was no reason that Muni should have died. Yet he did. He didn't have a perfect death like maybe Bub did. Bub died in a way he should have. Even Quinn's husband, Mark. His death was a choice. Muni... Muni's life was taken without reason, clear cause, or need.

And Muni was something the History Heap couldn't revive. They revive old information and location and facts all the time. Now Muni is the past but Muni isn't an ancient artifact. Muni was a son and a cousin and loved member of society. Muni is a past that they can actually remember instead of hypothesizing about.

I had also wondered why Hugi thought so low of others. Over and over, Hugi said they were the only one who could do what they were doing. Why assume others cannot have the same skills? But I think Hugi had to tell themself that to 1) convince themself that they were good enough and as skilled as Muni and 2) to preserve space for Muni. Letting someone else into the space Muni occupied is sort of admitting that he is gone, he will not come back, Hugi needs help with the job and managing emotions.